Weekend Thought…Called to Love
January 13th, 2006 @ 1:11 pm
Earlier this week, I was fortunate enough to sit down with my friend Megan for a few minutes. If you are new here, Megan is a girl I have known/worked with for a couple of years whose husband of just two short months passed away on January 3rd after fighting cancer. And I mean fighting.
Anyway, I was telling her how much I respected and admired her for her choosing to love Brandon despite all of the risk that was involved, not knowing how long she would have him or how hard the journey would be. What she said really got me thinking.
Now, Chris and I have been married for a little over 2.5 years. Our marriage was built on a deep friendship, and although we did have the romantic highs, something I’ve always appreciated about our relationship was the down-to-earth reality we live with, knowing love is a commitment and not a fuzzy feeling (which is highly ironic given we are both extremely idealistic.)
Megan said something to the effect of although she chose to love Brandon, it was God who called her to love him, and she was being obidient to Him by choosing.
I have not thought of my marriage in that respect in quite a while. Chris and I are called by God to love each other. To cherish and respect each other. So many times I view our marriage as a decision we have made (and sometimes one we have to stick to even when we feel like running away!) but being called by God to love each other? Wow.
Not only are we are called by God to love each other, we are also called by Him to love the world. Our friends. Family. Co-workers. Random people. Everybody.
Hollywood & society have put such a sugar coating on what love is, both romantically and platonically. Sometimes there’s so much sugar, it buries the fact that we called to love, because Christ first loved us.
“We, though, are going to love–love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first. If anyone boasts, “I love God,” and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won’t love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can’t see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You’ve got to love both.”
- John, (1 John 4:19)
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Musings/Poetry · Weekend Thought...
Deana Watson said,
January 13, 2006 at 1:28 pm
good thoughts Anne…thanks for the reminder…we can all use it every now and then!
Candyce said,
January 13, 2006 at 2:47 pm
ah, extremely good food for thought, anne-girl…
now, the question is, what does it look like to live out that calling? hmm…
James Petticrew said,
January 13, 2006 at 3:29 pm
You might well have out your finger on why the rate of divorce is so high outside the church and sadly inside too! Love needs to be commanded because the truth is some times I don’t feel like it!
Anne Jackson said,
January 13, 2006 at 3:31 pm
Candyce~
Hmm…maybe another post topic on what it looks like….thanks ;)
Anne Jackson said,
January 13, 2006 at 3:34 pm
James~
I think one of the problems (and that you kinda bring up) is that we never talk about that stuff. We always want to pretend we have perfect marriages overwhelmed with passion when after a few months the honeymoon is over and there are really tough times. My therapist says the worst years are really 3-5 and I have to say the last few months have been really hard because you get comfortable with that person and it’s easy to fall into a mode of independence. Anyway, maybe by casting some light on what marriage is really like we can be encouragement to others to let them know they’re not alone. I know in the 2.5 years we have been married we have learned a lot and it takes a lot and a few times I’ve just wanted to leave and be on my own (because it’s easier!!!) and I’m sure you can attest to that as well as you’ve been married 19 years and have been through so many more seasons! (Not knocking ya, old guy!) :)
kris said,
January 13, 2006 at 3:43 pm
commitment to marriage ~ or anything else for that matter, is becoming so passe in our disposable world. if something is hard, we just don’t think we should have to do it. i agree on the whole ‘hollywood’ spin on romance etc…. this just feeds that kind of thinking. ‘if it’s hard, i’ll get out and find something - or someone - better.’ but, i think if we decide to honor commitments to hard stuff, the ‘rewards’ will come — just in a less expected way. anyway, that is how i will pray for your friend Megan as she works through her loss. May God restore her to fullness and joy…
Lori said,
January 13, 2006 at 4:20 pm
I agree with kris. I think working at a marriage takes a lot of hard work and discipline….setting aside time for each other, setting ground rules for conflict, knowing buttons and choosing not to push them…
erin said,
January 13, 2006 at 7:53 pm
awesome thoughts anne (and megan). Megan and Brandon’s relationship has had such an effect on my husband and I (and so many others, as well). Not necessarily because we knew Brandon well or Brandon and Megan as a couple, but because of what you write. What their relationship says about them and also Christ. Megan knows she was called to love Brandon, and with reckless abandon. What if we were all convinced of that calling in our marriages/relationships? How much more would we be SURE that even though it’s not always what we want we are called to love and honor that person and noone else. It would produce a lot more sticking power, that’s for sure, as some of you have said. But her choosing to love in the face of such uncertainty and possible heartbreak, that’s inspiring. It’s sort of how I view Christ on his way to the cross. He knew what He was getting into, He knew some of the people He was going to die for would betray Him, and not accept Him, and not believe in Him, and there was certain heartbreak at the end of His journey. But it was obviously what God called Him to do, and He chose to love. The ultimate love story.
Well, I just passed the 3 year mark in my marriage…yikes! Consider myself warned…:)
James Petticrew said,
January 13, 2006 at 9:22 pm
Yeah rub the age thing in!
James Petticrew said,
January 13, 2006 at 9:51 pm
Can I recommend the “Marriage Course” from Holy Trinity Brompton for your churches to run or for a young married’s small group. We just went through it as part of of our course and even after 19 years I found it helpful. Its from HTB so there are a lot of posh english people and we had to explain some of the street interviews for the Americans but overall this is the best resource I have seen for peole who are already married. Its videos with work books for each couple. I know Ann and I gained from it
flowerofscotland said,
January 14, 2006 at 2:35 pm
you’re an encouragement!!!
Thanks!
I love how spontaneous God is…I find that all very romantic…and it is one of the ways that he romances my heart!!!
Beth said,
January 14, 2006 at 4:05 pm
Anne,
First - you are just too darn pretty.
Second - I’ve long thought of marriage as much, much more than the butterfly feeling I got (and still do get occasionally) in my stomach when I saw Mike. I love him for all that he is - handsome, kind, strong, passionate and patient. But I love him most of all because God tells me to.
crystal said,
January 14, 2006 at 11:31 pm
i love you and chris and the example of marriage you present to me so often. very real. very true.
i love that.
Levi said,
January 15, 2006 at 12:26 pm
i’m working with some guys in glasgow, but we are planning a tour of scotland in april, so any contacts in edinburgh are totally appreciated : ) yeah, hopefully i’ll have something on when you guys are here, that would be sweet
mairi Petticrew said,
January 15, 2006 at 12:36 pm
yeah i really wanna go see it! :-D and i cant WAIT to go to california!
Tracy said,
January 15, 2006 at 3:09 pm
i really like that verse, and i also really like what you guys are teaching me about what love truly is. i know it will be useful in my future.
i love you!
tracy
Gwen said,
January 15, 2006 at 6:11 pm
Great thoughts Anne, you know I echo that completely!
Bydand Daughter said,
January 16, 2006 at 12:52 pm
I would love to meet up with you once you get to Edinburgh. Just let me know what the plans are. When are you coming by the way?
Brian said,
January 16, 2006 at 4:19 pm
i just noticed how many scottish friends you have! i just saw braveheart, and i told my friends with whom i was watching it that scotland has the highest violent crime rate (i read it on your little blog thingy i believe.) right then mel gibson threw a sword into a mans chest, then cut off anothers leg! it was cool.
regarding your post - i like it, it was very insightful of megan to say that. it helps a lot! thanks fo rthe post! it sheds new light onto what love should be and is.
Jessica said,
January 16, 2006 at 9:04 pm
Hello Anne!
Thank you for commenting. That was thoughtful of you to ask about my opinions of the churches and as a matter of fact, I wrote a private journal entry discussing just that.
The first church was smaller and I liked how they noticed I was a newcomer and welcomed me with open arms. The guest preacher had an awesome command over the congregation and that’s very important to me. I like a preacher with a loud, booming voice that evokes excitement from within me, whether I agree or disagree with what he’s saying. I also loved the family atmosphere and the diversity offered at this particular Church of Christ. The only downsides to this service was the small congregation and the traditional music style that I’m not sure I’m fond of. (I’m still up in the air as to my musical preference.. contemporary or more traditional… hmm.)
The second church was enormous and incredibly energetic. Everyone wanted to be there and that was very obvious. The preacher was very charming and had a great sense of humor, but it seemed more like his comedy hour at times than a discussion on The Word and our calling as Christians. The music ROCKED. Contemporary, but I wasn’t too embarrassed by it. (I can’t sing worth beans.)
I know I’ll never find a perfect church, but I feel I owe it to myself to keep looking for a while. Thanks for getting me thinking. I always enjoy that sort of thing.
Hopefully, now you’ve gathered some ideas as to what I’m looking for in a church. :) I see you’re from KS, too! Totally neato! Let me know if you have any recommendations in the Lawrence area.
God bless you!
Jessica
crystal said,
January 16, 2006 at 9:53 pm
oh how i miss you!
miss amanda diane said,
January 16, 2006 at 10:58 pm
ok annitta
i miss youuu
please, im begging you, oh have mercy
lets hang out! haha
but seriously. its been waay too long. and i say this everytime i leave a comment, but i really do miss you tons and we really need to hang out
i laave you
James Petticrew said,
January 16, 2006 at 11:01 pm
Someone has shopped you for doing a phoney Scottish accent , TELL ME ITS NOT SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Adam Baker said,
January 17, 2006 at 12:02 pm
Called to love, indeed.
Thanks for this.
Phil Ayres said,
January 17, 2006 at 7:40 pm
you know, you always have the coolest profile pics. How in the world do you do that?
Megan said,
January 17, 2006 at 11:28 pm
Thanks Anne. I’m honored that you would mention me. :)
Kristiapplesauce said,
January 18, 2006 at 10:03 am
So being married for 2.2 years I too have gone through the roller coaster of emotions and of sabotage. Spending time with Megan has allowed me to get past myself and realize that God and Worship is what He has intended for my marriage and until I can get to that point, it is all in vain.
Kristiapplesauce said,
January 18, 2006 at 11:30 am
PEN THIS!!!
amy said,
January 19, 2006 at 2:28 am
Hey anne!
good thoughts! I hope things are going well.
Staci Joy said,
January 19, 2006 at 8:58 am
thanks for your comment Anne… it’s good to be connected :)
Lilia Rivera said,
January 19, 2006 at 10:30 am
Hey I just remembered. Melvin used to tell me all the time and still does occasionally that he felt God had called him to love his grandmother ’cause shed had a very difficult life and he felt the same for me. He would say, I don’t understand but I have soooo much God given love for you.
Debbie said,
January 23, 2006 at 1:51 pm
That’s it. God-given love. I’ve been married for 10 years…and while marriage IS a decision ( you DECIDE to get married) it’s not your decision that you make for you…or your spouse as much as it is your decision to be obedient to God. You remain obedient and He continues to supply this God-given love…
Well said. Good thinking for me.
Thanks.
Debbie