1 down, 41 to go
November 21st, 2006 @ 11:50 am
Hi, I’m Anne. And I’m officially on an anti-depressant. I work at a great church, I am married to the most incredibly patient and loving man, I have some great friends, and I suffer from mild bouts of depression. There. It’s said.
I popped my pill right before eating breakfast this morning. One down, 41 to go. I marked the days on my calendar (perhaps being a wee overdramatic?) and realized that my last day of meds is January 1. Appropriately so. A new year, and hopefully new chemical levels that my body will enjoy.
Thanks for your encouraging words and emails and prayers. I’ve gotten a few emails from people who have been thinking about getting some kind of anti-depressant, so occasionally (maybe weekly), I will post the good, bad and ugly of how Wellbutrin XL is effecting me.
The biggest way depression has effected me in the last couple of years is I have lost my motivation. I used to be extremely movtivated, would love to hang out with friends late into the night, was spontaneous, and lived for the freedoms the weekend brought. Now when my mind isn’t kept busy, I tend to enjoy just being alone - all the time - and feel really sad. And worthless. Sometimes I’d think Chris would be better off not being married to me. Pretty much a selfish pity party I wouldn’t mind wallowing in, but could control when I needed to.
Looking forward to seeing how this will change…
Anxiety/Depression
James Petticrew said,
November 21, 2006 at 12:54 pm
Anne, we are all praying here in Bonaly, I wonder if some of things you are describing are partly about getting older. Our bodies do change as we ‘age’ I am frustrated about how long it is taking me to get back full health.
Crystal Renaud said,
November 21, 2006 at 1:11 pm
it would be great to hear how it goes for you but dear please do not obsess over how it will or if it will affect you… i think you can “work” yourself up into a bigger mess than you want. don’t force a problem. a lot of self-induced drama can occur when you do that. if you allow the meds to do their job without interfering with expectation of problems… then the bad side-effects won’t occur due of anything YOU do or dream up. just my advice as a professed drama queen.
Hale-Yeah! said,
November 21, 2006 at 5:44 pm
DRUG ADDICT!! Ahhhh! I’m deleting you from all my friend’s lists and and and and…
Good deal, let us know how you do, oh, and why is it “XL”?
Jeff M. Miller said,
November 21, 2006 at 6:19 pm
Anne,
Hey, I’ve been down that road myself in the last few years. I understand where you’re at. I volunteer to be a part of an online “support group” for you if need be.
You have my prayers.
candyce said,
November 21, 2006 at 11:28 pm
i
candyce said,
November 21, 2006 at 11:30 pm
ok, that was weird… :)
i meant to say… i *heart* you… may God bless you on this part of your journey…
Mattchews said,
November 22, 2006 at 9:36 am
*Pulls out soapbox, steps up and begins to pontificate*
I read your post and I realized something - of my nuclear family, I am the only one not on some form of mood altering medication. (I don’t know what that says about me or my family).
It sounds strange and in some Christian circles there can be such a stigma around it. I’ve felt the criticism and confusion from people I love. You know as well as any, what I am talking about: “If they love Jesus, why do they need these drugs?”
Well please, Anne Jackson, don’t fall into that crap. With careful monitoring and doctor supervision, this stuff (not wellbutrin by name but similar drugs) has benefited my family far more than so many other things we have experienced. Save for the work Jesus did in our lives,as all of my family are devoted followers of Christ, I can think of little else that has made such a positive impact.
It sounds crazy strange, but this really can make your life so much better and it is my hope that it works for you as well as it has worked for those I love. My father nearly killed himself in a cycle of overanlyzing and worrying about every tiny detail, a definate OCP, (I think you coined the term Over-compulsive personality) his body finally reacted and a series of blood vessells burst in the lining between his brain and skull. He was in the hospital for two months and in rehabilitation for two more. The Lord saw fit to restore my father but the medicine has helped in the practical matters and to help him relax.
All this to say, keep taking the other 41 pills unless something changes. It is trial and error sometimes, but the Lord has allowed us great advances in science and medicine. Not everyone will understand that which you are going through, I don’t even understand fully. However, I feel the Lord has placed you in a time such as this so he can bless you. It is my opinion that to ignore these blessings is foolishness.
*Winces and steps off the soap box*
=/ Sorry for the rant. Good luck in everything. We’re rooting for you.
krisk said,
November 22, 2006 at 9:17 pm
i’m glad we had a chance to talk about this. thank you for your willingness to be real …
Brandi said,
November 25, 2006 at 11:37 am
Hi Anne!
I found your site through Carlos’s, and found it funny that the first post title that caught my eye informed me that you’re taking Wellbutrin XL, the same antidepressant I have been taking for the past couple of years. I wish I could share what it’s done for me (good or bad), but I have no idea. All I know is that sometimes I take it, and sometimes I don’t. And sometimes I’m sad, and sometimes I’m not. (That’s the ADD part of my brain that messes, can’t remember/tell if those times coincide).
Anyway, I wanted to say hello, and commend you for seeking help, and being willing to try the drugs. It took a really long time for me to give in, but I was convinced by seeing their results in so many others…
Hope you had a fabulous Thanksgiving, and I look forward to reading through your posts!
~Brandi