weekend thought…competition
January 20th, 2007 @ 6:07 pm
so here i am, taking care of some freelance in my office, space heater 6″ away from my leg…sipping on some “rooibos sunshine” loose leaf tea. my coworker dalton and i have become addicted to rooibos, and there just happens to be a loose leaf tea shop a few miles from the church which has probably a hundred kinds of loose leaf tea. so we have our little tea station in our communications workroom. i’ll admit, we’ve become tea snobs.
earlier today, as i was getting ready - applying eyeliner or something - one of those thoughts [that you know aren't your own] pops in my head and says, “Why even bother? You know you can’t compete.”
I knew exactly what this statement meant and where it came from. I seem to have my brain locked into this “22 years old is the perfect age” mindset. It probably was one of the best years of my life. And now as I creep ever-so-more up on 30, I realize that superfically, aging is something I’m not looking forward to.
You would never hear me say it aloud, but I am horribly competitive. A few years back, after a fierce game of Uno with the band Chris was in, we all went to eat. We talked about the game and I said something about how “I’m glad I’m not one of those competitive crazy people.” The singer, Steve, normally laid back and not too expressive, smacks his hand down on the table and says, “SWEET JESUS ANNE, YES YOU ARE!”
After Steve’s statement, the fact I had broken many a Super Nintendo controller in my youth, as well as chalking up several technical fouls during my high school basketball career, I realize - yes, I am extremely competitve.
This competitive nature also comes in the form of my appearance. The voice that snuck in unexpectedly today was pushing that competitive button - making me feel there’s no way I can physically compete with the beautiful, early-20 year olds that seem to overflow out of the Rockwall city limits.
Fortunately, a Voice much louder and more important reminded me, “Why do you need to compete, anyway?”
Eh. Good point.
Now if only I can convince myself to believe it…
Authenticity · Weekend Thought...
Los said,
January 20, 2007 at 8:52 pm
Although I have never “met” you, You win the “competition” hands down. Keep being a dusty flower.
Los
Maggie said,
January 20, 2007 at 8:53 pm
You heard was the truth…the Truth, who is Jesus. You won’t have to “convince yourself” to believe him.
He reveals Himself to you regularly in a real way…just like this…how profoundly He spoke so sweetly to you, His dear one. Faith bolstered, believing…both Him, and His freedom message.
Changed…a little at a time. Keep listening…good stuff!
Crystal Renaud said,
January 21, 2007 at 3:07 am
i am not sure i would classify you as competiive as much as just a a highly opinionated girl who loves to be right.
Crystal Renaud said,
January 21, 2007 at 3:07 am
and it is good to know i am not the only one of your friends who smacks their hands on tabletops.
nubby. meat lap.
anne jackson said,
January 21, 2007 at 10:04 am
actually - i am highly both. :) my husband can and will verify. the two are different yes, but not mutually exclusive.
Crystal Renaud said,
January 21, 2007 at 12:01 pm
fair enough.
shari brown said,
January 21, 2007 at 6:57 pm
I am a bit competitive myself. I used to spend a lot of time trying to figure out if this was bad, now I spend more time trying to figure what God has in mind for this competitive nature he has blessed me with.
juli said,
January 21, 2007 at 10:39 pm
as i’m sneaking up on thirty myself, i have to constantly struggle to not think, “my life is practically over”. sometimes i feel like a failure because i’m not super-model skinny (i’m not any kind of skinny), don’t have my phD, not a published author, etc, etc. i have to keep reminding myself that, God willing, i have many more years left to accomplish my goals (even though i want to be perfect NOW!)
krisk said,
January 22, 2007 at 10:06 am
just wait ’til you can barely see 30 in the rear-view mirror! ;-)
Joni Ruhs said,
January 24, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Oh good grief. 40 is the new 30. I’m much smarter at 40. Fatter, but smarter. I like me better now than before. Sounds cliche but its true.