looking for chuck
June 16th, 2007 @ 10:31 pm
have you ever wanted to get your butt kicked? chuck norris is the first person that came to mind when i thought about getting a can opened up on me.
no, i’m not a masochist. but there are some areas in my life (specifically today, fear and lack of faith) where i wish someone would just put me in a room, lock the door, and do whatever it takes in order to purge such things from my daily life.
one memorable butt kicking was when i was 19 and one month away from marrying the wrong guy. my best friend of seven years drove up to dallas from abilene, sat me down, and refused to be my maid of honor because she knew this guy wasn’t “the one.” several hours later, i had faced up to the fact she was right (even though i had known it all along, but was too afraid to call the wedding off). it still took a couple of weeks, but i did call off the relationship. but it literally took a butt kicking for me to allow the walls to fall and for me to do the right (and scary) thing.
the second major butt kicking i had was in 2005. in august, i was hospitalized for what they thought was appendicitis. i was in the hospital about 6 days and on serious painkillers the entire time. the hospital staff weren’t the brightest and didn’t help me wean off the meds, so i went into a minor withdrawal, and resorted to “ER hopping” to get weekly fixes of prescription painkillers; they practically hand them out like candy for any sort of ailment. anyway, chris caught on and one early october morning (2:30 am) physically restrained me from leaving to get more medicine. i enrolled in therapy and took a several week leave of absence from work in order for my body to go through the withdrawal process and become healthy again.
confession
the last couple of weeks, i guess with the down time of being sick and intentionally laying a little lower than normal has caused me to reflect on this area in my life. fear and anxiety have always haunted me since may 6, 2001 - the day i was in a crazy car accident. at times, the fear is debilitating and completely occupies my mind. i know this is hurting many of my relationships, and i totally let it control my life at times.
next week, i’ll be revisiting the site of my wreck (outside oklahoma city, photo below, thanks to this okc friend who snapped this for me last week.) This is the grassy area about 150 feet off the I-35 North where our SUV landed after spinning several times across the highway, and down a small hill. we landed in that fence.
i’ve felt god really nudging me to meet Him at this spot while i’m in OKC next week, and i wonder what will come out of our meeting.
so, i am praying for a good butt kicking. it may not be chuck norris (although, that would be rather humorous), but this fear crap is something i have GOT to get over.
if anyone out there feels like locking me in a room and yelling at me…drop me a note.
Authenticity · Fear · Travels
carole said,
June 16, 2007 at 10:52 pm
I call it “going Gretchen Wilson” on someone-that’s Redneck fighter girl slang for “kickin’ butt”.
michael said,
June 16, 2007 at 10:53 pm
Had my own near fatal crash in OKC July 05. Rolled it, flipped it and was ejected from it onto the highway…skid on my back across the lanes. By grace, I was not run over and made a fast recovery.
My butt kickin from that was God wanted me to be still and listen, and then examine whether my faith made me love people more or less.
BTW..met and had lunch with your friend not too long ago.
Joni said,
June 17, 2007 at 12:09 am
When I let God do the butt-kickin’ in the time continuum he chooses, it goes much better than when I force it on myself. I tend to manufacture healing and short change myself rather than let God be thorough. Does that make any sense at all? Girl I have been in both places. Almost killed myself(unintentionally) at 18 in a drunk driving wreck(I was the drunk). Still dealing with physical pain from it(23 yrs later). Had issues with sedatives before my 1st child was conceived. I feel ya. I hope you’ll be willing to share some of your “meeting notes” with us. Good stuff always comes from these sorts of things.
chris g said,
June 17, 2007 at 6:11 am
im a firm believer that those butt kickings are a part of God growing us up. i have them and always reflect on james 1. prayers sis.
Terry Storch said,
June 17, 2007 at 8:14 am
Oh, the butt kickin’ will come…. I have just found that they never come when I think they should and many times not even from the source I thought they would come from. God tends to have a crazy sense of humor when it comes to putting those right voices/people in my life!
Keep praying….and He will open up a can of you know what!@
jen said,
June 17, 2007 at 11:38 am
….i’m always afraid to talk about the butt kickin’ that god gave me….i think he’ll say, ‘oh, that was no butt kickin’ that was a little slap on the wrist’…….yeah, i have issues with my faith too…..i’ve come to truly believe that our lives are a real process of butt kickin’s, it’s just learning how to endure them that’s the trick……
saralee said,
June 17, 2007 at 6:40 pm
I may be wrong, but I bet you don’t get the butt kickin’ you are expecting. I pray that the peace of God flows over you in that moment and that you will experience your Father’s love and protection. Let us know how it goes!
Crystal Renaud said,
June 17, 2007 at 10:15 pm
i am always ready and willing to kick your butt. Oh but God tends to do a better job of that than anyone… just ask Him.
also, i faced my wreck location last summer. it’s most definitely not easy. terrifying in fact. but it was vital in breaking free of the bondage of anxiety and fear. you are bigger than your anxiety and fear because Christ is in you and He conquered the world, after all.
love you friend.
Gina said,
June 17, 2007 at 11:13 pm
Praying for that time. I cannot imagine what it’s like.
andrewshepherd said,
June 18, 2007 at 7:22 am
i have over 15 wreck locations. hrm.
Mattchews said,
June 18, 2007 at 7:40 am
I don’t want to kick your butt, but if you need a friend to sit in the room with you … I’d do that. Well, if you weren’t married and all that but you get what I am saying.
Got mine kicked yesterday morning. I was part of a group of four who led worship for my place of worship. I’d never done a set up like this before and a set up like this had not been on stage in years so I was pretty anxious. After the set at least 4 groups of people of varying ages and backgronds told me how “good the time was”. Not the music, not the trivial frilly decoration but the time to worship our Father. One guy even commented on how much the time “ministered to him when he really needed it”.
It was a butt kicking, but needless to say this morning, I am on cloud 9.
Blessings my Texan pal!
Bill Cecchini said,
June 18, 2007 at 7:52 am
Genius. Creative. Entertaining. I absolutely love how you write.
As you can see, you’ve got a ton of people on your side (undoubtedly more to come). You’ve also got that other dude on your side. What was his name…did some pretty cool stuff…rose from the dead…worked with wood. Oh yeah, Jesus!
Between us and J, you’ve got one heck of a crew pullin for ya.
Go get ‘em,
Bill
Brandi said,
June 18, 2007 at 2:06 pm
This is undoubtedly going to be one of those things that some would label as “too real” to share, but…well, it hasn’t stopped me yet, haha.
I was physically abused for most of my childhood, so when in adult itimate relationships I was “caught” doing something wrong I often wanted/wished for, even craved being hit by the person who was angry at me. I just knew it was the only thing that would make me feel better about the situation–the only appropriate punishment, if you will. Often I would even provoke it further, and sometimes I would even ask for it (literally).
Psychologically it makes complete sense, doesn’t it? Thankfully I never attracted, nor was I attracted to abusive men–I can’t even imagine what might have happened. Ugh.
Bre said,
June 19, 2007 at 3:43 pm
Ah butt kicking…It’s just a necessary evil of being human. I am with you on the fear thing…especially after a car wreck I had in high school. For some reason, my fears came back with planes. I have not always been afraid to fly but I’ve found that the lack of control freaks me out. (As if I have control in a car)…well I do to a certain point but you know what I mean.
But sounds like you’re “getting back on the horse” by going to that spot again. I hope it goes well! I got back on the horse and flew last year after a 3 year “fear” break.