FlowerDust.net

as i am simplifying my commitments, i thought i’d share some insights i am learning along the way…a weekly installment maybe?

to update to my previous post on all the crazy things i was allowing to dominate my schedule, many of those things have been eliminated. the action i’d like to talk about today is focus.

for me, earlier this year i had no focus. anything that would cross my path that seemed remotely interesting i’d say yes to and slowly but surely my schedule and sanity started getting eaten away. i was working full time, doing freelance web design, graphic design, writing movie reviews, doing a little bit of radio, consulting with a few churches about identity and branding, reviewing books, and prepping for the announcement of mad church disease. PHEW. i saw all these things as good, i mean, i was helping other churches, and even getting to write some. however, just because they fell in line with my passions (the church and writing) didn’t mean they were the right things for me.

so, these are the things i’ve decided to focus on personally:

*my husband - date night is a must

*my job - it’s both provision and where i can do ministry

*writing - not just anything, but working on mad church disease, exploring another book option, and select articles dealing with sexual and emotional purity. blogging too. i love you guys. :)

*speaking - to support the topics i am writing about and be able to interact with people who read my stuff

*freelance - i have limited it to three clients with whom i already work. no more, no less. boundaries and schedules with all three.

*people - with the writing and speaking and blogging comes opportunities to meet people, hang out, get coffee or lunch and chat about stuff. this is one of my favorite parts. we get to share what god is doing in our lives and learn!

so, if some opportunity comes along and doesn’t fit inside those categories, no will typically be the answer. and as time progresses, it is easier to say no. practice with me though, it’s also easier doing it together!

no.
no.
no.
no.
no.

tomorrow at 4:35 pm CDT i’ll be on the air with john & stephanie at 101.5 WORD fm in pittsburgh. we’ll be talking about forgiveness, based on my article “forgiving the unforgivable” (read it here at relevantmagazine.com).

so, all you pittsburghians (is that a word?) tune in!

after moving to dallas in 1996, i became quite fond of lake arlington. there is nothing beautiful about it - it’s small, off the beaten path, and overlooks some kind of factory which is always polluting the already hazy dallas atmosphere. following particularly rough days at school, boy problems, parent problems, or predictable teenage angst, the right bench next to the left dock was my bench, my place to go…to stare out at the lovely factory, watch the ducks fight with one another, or simply be still.

i continued this habit far into my early 20’s until i moved to kansas city. even then, on visits to my parents for the holidays, usually at some point i would make a trip out to the lake.

yesterday, i found myself on that side of the metroplex and decided it had been a while since i had paid tribute to my silent, but always available friend. my bench was free, so after clumsily walking over some big rocks wearing heels, i was able to sit and simply be still.

not very long after i took my place on the bench, a girl who was about ten came wheeling a bike over to the curb next to me, by the dock. she looked at me suspiciously, wondering if i could be trusted not to take her treasured bike. i suppose i passed the test as she wandered off to feed some of the ducks.

i looked at the bike. purple. tassles hanging out of the handlebars. little clip on stars on the spokes. and…training wheels?

the training wheels surprised me. i looked back over my shoulder, wondering if maybe i guessed her age wrong…or maybe she was a giant four year old, but no. easily ten.

training wheels? you’ve got to take them off sometime there, little lady.

after spending much of the previous week soul-searching, i have no doubt that this overly-worried ten year old and her training wheels were parked right in front of me on purpose.

there are areas in my life where i am still riding with my training wheels on. faith? check. trust in god’s plan? check. trust in others? check, check. worrying about the future? check.

i think i have a whole garage full of bicycles with training wheels on them.

the determined and stubborn part of me wants to go and rip them all off. quit taking my sleeping/anxiety/stress medicines which “keep me leveled out.” fight head-on the demons that invade my thoughts and debilitate my soul and my passion. i want to run through there like a crazy ninja-fighter and attack everything that stands in my way of fulfilling my purpose.

however, for whatever reason i can’t seem to fight. and i’m not really sure why. i know i’m tired of these training wheels, but i’m not sure if i’m ready for them to come off yet.

when my husband was on a mission trip in his high school years, the group of guys he was with had the luxury of a communal shower. i believe most high school boys would find this an awkward situation, trying to keep their insecurities hidden by staring very intently at the tile wall in front of them.

the rule of the communal shower was “eyes, straight ahead.” during the course of one of his showers, he heard a noise - a thud. looking down toward his feet, he noticed a bar of soap slide on the floor, right behind his legs. within seconds, a hand - only from the wrist up - grabbed the escaped bar. as quickly as the soap had appeared, it had disappeared.

it doesn’t take a genius to figure out whoever this alleged soap-dropping-person was had to come into pretty close contact with my husband’s then sudsy derriere. now, chris was faced with a life-altering decision.

does he turn around and identify this brave (yet clumsy) person? or does he choose the safe route, eyes unmoving from the innocent tile wall?

he chose the wall.

yesterday while in kansas, i had a woman come up to me and introduce herself. she attends my old church and has been reading my blog. she was awesome and she thanked me for being transparent through this avenue of blogging.

i have to admit, this computer screen in some ways is like the wall at which my husband chose to stare. i am honored that you drop by in some way or another and read these mostly muddled thoughts i toss out into cyberland. but truth be told, it’s a LOT easier typing these things than it is physically talking about them with someone.

i got to spend some time today sharing about my struggles with stress and anxiety - things i have easily blogged about before (feel free to read through the “depression” category)…however, looking someone in the eye and saying, “yeah, this is where i really get hit” didn’t come out quite as elegant, witty, or as anonymous.

honestly, i think i was surprised about how uncomfortable it was talking about these issues in person with a small group of friends as compared to writing it for however many random strangers to read. and as therapeutic as blogging these things has been, and as much as other people have shared the “me too” connection through those posts, there is definitely a huge difference in the amount of difficulty sharing such messy things to real, live-in-front-of-you people as opposed to typing them out for the whole world to see.

all of this rambling to state the obvious: i don’t think blogging or an online community can take the place of real life interaction and sharing. can it compliment it? absolutely. i will talk until i’m blue in the face about the amazing things that can take place online.

but looking someone in the eye after they’ve been up and in your ugly parts is a completely different - and now i realize very essential - dimension.

this is my first official phone-to-blog post. I know I’m a little slow. and my phone automatically converts my lowercase “i” to uppercase. sigh.

anyway, I felt the need to pass on some essential information for both girls and guys regarding road trips and pit stops.

girls: hurry up. nobody at phillips 66 cares what you look like. neither does anyone you pass on the road. get in, get out. there’s a line of I-just-drank-a-lot-of-starbucks-two-hours-ago people waiting on you.

guys: flush. sometimes the sign on the door that says “men” really implies “men OR women who really hafta go and don’t want to wait behind three high school girls on a youth trip”…so some of us aren’t afraid to journey in the land of the splattered floor. please do the few of us brave girls a favor and flush your stuff so we can at least stomach being in there.

this concludes my soapbox. which I might add was also empty in the previously mentioned men’s room.

at lunch today, i was sitting alone at an awkwardly placed table inside an overland park, kansas panera. thinking the free wifi and yummy chicken salad (which is not so readily available in dallas) would be two wonderful lunch-time companions, i plugged in my dad’s laptop (i am laptopless at the moment) and got to email checking and book-writing things.

in my inbox, i have about 58 stories of ministry hurt people have chosen to share with me. i feel so humbled and grateful they are willing to open up such painful wounds. and if you are one of those people, i beg your patience…responding has been more difficult than i ever imagined.

after nibbling a while on my fruit, emailing a couple friends, and starting to chow down on the chicken salad, i felt particularly moved to read a specific email i had recently received. i read it once. twice. googled a few things. and read it a third time.

by the third time through, i could barely manage to swallow the bite that was in my mouth. not only was my heart breaking for the person and the journey he had been on, my stomach was twisted in a big knot because of what had happened within the leadership of this particular staff.

i have been a part of staff where a large moral failure has occured. twice. it is not pretty. however, i think we are often blinded to the fact that stuff like this happens all the time without going noticed. pastors who preach from the stage wisdom and purity are doing things i don’t feel comfortable writing about. and if you’ve been here a while, you know i’ll pretty much talk about anything.

my sin is no more or less pretty than the next guy. there are dark recesses in my mind, and in my heart. but as a christian, a wife, and in leadership at a church, i know these places are there and i do my darndest to not dwell on them, to talk about them with my husband and a couple of close friends. i certainly don’t play in the muck and call it fun.

more and more as i read these stories, i realize how many church leaders do think it’s all fun and games what they do behind closed doors. they become pastors because they want a power trip and abuse the freedom they have in their lives and in their churches. they bring other leaders down with them to those places.

they aren’t the ones taking the mad church disease surveys (or if they are, they aren’t being honest), but it is their coworkers who see it what is happening, or experience it directly then either leave because of it or stay and don’t say anything because of the ramifications of accountability.

there is a very dark underbelly to many churches - churches you know of and read about and probably even comment on the staff blogs - that are going through the motions while living in deep, real sin.

i shouldn’t be surprised, but today i literally felt ill about this. it is unspeakably sad, and the truth always comes to the light, so i feel badly for the congregations who will one day discover things they could never imagine happening within their church walls.

please pray for me as i continue to read these stories, especially the hard ones like this. please pray for the people who know things they wish they didn’t, and who are doing things they shouldn’t be doing.

i realized today more than ever that whatever mad church disease turns ends up being, it cannot simply be a trendy book with good principles and advice. there is so much more going on, and i pray that we have the courage to bring about change to the war which is happening literally each and every day.

for me, it was a bathroom stall tonight.

obviously, i won’t explain too much about that part, as a sentence like that needs no explanation.

after drinking far too much diet coke and raspberry tea, i journey off to the ladies’ room. as i am in the previously mentioned stall, i hear the door open, and slam…then the open, and slam…in the stall next to me.

i am thinking…either someone is really drunk, or someone is really upset. i depart my stall and start to wash my hands. my new neighboring stall friend comes out of hers, after blowing her nose. i do a discreet once-over in the mirror to see what we’re dealing with.

both drunk and upset. hmmm….i ponder if i should say anything.

the thinking didn’t last very long. she leans into the mirror, wiping her eyes and lets out a long and heavy sigh. i slowly ask her if she’s okay while i dry my hands. she stops, takes a look at me and says,

“i can’t believe how wasted i look! this is just so (deep breath) sad!”

she really didn’t look too bad, and i tell her.

“seriously? i mean look, look at my eyes and my make up. it’s %#@* everywhere!”

really. you look fine. cute shirt.

(sniffs, wipes nose on arm)

“i just can’t believe i got wasted at an applebee’s…*&^@!..but thank (hiccup) you.”

i hold the door open for her, smile. she smiles back.

hopefully something in that interaction was helpful. it’s funny who crosses your path sometimes.

i’ll be honest. it’s been really hard for me to think of our upcoming vacation as such. most years, we go to california. at least once. last year, we went on a long mission trip to scotland, which, although wasn’t a vacation, was one of the most incredible experiences of my life.

this year, we save money. this year, is the year of paying down debt.

today, we leave for… kansas city.

yes, we have friends in kc. yes, we have family in kc. but it seems like my travel bug is not satisfied by staying on I-35 all year ’round. and quite honestly as a place, i really don’t like kc very much. there’s not much to do.

then again, maybe that’s what i need.

however, i am also trying to change my thinking…at least we can afford to drive to kc. we’ll be seeing friends on the way in oklahoma. we have a place to stay for free. i have no commitments while i’m there except a really fun concert & after party where we will see other friends. chris’ mom is an excellent cook. she often makes cookies while we’re there. and i hope she reads this before we arrive so she will make such cookies…

it’s not LA. it’s not San Diego. it’s not Edinburgh. but we have both of our iPods charged & ready for the trip. i get to spend hours alone with my husband (and that never happens) just talking or reading or listening to music while enjoying the cows and the horseshoeing schools and the never-ending kansas turnpike.

so…i am thankful.

where’s your favorite place to vacation?

I’ll be on Power Talk Live tonight discussing burnout at 9:00 pm CDT on 89.7 PowerFm here in Dallas.

Power Talk Live is a weekly show which addresses tough issues. You can listen live from anywhere by going to 897powerfm.com or if you live in the DFW area or South Oklahoma, you can pick it up on 89.7 FM.

Usually they do a call in segment so if you want to call in, you can call 214 (or 817) 787-1897 or if you are out of the DFW area, 1-866-787-1897.

I’ll also post the mp3 as soon as I get it back from them. Hope you can tune in! If not, I’d love your prayers!

I guess H.I.P.A.A. doesn’t work on presidents. :)

in the last couple of months, i have gotten to know that a local dallas pastor is currently unemployed and looking for a place to serve. he has a family to take care of, and a couple of pretty expensive medicines to keep in stock. they had only planned on being without work for around three months, and next month marks that goal, so i am assuming that the money they had set aside is starting to disappear, especially with the texas summer heat finally kicking in.

at work, we use a great t-shirt vendor, and i thought, “hmmm…who do i know that is better at BEING the church than anyone else?”

i instantly thought of you guys. you helped chris and i pay to get our car fixed (she is still running like a dream). you helped matt and 100 other people go to mexico on mission. you helped crystal go to south africa on mission. you helped us go to scotland on mission.

so, it is my honor to present to you the below t-shirt. it is simple. and so should being the church.

after the cost of printing/shipping, give or take, the profit from each shirt will be around $10. (*they’re $15 + s/h). i want to give every one of those dollars to this pastor and his family on august 5. i happen to know he is filling in and teaching for his pastor on this sunday and was planning on driving down to his neck of the woods and think it would be a huge blessing to him, his wife, and son. i know they’ve been hurt by so many people in the church before, that this would be literally a monumental moment of restoration.

here’s how it works. buy a shirt (or two, or however many it will let you) below. i will stop taking orders on august 3 and give the orders to our vendor on august 6. usually it takes about a week for him to print them, and then i’ll end up mailing them out to you guys around august 13. i’ll write a check to the pastor and drive it down to the church he will be preaching at on sunday, august 5. you can use paypal or any major credit/check card.

feel free to spread the word about this too. i really want to knock the socks off this pastor and his family. *BTW, some of you may know of whom I speak…please do not mention their names, suggest anything below, or talk to them about this. Thanks.

(Shirt orders are over - but if you would like to donate to this family please send your donation to my PayPal Account - girlnamedanne@gmail.com!)

 

especially books written by my friend eric bryant. i’ve known eric for the last few years - back in the xanga days of 2004 even - but have never met him in person.

anyway, this summer he released a phenomenal book titled, “peppermint-filled piñatas: breaking through tolerance and embracing love“ which if you have ever stepped one foot in mosaic LA, where he serves as a navigator, you are immediately embraced by such a sense of acceptance and love. then you get to know more and more people there, and see what they’re doing in the community, and in mexico, and in the world and you know this isn’t just some attempt to write a book - eric is living this.

fortunately, they are shipping eric all the way down to the lone star state on monday (as well as some other places) and i will be taking off as soon as i can from my little third-floor office to trek to fort worth to finally meet eric. check out the dates below and if he’s going to be near you (fort worth’s a couple hours away with traffic so no excuses! if i can drive a little, so can you), go meet him, support him, and bring him some chocolate chip cookies.

i don’t even know if he likes them, but it’d be a nice gesture. and if he didn’t, you could always eat them instead.

July 20 - Alburquerque, NM - City on a Hill Church - 7pm Discussion and Book Signing | http://CityOnAHillabq.org/

July 22 - Houston, TX - Ecclesia Church, 10:30am and 5:30pm - www.EcclesiaHouston.org

July 23 - Fort Worth, TX - Barnes & Noble Bookstore Discussion and Book Signing at 7pm (1612 S. University Dr. #401, Fort Worth, TX 76107)

July 25 - Waco, TX - Mardel’s Bookstore Discussion & Signing at 4pm (4324 West Waco Drive, Waco, TX 76710 PH: 254-399-9237)

July 26 - Austin, TX - Mosaic Austin, 7:30pm Discussion and Book Signing + Music from Rob Lowe of Balmorhea | http://www.MosaicAustin.org/

July 28 - San Antonio, TX - Wayside Chapel, 6pm | http://WaysideChapel.org/

July 29 - San Antonio, TX - Wayside Chapel, 9:15am and 11am | http://WaysideChapel.org/

July 31 - Phoenix, AZ - North Phoenix Baptist Church (event details & registration here)

August 2 - Cleveland, OH - Cuyahoga Valley Church, 7-8:30pm | www.CuyahogaValleyChurch.com | event sponsored by Church of the Hills

So, today Chris hands me a postcard he gets for some media/tech conference. I read through it…blah blah blah…then on the “who should attend” it lists:

-Pastors, Senior Pastors, Executive Pastors
-Facilities Manager, Operations Managers
-Technical Directors, Media Ministers, Tech Staff
-Business Administrators & Building Committee Members
-Lay leaders, Church staff, and Volunteers
-Architects, Design Firms & Installation Professionals
-Professionals in the Worship Market

Besides the obvious fact of “EVERYONE” that was completely overstated, what in the world is the “worship market?”

Someone, please enlighten me.

i hope you don’t mind, but i am using some of the comments from the “i like michael moore” post to make some parallels on this one. it is not my intent to misuse these quoted words, but to discover how michael moore and the church are similar.

Bobby says:

I think the question for Michael Moore is the real, underlying motivation for his passion. What change is he trying to initiate? What is he trying to accomplish?

Michael says:

like many pharisees or unbelievers, he brings an element of truth to what he says but you have to get through the propaganda to hear it. we just need to be wise in what we let in and wise in not disregarding what we don’t like.

good subject even though he distorts the truth for his causes.

Tony says:

I do have a tough time w/ the spin he puts on things. But, it’s politics, everyone spins - there’s no “truth”.

And Leslie says:

dare I say that the American church has it’s own bit of propaganda and agenda in the public arena, too. But don’t take my word for it…I’m just a little jaded.

Leslie pretty much asks my next question. Yes, Michael Moore is biased, he spins the truth, embellishes, exaggerates and takes things out of context.

How often does the Church do the same thing? One of my favorite people wrote about Cheap Grace…I have seen my share of churhes preach that. And there are so many things that are easy for churches to sell but I think we all can agree the Bible is full of things that go against human nature, what comes naturally:

In order to live, we must die?
In order to be great, we must be least?
The meek will inherit the earth?
We must seek sorrow without despair?
We must love our enemies?

I am not being a killjoy. Through those things we learn joy. We find joy - A joy that is beyond our human nature. And I am not opposed to happy pastors and authors, but there are far too many of those pretty white teeth on our bookshelves. We are not fulfilling our purpose and calling by only telling one side of the story. In fact, I think as Michael Moore does a disservice to those who buy into his philosophies, we often do a disservice to everyone - Christ followers, or not - by not presenting all of the truth, or taking it out of context in order to meet everyone’s “felt needs.”

Some notes I had earlier written on Colson’s book, Being the Body:

Since when is the gospel of christ comfortable? Since when is confronting sin comfortable? Grace is all encompassing and forgiveness covers all sin, as well as the fact we serve and worship a loving God, but the truth is God cannot stand to look at us if it weren’t for the cross.

Has the Church put a spin on these essential truths because we’re afraid we’ll scare people away?

before the political comments start, let me go ahead and thwart them by saying i don’t necessarily agree with mikey’s views on a lot of things. i did see sicko, i did enjoy it, and actually do agree with most of which he conveys in that documentary.

anyway, i am not here to argue healthcare. i am here to restate my title: i like michael moore.

why do i like him?

because he is passionate. he is persistent. and he is intolerant. he stands up for what he believes in and doesn’t let people with other opinions stop him from pursuing change. yes, he lacks tact and grace, but we all have our flaws.

i think the church could learn from michael moore. too often, we sit back. we are passive. we give up. we tolerantly accept culture and in extreme cases, bow to it. we talk about the things we believe in, but we don’t act on it enough. oh, and often, we lack tact and grace. (i know i do).

people with unwavering passion challenge my contentedness. they move me to action. they stir my spirit. people like michael moore make me realize that i have been inactive for far too long.

if you’re reading this, you’ve been prayed for.

granted, i don’t know everyone who reads this blog by name. those of you i do, i’ve prayed for you. those of you i don’t, i’ve prayed for you, too.

every once in a while i have a really hard time sleeping so for the last hour or so, i really felt like i should lift you up in prayer.

some of you i know are going through really tough times - marriage stuff, health stuff, church staff stuff, upcoming mission trips, already on mission trips, family problems, depression problems, money problems, loneliness, work stress, transitions in life, your kids, your friends…those are just a few specific things that have been lifted up.

insomnia’s not always a bad thing i guess. i hope you all have a splendid tuesday.

This will be my last “Fat Ragamuffin” update (I hope!)

If you are new here, you are probably thinking, “Now, what the heck is a Fat Ragamuffin? Sounds tasty though…” A few months ago, I really wanted to get into shape. So did my friend Los. And a bunch of other people (listled on his blog). We were supposed to post our weight weekly for a certain amount of time.

You can click the “Fat Ragamuffin” category link and see how I progressed but I am proud to report I have consistently (that is the key word!) maintained my goal weight (140ish) for the last two months and plan on keeping it that way. So, Mr. Ragamuffin Soul, I ask that I graduate from your FR class blogroll. Please send me a diploma.

Below is the progress…it takes time!! It takes effort!! And it will continue to do so.

9/4/06=167
1/1/07=162
1/8/07=159
1/15/07=158
1/22/07=156
1/31/07=154
2/6/07=152
2/13/07=150
2/27/07=149
3/7/07=146
5/27/07=142
6/27/07=138
7/16/07=135
9/4/07=130
10/7/07=130
2/28/08=130 (going strong!)

Thank you, and good night.

90%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

[ht: moviepastor]

You?

i haven’t written about sex on here in a long time. with some recent comments on my post, an emotional affair, and some emails resulting from that topic i thought now might be a good time.

the title of this post is true. 100%. i could cheat on my husband. i remember a couple of years ago, hanging out at my old church talking with one of my friends. i don’t know how we got on the subject but we started talking about infidelity and how nobody is immune from it.

she said, “i could cheat on my husband. no doubt. i totally could.”

her inital candidness surprised me at first, but within moments i realized how right she was. two of our staff members had fallen into the trap of an affair, several of our key volunteers had as well, all within a year. i remember everyone’s reaction who learned of the affairs:

“never in a million years would i have thought…”

exactly. and let me tell you, i keep in touch with some of these people who were involved in the affairs, and they say the exact same thing:

“never in a million years would i have thought…”

i love my husband. i adore him. he is the most generous and patient person in the world. and never in a million years would i think i could cheat on him.

but it’s that mindset of letting your guard down where satan would love to throw you in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong person and then before you know it…

you are the one who is looking in the mirror wondering how in the world you could have done it.

you are the one who is crumpled on the floor like a big ball of goo, weaping your entire being out in a deluge of tears and pain.

it could happen to me.

it could happen to you.

what are you doing to make sure it doesn’t?

craig over at lifechurch.tv’s swerve blog has been talking about mentoring. yesterday in the comments, we started discussing if mentoring can occur online.

what do you think?

grace is not my middle name, and i mean that both literally and figuratively.

literally, i trip over myself or run into something at least five times a day. this makes for unsightly bruising and honestly, the occassional swear word may or may not slip out, depending on the severity of the blow. our coffee table is made of stone and has sharp iron edges. it does not feel good on the side of a bony knee.

figuratively, giving grace out is something very difficult for me. i have the worst tail-gating, excuse-me, did-you-just-cut-me-off driving temper. i’m still in that “everything is black and white” mindset and although there are just a few things that really get under my skin, when one of those things is provoked, my heart turns a wicked shade of puke green and tightens up into a mean little offended ball, pumping all the blood to my brain, where thoughts [of jealousy, pride, anger] stew and boil much like the second witch describes in shakespeare’s macbeth:

Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork and blind-worm’s sting,
Lizard’s leg and owlet’s wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

pretty, isn’t it?

i have been extended grace in so many ways by so many people. in my earlier blogging years, when i was even more idealistic and black and white than i am now, i made some extremely “passioniate” comments on other peoples’ blogs. fortunately, most of these people still talk to me; some even going beyond that and dare i say - befriending me?

marie is my middle name. i researched the origin of it and evidently the closest theory they can find for the meaning is “sea of bitterness” which actually seems more fitting to my current struggle. however, i also just researched the meaning of my first name, anne, which happens to be a french version of hannah, which means “grace.”

doh. it looks like i need to resolve my dual personalities…

First of all, thank you to everyone who has helped promote Mad Church Disease. I think we will cross the 1000 survey mark before tomorrow and it has only been a week since the site launched. This could NOT have been done without you.

Anyway, I just finished my first outline for the book as part of the proposal going to some publishers. Before I finalize it, I want to make sure I’m not leaving out anything…as I’ve mentioned before - this isn’t just a book that I’m writing about what I think…I want to make sure that it is meeting as many needs…that I am searching for as many answers…as possible.

So, if you have any thoughts on what you’d like to see in the book, now is your time!

Let me know in the comments on the Mad Church Disease blog.

Also…this would be a great opportunity to solicit feedback from YOUR readers. Many of them have completed surveys but I don’t want their participation to end there. If you feel so inclined, please take this time to email them, or to blog about this, and point them to the MCD blog as I’d love for them to continue contributing to the content of the book as well.

I’m closing comments on this particular post in order to keep all the feedback on this topic over at the Mad Church Disease blog. I’ll see you over there — and remember — there are no stupid ideas!!

If you are really thinking about something, ask!

i love being an adult. it means that as i am toasting my turkey sandwich in our toaster oven, i can eat my ben & jerry’s first.

Main Entry: Summer
Part of Speech: Noun
Definition: Season
Synonyms: Watermelon. Cookouts. Camps. Fireworks. Plummeting Offerings. Low Attendance.
Source: American Church Innovativeâ„¢ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.0)

Growing up a PK, I remember my dad “saving up” for the summer months, knowing we’d have 1/2 to 2/3 of our normal attendance, and even a smaller percentage of those people giving. Bills still had to be paid. He still had to be paid. We still had to eat.

Fast forward to now. Four years in full time church-staff ministry. Like clockwork, attendance declines. Budgets are put on spending Red Alerts. And every year we try to develop a solution to break out of the logical and predictible facts of church life.

Last night, I had some time to drive around one of my favorite parts of Dallas while waiting to pick up a friend from the airport. The houses, artistically designed, beautifully landscaped. My old Pontiac, sandwiched by two new Mercedes as we crawled down the narrow but heavily traveled Mockingbird Lane at 20 mph.

I saw two ladies crossing the street, deeply involved in conversation. Did they go to church anywhere? Did they miss the music and the message on Sunday? Maybe they were the church, wearing work out clothes with messy hair. They were sharing life with each other, it was obvious.

A million different scenarios played out in my mind as I watched them while I was stopped at a red light. They could be the church right now. But they aren’t ending up on any attendance record.

I’m sure like many other churches out there, weekly - maybe monthly - those of you who are on staff get to hear the “numbers”…This year…Last year…What was the weather like? How come more people aren’t coming? Oh, holiday weekend. Or maybe everyone was on the lake.

7:30 pm rolls around, and I pick up my friend from the airport. We head out and meet up with my friend Andrew. We go into a local tattoo parlor, where she gets her nose pierced. We hang out with a big tattoo artist named Dutch and laugh with him as he’s made another tattoo artist scream in pain (evidently on purpose) while getting some coloring done. Then we go across the street to a greasy-but-so-delicious sports bar for some late night fat intake. We talk about roommates, husbands, Kansas, New York, Texas, corn allergies.

We were the church, but unless Snuffer’s takes a secret count for the different churches we attend, we didn’t end up on any attendance sheet.

I realize this has become quite a lengthy post, and that I am constantly breaking my own blogging rules of brevity. But this time, I do it unapologetically so.

As the events of last night blurred together when I feel asleep (far later than I should have) and as I reflect on them collectively now, I realize that although not a bad thing, measuring weekly church attendance isn’t really a fair representation of truth.

You can measure how many people breeze in and out of your doors at specfic times on the weekend. You can count up the tear-off cards and find out how many of them are “first time visitors” to your church. And sure, maybe it will help you see if you are being “successful” numerically.

But how can you really define that term “success?” When really what is more important than how many seats you have filled up on Sunday is what is going on OUTSIDE of your doors on a rainy Thursday night, much like last night.

Where is your church then? Working late? Fighting? Loving? Serving? Being Christ to the World?

Keeping track of your numbers on the weekend is a great tool for measuring. I guess I’m just not quite sure what we’re measuring.

Since announcing mad church disease, I’ve gotten a little more email than i normally would with people sharing their stories more indepthly, or sharing their thoughts on the book. It has been great to meet a lot of new people and if you have emailed me in the last couple of weeks and have not received a reply - I’m working on it - i promise!

Gmail actually locked me out from sending email earlier this week since i had emailed my entire address book of 566 people. evidently that makes me a spammer so they put your account on hold! anyway i have 12 emails remaining to respond to…and i thank you for waiting as i will write back.

however, after responding to some earlier emails, I’ve received a couple of replies like this back:

Wow…I have to say I did not expect a response.

i must say i am a little shocked to get a message from you.

Now, this goes back to my soapbox on “three reasons i’ll ditch your feed” and “three reasons i’ll fancy your feed” - INTERACTION.

while i may not respond to EVERY comment on this blog, I do try and respond to people who are new, or have a question, or been generous in their time and shared something with me. Please don’t misread this as my attempt to claim some nonexistent blogging bragging right, but a little something I’d like to call COMMON SENSE.

When I spoke further with one of the people who said one of the comments above, he said:

…I personally can’t stand it when people do not respond to me…

Dude, I feel the same way. That is why I try (keyword: try) to do something different.

I really think it’s a priority thing, and that’s okay. Some people have way more to worry about than blogging or responding. Maybe I’m lucky that I just have a full time job, a family, friends, and some side projects and nothing too crazy going on. But in all honesty, the people who read, comment and respond to things on my blog - you guys rock my world and I try (unsuccessfully at times) to not be just another virtual person…

As ridiculously cheesy as it sounds, I love our relationships and our interaction. It really is very important to me. I know I feel valued when someone replies back to a comment I’ve made or an email I’ve sent.

So - what do you think? Are you “shocked” when someone responds to something you’ve said on a blog or on email? Do you expect it?