envelopeaphobia
July 3rd, 2007 @ 12:58 pm
today, as i do around the first part of every month, i send out invoices to my freelance clients. licking envelopes is not part of my daily routine. and every time i do lick one, i think of the seinfeld episode, “the invitations,” where susan dies from licking all those cheap envelopes.
Doctor: Excuse me , Are you the husband?
George: Well , not yet.. Fiancé.
Doctor: Well , I’m sorry…..She’s gone.
George: ………What’s that?…
Doctor: She expired.
George: …Are you sure?
Doctor: Yes , of course.
George: So…..She’s dead?
Doctor: Yes
George: …Huh!
Doctor: Let me ask you ; Had she been exposed to any kind of inexpensive glue?
George: …Why?
Doctor: We found traces of a certain toxic adhesive commonly found in very low priced envelopes.
George: Well she was sending out our wedding invitations.
Doctor: That’s probably what did it.
George: We were expecting about two hundred people…Well…Thank you , thank you.
Fear · WHAT?!
TD said,
July 3, 2007 at 1:10 pm
so you use better glue, right?
Anne Jackson said,
July 3, 2007 at 1:11 pm
i hope so.
Crystal Renaud said,
July 3, 2007 at 1:33 pm
that episode made me cry.
joshua longbrake said,
July 3, 2007 at 2:07 pm
i felt sort of bad, but i was never so happy when a television character died. just sort of bad, though. not entirely.
sorry Heidi Swedberg. no hard feelings.
rachel from the blog said,
July 3, 2007 at 3:25 pm
Anne, I don’t want to add gas to the fires of fear…but this post makes me laugh and it reminds me of this guy I met once…he was a corporate designer so he toured different facilities all the time. One of his jobs was at a factory where they make the envelope glue and he said that he had never seen so many flies in his WHOLE LIFE. Apparently the vats that they mix the glue in are surrounded/filled with flies. So, I don’t think of death when I like an envelope, I like of tiny little fly legs;)
rachel from the blog said,
July 3, 2007 at 3:27 pm
oops! typed and posted too quickly… the last phrase should have been…”So, I don’t think of death when I lick an envelope, I think of tiny little fly legs;)”
Jon said,
July 3, 2007 at 3:46 pm
My wife told me about a story from one of her coworkers. A friend was licking an envelope and got a small cut on her tongue. It didn’t heal well, and after a while, it started to puff up. When she went to the doctor, they found that there had been roach eggs on the envelope and they had gotten in the cut and had either been growing or just caused infection (she said growing, but that’s just crazy)!
Totally grossed the lady out. They cut it out and removed the infection.
I wouldn’t believe it either. But it comes from a trustworthy source. :)
Anne Jackson said,
July 3, 2007 at 4:01 pm
…not….feeling….well…….
robin said,
July 3, 2007 at 5:51 pm
Seinfeld references? We are going to be friends for life. =)
Scott said,
July 3, 2007 at 6:49 pm
And so began the “Summer of George.” Foggy on the details, but I remember it included eating hunks of cheese…
John Carlson said,
July 3, 2007 at 9:28 pm
There’s always the newer self stick envelopes?
just a girl said,
July 3, 2007 at 9:55 pm
jon: i’m pretty sure its an urban legend…. i definitely think you should trust your wife, but ya might wanna check up on that coworker! :)
Vanessa said,
July 3, 2007 at 11:27 pm
Seinfield is hilarious! I like that episode, and I also think about it EVERY TIME :)
tony said,
July 4, 2007 at 10:12 am
“She expired…”
“Are you sure?”
Comedy gold.
Krysta said,
July 4, 2007 at 1:19 pm
after reading everyone’s stories, i’d suggest getting a sponge, wetting it down and sealing the envelopes that way. now if you’ll excuse me, i need to go make sure there isn’t anything growing in my tongue.
Mom said,
July 4, 2007 at 4:49 pm
Annie, I agree with John–invest in some self-sticking envelopes. Well worth the few extra pennies:)
Shaula said,
July 5, 2007 at 9:57 am
Everything in life relates back to Seinfeld. Awesome show!