a week of deadly vipers: boom chicka wah wah
November 2nd, 2007 @ 5:05 am
let’s set the mood.
dim the lights. light those overly-scented vanilla candles. cue some marvin gaye.
boom chicka wah wah.
it’s time for a little friday love.
now, i don’t know about you, but if there is one area in my life i could rewind it would be my love life. i was about to say sex life, but that wouldn’t necessarily be true.
the assassin of boom chicka wah wah isn’t really about sex, per se.
to quote the greats,
“One of the things we’ve discovered as we reflect on conversations with thousands of people about sex is that sexual missteps are rarely about sex. They’re really about our desire for a deep, meaningful, and powerful connection with someone…Dodging the Boom Chicka Wah Wah assassin isn’t really about dodging sex, then. It’s about nurturing the right relationships.”
about a year and a half ago, i shared my story of pornography addiction. part of that journey was me realizing that one of the driving factors of my addiction was my lack of real, human connection. it was the same disconnect that i medicated by becoming physically involved with more people than i care to admit in my late teens and early twenties.
there was a big, fat emptiness inside my heart that i thought only true love could fill.
not so, grasshopper.
even after being happily married to the greatest guy on earth there are times when my heart still feels that emptiness. and i know if i am not careful, i could screw it all up.
why? because i’m human. and so are you.
“Sexuality is powerful and mysterious. It is not quite tame in any of us. We must honestly respect its influence in our lives.”
maybe you’re dealing with the regrets of your past. maybe there’s something in your life now that you know isn’t what god’s intended for you sexually. or maybe you’re in a good spot right now.
do you have a plan?
a plan to deal with the past…like…accepting grace.
a plan to deal with the now…like…accepting grace.
a plan to protect the future…like…accepting grace.
it doesn’t matter where you’re at. you need his grace. and he is ready to pour it over you. he is ready to pour his grace all over your past memories, your current shame, and your future plans.
why?
because he loves you.
he really, really loves you.
so…do you have a plan?
Related posts:
Deadly Viper
Jamie said,
November 2, 2007 at 9:24 am
I got the deadly viper book at Catalyst and I’m looking forward to reading it. I haven’t had a chance to start it yet but have been cheating by reading you post and it just makes me want to put down the other 3 books I’m reading and start it now.
Phil Thompson said,
November 2, 2007 at 9:39 am
Your openness and honesty are helping a lot of people walk with God, including me, thanks for posting!
David said,
November 2, 2007 at 9:47 am
Awesome post! I am going to have to check out this book.
I have a lifetime of “indiscretion†(as I like to call it) that I tried and tried to erase on my own. It has taken a God-sized eraser to do it and even though I know He has forgiven me, cast my sin beyond even His reach and it no longer exists to Him, I still find myself thinking about it from time to time. The more I look behind me, the more obstacles I find I trip over moving forward. If I keep moving forward with my eyes on Him, I find I avoid the enemy’s attacks, Matrix-style.
Keep up the good work. God bless.
Anne Jackson said,
November 2, 2007 at 9:51 am
Jamie…the book just rocks. It’s a quick but very challenging and inspiring read.
Phil…thanks!
David…you are so right. Learning from the past is one thing; dwelling in it’s another. I’ve slooowwwllly learned to distinguish between the two. But it’s hard sometimes. Thanks for the comment!
Lory said,
November 2, 2007 at 9:52 am
thanks. i needed that after a week of messing up…my friends haven’t thrown any stones (and i am more thankful than they know) but i have been throwing the stones straight up in the air…they do as much damage hitting from above as they do from in front. thanks for reminding me that grace has to be accepted!
Jud Wilhite said,
November 2, 2007 at 10:46 am
You rock Anne! I’m challenged and inspired by these posts and your authenticity. Plus the fact that you have the word grace tatooed on your wrist is about the coolest thing I’ve ever heard of. Yesterday I learned of another friend who has been sliced and diced by the Assassin of Boom Chicka Wah Wah. It just reminded me again that we all have baggage and we are all susceptible. We all need grace. Thanks for putting the character conversation right out there. It is so important for all of us. And thanks for supporting Deadly Viper.
Kenyon said,
November 2, 2007 at 10:58 am
Ok…so I just read your personal testimony regarding porn and I find alot of my own journey in that. So of course, again, I appreciate your words of advice in this regard, but I need more help on this. Would you be willing to share specifically how grace has helped you come up with a plan particularly for today and tomorrow? I know we each have to make decisions and we all have to find that motiviation through grace and I know what mine is, but I would really like to hear more about what others do specifically, if possible. Thanks.
Roger said,
November 2, 2007 at 11:04 am
I know that this is totally off base but the title of this post reminded me of a terrible but funny joke that Stephen Cole told at the end of last week’s experience at the OKC campus, and I thought you would enjoy it. You have to say it out loud to get it and put some inflection like a guitar in the punch line.
What are the dirtiest animals in the barnyard?
brown chicken, brown cow
sorry I know it is terrible but fits right in with your title
Jonathan Brink said,
November 2, 2007 at 12:28 pm
Oprah once had eight men on the show who had committed adultery. They all said the same thing about the affair, “She appreciated me.” Well said Anne. It’s about love, not just sex.
Girl Gone Wild said,
November 2, 2007 at 3:06 pm
My husband and I have always tried to be pretty honest with each other on the cheating side of things. We always approach it head and heart on…it’s do-able so keep the proper boundaries in check.
On a sidenote, Wed. night I had a dream that I was trying to run from about 8 different tornadoes and at one point I was running through a house trying to push through a door then noticed I had a tat just below my right elbow pit….2 Chinese symbols meaning Grace. In my dream I literally shook my head and said, “That’s from Anne” and took off running….
michael said,
November 2, 2007 at 3:27 pm
good topic…what about flirting anne? do you think this is, in smaller scale, the same “need” that leads to infidelity and other inappropriate relationships? and how often does it lead to sexual/emotional sin?
our instant communications (mobiles, im, email, chat rooms, smileycons) have opened up a world of secret communication that has no accountability among spouses. it’s dangerous.
i guess it is going to come down to intimacy and communication…where there is fear and barriers, we’ll seek those audibly and emotionally from others.
Anne Jackson said,
November 2, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Kenyon…great questions…anyone have any thoughts?
For me, it’s attempting an ever present relationship with Christ. Realizing that I need him, trusting his truth that he will always be with us - we will not be tempted beyond what we can handle (through Him)…and that in our weakness He is made strong…those are promises from Scripture we can count on.
Michael…I do think that flirting definitely shows a romantic interest. Now, if you shouldn’t be having a romantic interest other than someone you are committed to…I wouldn’t think flirting is the best idea.
Our worlds CAN be secret if we allow them to be. For Chris and me, we each have access to each others’ email accounts, IMs (they are all logged), MySpaces, Facebook, phone/data use, whatever…and we can get on each others’ computers too.
Does that mean I can’t have a secret account? No, I totally could. But that would be a really bad call on my part. Does this mean we stalk each other and don’t trust each other? No…in fact I don’t think we frequently log in to each other’s accounts…but just knowing he is open to share his stuff and I am open to share mine…it’s all about allowing ourselves to be open with those we should be open with.
Rusty said,
November 2, 2007 at 6:16 pm
I read your blog every day, but this one was off the charts, or as my mentor says, off, off the charts. I have always enjoyed your writing, but anyone that include boom chicka wha wha in their blog has to be at the top of my must read list. Sorry this isnt a deep reply, but hey life is short, and we must enjoy it.
andrew said,
November 2, 2007 at 8:04 pm
brown chicken
brown cow
Jason Curlee said,
November 2, 2007 at 9:38 pm
Wow…you rock anne…having a plan for your past, now, and future is so important…great inspiration
Los said,
November 2, 2007 at 11:22 pm
Quite Simply…
Wax On Wax Off should be left to one person.
Anna said,
November 3, 2007 at 1:04 am
Thanks for sharing this, Anne.
Man, I struggle with accepting God’s grace… I fall into the trap of thinking I’m strong enough to not need it… how self-important is that!?
Sometimes I feel the burden, believe the lies that love, or that deep connection you talked about, will never happen for me… so I guess my “plan” is to walk in truth, stop believing the lies and trust that God knows what he’s doing with me…
Thanks for the reminder…
Bunnygirl said,
November 4, 2007 at 6:58 am
Once again, a timely post. Hitting me where it hurts, so to speak. I think I need to get that Grace tattoo. I still have a problem understanding grace. Its because the supposedly superior being in me wants to believe I don’t need Jesus Grace and love and I so do. Thanks for sharing that.