Anne Jackson is a blog extrovert but an introvert in person. She loves God, her husband, people, the church, travel, tornadoes, and writing. She serves on staff at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN, and is the author of Mad Church Disease (Zondervan 2009). Which, by the way, you should follow on Squidoo.
She recently returned from a blogging trip to Uganda with Compassion International. For the first time ever, fifteen bloggers journeyed thousands of miles to make a difference in children's lives. Read about the trip and meet all the bloggers who went!
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what is something you feel you can’t say in church, or around other christians?
for example…mine would be, “i suck at reading my bible.”
funny, serious, whatever…what’s yours?
By Kristiapplesauce on May 5, 2008 | Reply
That sometimes when we are at churches trying to raise support, I totally go comando. Yup…I do- and I can’t let anybody in on that secret. But here, let me tell you and all your readers. Ha ha. This is like post secret Anne. Yay for you and your crazy ideas.
By Pete Wilson on May 5, 2008 | Reply
That sometimes when there is a dramatic pause in my message, and I look like I’m waiting on God to give me something really powerful to say, I’m not. In reality I’m just wondering if I zipped up my zipper before I went up on stage.
By Zelig on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I’d rather look like a good christian than put in the time and effort to actually be one.
By tony on May 5, 2008 | Reply
nothing - i typically let it all out, and 99.9% of the time I’m absolutely correct
it’s great being me! (for those of you that are the J type, this is a JOKE!!)
btw Pete, I’m the guy on the third row that yells out - “pete, you fly’s unzipped - good to see you too buddy!
By jon on May 5, 2008 | Reply
that comb-over really does need to go. someone might lose an eye on a windy day! if the church can change…you can too…!
By Kyle Stickens on May 5, 2008 | Reply
…I just had a drink last night and it tasted really good.
By Carol on May 5, 2008 | Reply
You rock, ’cause God didn’t have time to create a nobody and you are awesome!
By ann on May 5, 2008 | Reply
…that I support civil unions for homosexual couples.
By Kyle on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I currently feel NO connection to God when I pray or read the bible.
[side note: my only current connection to Him spiritually seems to be through worship]
http://www.vagabondrunn.wordpress.com
By Josh on May 5, 2008 | Reply
That I hate Facing the Giants.
By Jan Owen on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I don’t often tell anybody what I really believe about women in ministry - it’s too heavy for most people and honestly, I think most don’t want to hear it. So I keep my mouth shut alot - but not on your blog, Anne! Nobody knows me here! haha
By Julie on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I’m repulsed by the “fakeness” of people that have caught the “big-smile-church bug”. You might be acting like you care at this moment, but a few seconds later you are going to stab me in the back…
By Godzgal on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Um…how I’m really doing that day or feeling at the time.
Christy Christian..”Hey jen, How are you today?”
Me…..um….”fine!” and you?
Plastic people.
Instead….”I’m alive. :) I’d love to have someone pray for me today. I’m struggling with (fill in the blank) and I could use an accountability partner.”
By Becki on May 5, 2008 | Reply
When I say “I’ll pray for you.” I don’t usually mean it. I have been a Christian for 27 years and I still don’t understand the point of praying.
By Crystal Renaud on May 5, 2008 | Reply
ditto ann, and i will be voting for hillary if she’s the nominee.
By Louis in Kentucky on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I would say “I really am thinking I can’t do this job anymore”. I am allowing the ministry that I serve become the job I don’t enjoy.
By Joni on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I like to swear. It makes me feel better.
By Joni on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I have others but too many people I know read your blog and I’m too chicken to share.
By Crystal Renaud on May 5, 2008 | Reply
oh, and i really really like amy winehouse.
By C.C. aka LorelaiCC on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I struggle with having a quiet time. I’ve been a “Christian” since I was 6 years old and sometimes I wonder if I really am a Christian and why I don’t seem to have it all together.
By Shaun Groves on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I’m a pacifist.
By MelH on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I am petrified by impromptu prayer OUT LOUD.
By amy on May 5, 2008 | Reply
If you can clap and yell for the Cowboys or Stars or Mavs or Tennessee Lady Vols or whoever, why can’t you clap or cheer for Jesus during worship.
I would also say that I suck at following thru. It can be following thru with reading my bible, praying for people,or calling people, etc.
I thank God that loves me and uses me, imperfections and all.
By Will Young on May 5, 2008 | Reply
We do too much in “the name of Jesus,” and I truthfully think that most of what we do repulses Jesus.
By lynse leanne on May 5, 2008 | Reply
i dont pray for meals because i dont see the point in it.
By ash on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Most people I know who claim to follow God are really sucky people who don’t care about anything but themselves and their comfort. It makes me not want to follow their rules.
By lory on May 5, 2008 | Reply
lately, i have had several people come to me to complain/chew about things that don’t involve me…. so mine would be “I DON’T CARE!”
By Eric Brown on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I’m a socialist…and I hate the worship industry.
By aubrey on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I dislike 99% of the Christian music out there. I also dislike 88% of the worship music out there…picky picky
By Josh Mickelson on May 5, 2008 | Reply
“How is the God of the New Testament love, yet in the Old Testament he committed genocide and commanded His people to kill off anyone who was in their way (women and children included)?”
I should be able to ask that in a church forum, but I feel immature for thinking it. I have been a Christian my whole life, so it feels like I should be over these kinds of conflicts.
By Janel on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Sometimes I am afraid to say that serving in ministry is not always a joy.
By Vince on May 5, 2008 | Reply
‘not all Christians are republicans’
By Becky on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Sometimes I wonder if this whole Christianity thing is a lie.
By Jarrod Morris on May 5, 2008 | Reply
When I’m leading worship, I sometimes think of all 31 flavors of ice cream at Baskin Robbins.
By Melinda Groth on May 5, 2008 | Reply
How I feel more alone than ever, when someone gets up to the mic and talks about the deep friendships that can be found in church small/care groups . . . and that just has NOT been my experience.
By Paul J. on May 5, 2008 | Reply
“Do you like Corona or Red Stripe?”
By Phil Thompson on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Sometimes i feel like what i am teaching is having no effect on anybody! :(
By sharon on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I would like to say:
“Your 14/15/16/17/18 year old daughter looks like a SLUT in those Abercrombie shirts & jeans. They are too tight & low & her boobs are falling out and her pubic hair is peaking out from the top of her jeans. All the young teenage boys are going crazy and probably older men are lusting after your child - CHILD. Get a Frick’n clue & teach her some modesty or perhaps you yourself are so caught up in the latest fashion that you don’t care if your daughter dresses like a SLUT”
…and no - i’m not an old ugly women that is clueless about life, and yes, this is a good battle to pick.
There - that’s what I would say.
By brandiandboys on May 5, 2008 | Reply
That I rarely have a quiet time. Stop looking at my hot husband. :)
By Joe Louthan on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I was in a group of more than 20 people, coed, when I told everybody that I used to work in porn.
So, there is nothing I will or will not say in church.
Anne, if you admitted that to me, my initial response (with all sorts of glee) would be, “Wanna read together? Do you have questions? I would love to help you out!”
This, of course, totally forgetting my place as a single guy and you as a married woman… but still.
By John Ireland on May 5, 2008 | Reply
“No”
(as a response to another serving/leading “opportunity”)
“Balance”
By tony on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Billary and Bammamamma are from satan - there, I said it
By Joe Louthan on May 5, 2008 | Reply
… isn’t that the purpose of James 5:16?
By sharon on May 5, 2008 | Reply
TONY - did you say
Hillary & Obama?
Just wanted a clarification.
my son asked me a few days ago “are democrats bad”? I overcame the temptation and told him the truth. I love those truly teachable moments.
I’ll leave my temptation & truth open for argument…hahaha. I have decided that that subject is best left in the house.
By alex mclean on May 5, 2008 | Reply
How come pastors don’t live what they teach?
By Brian Alexander on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Anne,
Too often I say the thing or things that I “can’t” and then I have to clean up the mess. But God has a big broom.
brianalexander.wordpress.com
By Beth K. Vogt on May 5, 2008 | Reply
That law is easier than grace … just tell me what to do and not do and I’ll give it my best shot.
Grace is too big, to wide open and scary.
(And I’ve said this–and people laugh and think I’m kidding–but I’m not.)
http://www.theaccidentalpharisee.blogspot.com
By Becca on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I’m depressed- and it’s not because of a relationship with Jesus.
By Cynthia on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I don’t like Beth Moore Studies.
By Becca on May 5, 2008 | Reply
(a lack of relationship with Jesus. oops)
By mandy on May 5, 2008 | Reply
well. um. i pray SO LITTLE that its probably more accurate to say i don’t pray.
By Becca on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I don’t like boisterous worship where every week there’s a new song.
By Just D on May 5, 2008 | Reply
…”stop whining about your awful life and DO something about it - kill yourself, I don’t care, I’m tired of listening to you and taking care of you and being a ’supportive christian friend’” That’s really bad isn’t it? Yeh, it is.
By tony on May 5, 2008 | Reply
yep - both of ‘em. (but, this is about things we say we wish we could take back) - but I probably won’t regardless
By Sean B. on May 5, 2008 | Reply
mine is usually “man, I can’t stand Christians sometimes.”
By Judith Thomas on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I really, really like a good glass of red, spicy wine. I think most folks in church do drink responsibily, we are all just too scared to say it.
Also: “get off your butts and praise the God that saved you from all sin and shame!!!”
thanks for asking anne! I feel so relieved now.
By Jason on May 5, 2008 | Reply
quit your bitc….complaining.
By Jan Owen on May 5, 2008 | Reply
so how much are we going to pay you for this therapy?
By Josh Mickelson on May 5, 2008 | Reply
ooo annother one:
Stop making Christianity a scapegoat for not developing a personality. Quit being judgemental, flakey, egotistical, mean, rude, fake in the name of a God who was none of those things.
By tony on May 5, 2008 | Reply
or how bout - if you don’t like go to another blog
By Kristiapplesauce on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Hey Tony…you got a blog or whatever? I would totally read it, or hang out there or something. Email me…let’s hang out. Yeah yeah.
By Amber Cox on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Christians are boring. Christians are the reason people don’t want to become Christians
By Kyle on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Sharon-
Wow, that was intense. Thank you for your honesty and yes, you’re right, it NEEDED to be said.
http://www.vagabondrunn.wordpress.com
By nicky on May 5, 2008 | Reply
lots of things…but i get ticked off when people and the media assume you HAVE to be a conservative republican to be a Christ follower. like i must be in love with Huckabee or something. most of that agenda seems to me to be the opposite of what Jesus would do.
By Dave on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Why do I have to pray for this crippled guy again? and again? and again?
Why won’t he just get healed already?
By Jonathan Brink on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I can say this in my tribe but not in church.
I really like sex but intimacy is better.
By tony on May 5, 2008 | Reply
these are really fantastic. you know, we all need a little help I think!
now for a serious note - yep, we are all human and we all have thoughts that really shouldn’t be spoken - we are not perfect and won’t be for awhile
thanks to all of you who have been brave enough to lay it out there - you pray for me, and I’ll pray for you
(boy, that will get some comments, I’m sure)
By Giant Idiot on May 5, 2008 | Reply
That I am in over my head
By Natalie Witcher on May 5, 2008 | Reply
@*&!**% and #$!&%$ and *&%(@@
By Michael Johnson on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I wish I could believe God more, rather than just believe in God more.
By David on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I used to watch porn every Sunday morning- and then masturbate in service.
By Julie P on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I love, love, love Harry Potter. No biggie for a lot of Christians I know, but it’s easier to avoid it at the risk of having one of those other Christians totally go off on you.
By Lindsey on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I like a lot of those Emergent guys and gals and I’m Southern Baptist. There I said it! Whew! Glad I got that off my chest!
By jon on May 5, 2008 | Reply
i’m catching up from the last time reading this morning…
THANK YOU SHARON for… “Your 14/15/16/17/18 year old daughter looks like a SLUT in those Abercrombie shirts & jeans. They are too tight & low & her boobs are falling out and her pubic hair is peaking out from the top of her jeans. All the young teenage boys are going crazy and probably older men are lusting after your child - CHILD. Get a Frick’n clue & teach her some modesty or perhaps you yourself are so caught up in the latest fashion that you don’t care if your daughter dresses like a SLUT”
not that any man in church would struggle with such a thing…but yeah! that could be said pretty much every week!
By sg on May 5, 2008 | Reply
i’m a pastor so I would really get in trouble for saying this. . . but sometimes I just don’t like people. not all people. just some people. and some of those people I really don’t like
By Liz on May 5, 2008 | Reply
That I went to go see Anne when she came to speak in Decatur, AL on porn sunday (and she did a great job). And also that I do know Jan Owen (now, let’s see if Jan can figure out who I am!). (BTW, Jan is a great worship leader.) [Alright, this isn't really what I have trouble saying, but I just wanted to remind Jan that everyone knows everything on the web!]
By Nate Hov on May 5, 2008 | Reply
In general I think we are taught to put on a fake front as Christians, We are so afraid of offending people that we forget our humanity or worse we are too concerned about looking good or playing the role or, or, or…
I love what one of my pastors once said to my friend about our bible study group, he said: you need to get into each others s@%t. I don’t see these problems in the 1st century Church, in fact wasn’t this what they were getting away from?
I can’t stand most people. There are too many stupid people out there. And if you can’t read or speak the language of the country you’re in you should have a drivers license, and maybe you should have to pass an IQ test before they issue one anyway… for a few
By dr on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Some Sundays I’d rather be at home reading a book, or at the beach, or sleeping than leading my church
By D Rho on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Raising my hand:
“Umm, pastor… I have a question.”
By Jan Owen on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I know several women named “Liz” but honestly don’t know exactly which one you are. I also make no secret of my beliefs, I just don’t always talk about them. I was just making a joke. So who are you?
By Food For Thought on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Why is it that most models for Spiritual growth are all based on ACTIONS? Attendance, giving, small group membership, serving. These are ways that we track growth according to most models. I understand that these may be indications of growth, but they also may not be indicators at all. Kind of interesting for grace based faiths to judge growth based on works.
By Liz on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Don’t worry, Jan - I knew you were joking! I’m the old single “Liz” with the cats (I also kept Christie and Robert’s cats for almost six months while their house was on the market a few years back).
Now, to the topic at hand, something I can’t say in church or around other Christians: It feels kind of pathetic to be a 40 year old virgin (even if I do believe sex should be saved for marriage).
By susan b. on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Why was I told that dancing is a sin? It looks like so much fun.
By jill on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Anne- ok so maybe I am your groupie b/c when I saw your comment on my blog I sort of felt like Bon Jovi had commented on my blog or something, haha! :)
By Chris Baker on May 5, 2008 | Reply
If you are a christian and you shop at stores owned by christians…don’t expect a $@$% discount, nor act like “B” either, you act worse that “non-christians”.
People…be real. Stop acting like a bunch of fake, happy, cheery, problem-less people you think you are. You are weak, hurting, depressed, struggling, and dealing with physical, mental, spiritual struggles just like me….
Accountability goes beyond just “reading and praying” -its genuine love and fellowship, it goes beyond our 2 hours on a Sunday morning. Get off the internet, hang up the phone, stop texting, turn the TV off and be with people, live your life with them.
I enjoy a beer or two. I enjoy listening to music that isn’t “christian”. I think your “abstaining” from certain things is stupid. And should not judge my relationship with the Lord.
Enough said….for now.
By Chris Baker on May 5, 2008 | Reply
@Food For Thought - Amen!
By Carole Turner on May 5, 2008 | Reply
I wish all Churchs and Christians period would stop making up sins, like drinking and dancing. I like wine and I love to dance.
By Carole Turner on May 5, 2008 | Reply
oh wait, I do say that in church. Yea, I pretty much say what I think no matter where I am.
By Carole Turner on May 5, 2008 | Reply
oh wait, I thought of something; I think some people pray in tongues to avoid having a real conversation with God.
Yikes, yea, that ones gonna get me in trouble.
By Sean Pritzkau on May 5, 2008 | Reply
“that song sucked”
By commander other on May 5, 2008 | Reply
“Last call for alcohol!”
By scott blair on May 5, 2008 | Reply
your sermon really sucked this morning
By Shawn on May 5, 2008 | Reply
First off- in reference to one of the first comments- Facing the Giants was a stupid movie… good idea… but seemed more like a comedy to me. lol
But mine would be:
I hate that when I explain my understanding of freedom in Christ, some Christians think that is my way of excusing sin. That makes me want to give them the middle finger (which I admit would probably be a sin, which proves that I am not excusing my sin)
By Laura on May 5, 2008 | Reply
that i’m tired of appearing “perfect little christian girl.” when i screw up big time too.
its like i’m seen as incapable of messing up..
By Shawn on May 5, 2008 | Reply
P.S. This is a great idea Anne! actually… if a pastor would ask the congregation this question every sunday… I would go to his church!
By rachel on May 5, 2008 | Reply
“i don’t really care or want to help. please leave me alone.”
that, of course, is my apathetic flesh speaking. the spirit of Christ is the only compassionate thing in me … praise God :D
By Shawn on May 5, 2008 | Reply
Idk if I’m just addicted to this… but like i said… Christian friends everywhere should ask each other the question we are responding to here, everyday! so things just keep popping into my head. but anyway my additional comment is this:
I think that praying for a meal is a very very vain thing! (and by “vain” i mean: “producing no result; useless” and so is saying “God bless you” when someone sneezes- and that one is often border line blasphemy too!
By clay on May 5, 2008 | Reply
i hope you don’t figure out that i have no idea what i’m doing.
By Stephanie on May 6, 2008 | Reply
I would say…
“I can be on the quieter side sometimes, but God can use me just as much as the more outspoken ones… why can’t you see that?”
By Tom Becker on May 6, 2008 | Reply
That I don’t like the word “Sucks” (sorry Anne) and I hear a lot of pastors use it.
Now I’ll go take the log out of my eye.
By Dave Carrol on May 6, 2008 | Reply
I loved this idea so much that I blogged about it!
i linked back here… hope that’s alright!
http://bigearcreations.blogspot.com/2008/05/what-cant-you-say-around-christians.html
By Heidi on May 6, 2008 | Reply
All the people who just want to control me should go shove it.
By anonymous on May 6, 2008 | Reply
I had an abortion. No, I am not proud of it but would you still accept me if you knew?
By Red Wine Gums on May 6, 2008 | Reply
There’s a lot being said here but I feel like I have to ask: what are you going to do about it? Are you just going to comment here and leave it at that? Or are you going to take the courage to say it to someone who matters and who can make a difference in your own life and the life of your church?
@Anonymous #103 - May 6 2008
I would accept you. And you know what? Jesus already has
By tony on May 6, 2008 | Reply
why did red wine gums (whatever the heck that means) have to ruin the party by saying something serious?
there you go!
By Tracy on May 6, 2008 | Reply
I suck at praying regularly
By anonymous on May 6, 2008 | Reply
Red wine gums - thank you - and I know that. For a long time I wasn’t sure but I have found amazing healing and restoration. It still just isn’t something I think some Christians would handle well.
By BUSH on May 6, 2008 | Reply
you want to go grab a beer & cigar after this?
By Jodi on May 6, 2008 | Reply
Is it just me or does this just seem like one giant club?
By .... on May 6, 2008 | Reply
i wish you wouldn’t judge my on the fact that i live with my fiance. did you know that i have been pretty much on my own as far as providing for myself since i was 16? did you know that i put myself through college working a job and a half and going to school full time to work with people that you would laugh at and not to mention i get paid close to nothing? do you know that i have kept my promise to God that i made when i was 14 even if to you it may not look like i have? do you really know my heart or did you forget that you aren’t qualified to make that judgement? and there are many more, but i think someone has covered them….
By brewster on May 6, 2008 | Reply
I LOVE THIS! Mine is this:
I love God but struggle at times to be 100% real for him. I suck @ reading my bible, but strive to do so. I drift when I pray. I strive for his presence but struggle with the cynicism built by my own inconsistencies and the inconsistencies of those around me. i want to learn to extend grace on the level that i need grace.
By Heidi R on May 6, 2008 | Reply
A lot of this makes me sad b/c I do say what I think/feel. And I make friends like crazy. Not that I’m pumping sunshine up my own butt, but try it sometime. Just say it. You will be more respected for saying it than you will for not saying it. If you don’t say it, you’re just as fake as they are. Right?
Here’s a go — all of this can be found on my blog btw — I’m very public.
1) I am divorced and remarried
2) I have genital herpes
3) I have 2 tattoos
4) I like Mikes Hard Lemonade
5) My husband is great at sex
6) I think women who make other women feel less than a Christian are militant Christians and I don’t want to be their friend anyway.
Love to all!!!!!!
Great post, Anne!!
By jking on May 6, 2008 | Reply
Most of the time I never feel forgiven for my sins…. partly because its hard to forgive my self… the other part is that church people seem to never let you let it go and move forward.
By sheri on May 6, 2008 | Reply
I find most Evangelism repulsive - I’m a Christian and have spent most of my adult life doing missions work.I’ve said this out loud before. I usually receive a response of shock and awe.
By sharon on May 6, 2008 | Reply
Hey anonymous ******
By anonymous on May 6, 2008 | Reply
I had an abortion. No, I am not proud of it but would you still accept me if you knew?
******
yes, of course I’d accept you if I knew you - duh, big duh.
Being against abortion and having the ability to see separation between the “abortion rights political circus” is really not the same as kicking the woman to the curb. The 2 are very different and I’d go so far to speculate that most of us who are “pro life” have the ability to separate the deed from the woman. The atmosphere for “fetuses” became what it is today many many many moons ago.
Is one sin worse than the other? Gheesh - some of these are funny & I have laughed out loud & others just make me sad that people are so caught up with the guilt and inability to forgive themselves. Get a counselor if you need to but get over it already.
Now - you with the genital Herpes - why do I have to know that???? that’s like having toe fungus - don’t really care. heh! Are the tattoos and herpes related? Did you get one from the other cuz I have 2 tats - but that was because of cable tv.
anyway my last out loud would be…
What kind of Christians is the Post Modern church putting out? Do we know our theology or do we know that we just look better at doing church then the Muslims do???for example.
peace.
By Fay on May 6, 2008 | Reply
Your church sucks. I don’t know why half of you actually still go there. The music is way too loud and my ears are still ringing on Tuesday. The youth (and half the adults) care nothing about what goes on here, save for the gossip. I’d like to tear down that life-sized painting of the pastor from the entryway, rip it to itty bitty pieces and burn the shreds in front of her and remind her that we’re not promised prosperity, money, stocks or a mansion.
Hmph. That felt good. :)
By Brooke on May 6, 2008 | Reply
I hate it when people ask for prayer for their neighbors brother’s cousin (or some person like 5 times linked in the distance from the person you actually know). Seriously, why does that need to go in OUR church bulletin? We don’t know them! I don’t even take enough (or hardly any) time to pray for myself and MY family, let alone will i ever care to pray for your neighbors brother’s cousin!! I hate that prayer has become so competitive…who can share the saddest and most dramatic sob story…thinking if their’s is the best people will pray for it.
That is what i wish i could say in church.
By Heidi R on May 6, 2008 | Reply
Sharon: Because there are MILLIONS of people who suffer from herpes too and won’t admit it. I am here to say I too suffer and no you (another sufferer) need not be ashamed. Since you pried — the herpes did not come from the tattoos — that is a question of ignorance by the way — or maybe you were just being catty. They came from my ex-husband. Thus, the EX in husband. Get me now? Glad you pried? Prolly not!
Heidi
of
http://www.candidchatter.wordpress.com
By cathi on May 7, 2008 | Reply
I’ve burned the book on “how to be a good pastor’s wife”. I want to be me. I don’t want kids. I don’t want to wear a floral dress and perm my hair. I am intelligent and competent. I am a woman - don’t insult my intelligence by saying I have to be a secretary or children’s worker in order to contribute to this church.
Yeah, I too have said this. Thank God for an understanding husband…i like him…a lot.
By Brianna McNeil on May 7, 2008 | Reply
I know I am sining and I sometimes don’t want to change. Definently can’t say that in church.
I like your blog. Your an interesting person.
By Steve on May 7, 2008 | Reply
Too many churches are social clubs and not mission centers… and the “members” would scoff at you for speaking anything negative about their cool club.
By sharon on May 7, 2008 | Reply
Heidi:
Chill - if you had read my post you would have seen that I also have qty 2 tattoos & it was meant as a joke - in jest - i’m not ignorant of tattoos - at all. Alot of people still think tatts are gross & nasty & are “tramp stamps” I don’t think that about them.
No, I didn’t pry into your business - that’s impossible since the info is clearly in Your post. If you hadn’t wanted comments (good or bad) you wouldn’t have posted the info. The other posts were somewhat lighthearted and that’s what I was getting at. Sorry that you didn’t take it that way and are a bit more touchy then I expected. I wasn’t being “catty” i’m not that type of person. Sorry I hit a raw nerve.
I will forever and always be more cautious when I post lest I offend or pry into a matter that has been posted in the public arena. Ok - that was being catty.
By Jen on May 7, 2008 | Reply
Amen to Sharon! If we could teach young girls to dress their age and make them understand what men deal with … well, some of them would still do it. So perhaps if dads stepped up and loved their daughters so they knew they were beautiful and their moms stopped dressing like 18 year olds, church could actually focus on Jesus.
I want to bring extra cardigans to church to hand out so my husband and other men can focus.
And I would say … I don’t love a lot of people. In fact, there are a lot of people I don’t even like.
By Heidi R on May 7, 2008 | Reply
Well it is clear I took you wrong. My apologies, Sharon. Please forgive.
HR
By Brandon Satrom on May 7, 2008 | Reply
That I can’t stand James Dobson, his narrow and belittling political views, and most of the Religious Right.
By Robin on May 7, 2008 | Reply
“What part of ‘test all things, hold fast that which is good’ did you people not understand?”
By JESS on May 7, 2008 | Reply
Hey, church, lets burn down this pretty building and huddle in the ashes, where we can’t be distracted by music and technology, and all the things we think our church needs. Let’s get “naked” so all that we see and know is what’s going on in the spiritual realm. Do you guys have any clue that that’s where the real action takes place?
By Scott on May 8, 2008 | Reply
I don’t get Dobson either, even Lucado most of the time (and never have finished “Purpose Driven whatever…). Could it be that Jesus was right when he said that a student would never be greater than his teacher? So if I want to know truth, shouldn’t I get to know the author of truth rather than 2nd or 3rd hand info?!??!
I really don’t mean to be “name calling” but if the name is used from the pulpit….
By Dawn on May 8, 2008 | Reply
anne
what a lovely question. i’ve read all the responses thus far and i would have to say that i have, at one time or another, probably thought all of them.
my biggies are often when people are talking to me..telling me something they find important, i’m usually think “just shut up and go away…i don’t care!!”
also, whenever a particular person comes to mind all i can think is “i hate her, i hate her”. so i can’t seem to forgive her…even though i know i’m far from perfect myself.
admitting that to some ‘good christian folk’..would just land me in an intervention.
love ya anne girl!
By Jamie on May 8, 2008 | Reply
I am going to be brutally honest here. This is what I would say in my home church, to my pastor, if I had the guts.
You are boring. You are super smart, and I can tell you love the word and you love God, but you never stay on track and you ramble, ramble, ramble! My butt goes numb every Sunday, and your voice starts to sound like the adults on Charlie Brown.
By Anne on May 9, 2008 | Reply
I like to watch the pink haired lady on TBN!
By April on May 9, 2008 | Reply
I don’t believe church “services” are supposed to be seeker-friendly, nor are church programs and ministries supposed to be for believers. Ironic, no? The church essentially says, “You get ‘em here, we’ll get ‘em saved.” The point of the church gathering was never to preach the gospel–that was the mission of the church as a body, but not the point of the gathering. The gathering was to build up the believers. And all this talk about ministry makes me sick when all it is is just meeting our own needs. Let’s have a scrapbook night and gym night and potlucks just for ourselves…because that’s what Jesus called us to, right? Oh…he wanted us to GO into the WORLD? Huh….
By me on May 9, 2008 | Reply
i have lots - i’m a pastor’s wife >: )
i don’t like beth moore studies
yes, my husband is amazing, just remember he’s MINE
quit being a martyr about serving in your church - it’s a biblical command, not me being bitchy
no, you don’t pay my salary & no i don’t work for you & no, it’s not my job
stop being shocked & appallled when my teenagers act like teenagers
jesus wasn’t a republican. or white. or american.
i have mor ebut i’m starting to sound bitter >: )
By Vicki on May 20, 2008 | Reply
That your energy level is not MY energy level…and God is fine with that.. LOL. Don’t expect me to be super-saint just because you think *you* are. We’re not competing here.
The legalism in the church club is still running rampant, but God bless those who “get” what grace actually means.
By CCC on May 20, 2008 | Reply
Anne,
I am secretly rejoicing over a silver lining around a recent cloud that produced it. To me, it’s a radiant, thick, beautiful silver lining. So, why should I feel shamed to be thankful for the cloud, if not for the silver lining it produced? I mean, can’t we be thankful for getting killers off our streets and abortion rights activists out of government?Were the Munchkins really off-base for singing Ding-dong, the witch is dead!?
By Lee on May 20, 2008 | Reply
that I am a feminist- in an evangelical, non-denominational church- go girls!
By Dan Morehead on May 20, 2008 | Reply
“You’re so nice you’re utterly boring people.”
“There’s a difference between kindness and being nice, and nice is not a Christian virtue.”
“I don’t think your pastor has read a good book in the last ten years.”
By stifled on May 20, 2008 | Reply
What won’t I say? I’d say, “Our church is floundering and stuck in the mud; there’s something not right here and I can’t put my finger on it. Can we pray about our church?”
Why won’t I say it? Simply because the response would be “we don’t talk about such things here–everything’s fine, just fine, thank you”
By anonymous on May 21, 2008 | Reply
I’ve left three church families before. One for firing their ministers for preaching from the Bible. One other since the youth minister had an affair with one of the other kids in the youth group (the courts already took care of this). How can I believe that this place is any different? It’s a megachurch, and no one knows anyone else.
By tpn on May 22, 2008 | Reply
To my church I would say, “you are all so complacent. you know the truth of Jesus Christ…JESUS CHRIST…and yet you don’t want to reach out to the hurting or invite/accept non-Christians because it might disturb the chemistry of your HOME group or who you go to Pizza Hut with after service. snap out of your 5th grade mentality and be proactive.”
Oh, and, “stop nodding because all the Greek translations are confusing you just as much as they are me.”
By Dan on May 22, 2008 | Reply
I would say that I think that most people who are in the church and claim to be Christian are indeed not truly saved in the first place…but then again who am I to judge?
Who cares if the pastor is addicted to porn or people are sleeping around in the church, or abortions are taking place or gossip and backstabbing are the norm.
I do! And I get sick of it, and we wonder why in the world the Lord does not bless His Church - give me a break! Repent!
By Dan on May 22, 2008 | Reply
Oh, and about the whiney slutty woman who likes to play the victim card constantly and acts all wounded when you call her on her cougar ways. I’d like to smack the woman to one end of the pew to the next and say, leave my spouse alone!
By Dan on May 22, 2008 | Reply
Also, why dont’ you stop judging me because I actually read and obey the bible. Take you issues up with God not me - homosexuality is wrong, and I dont’ care if you believe it or not.
By abby on May 22, 2008 | Reply
Why do most Youth Pastors feel that they need to tell all of their kids that they need to be Pastors?
Why do most churches feel that their college students need to go to a Christian college?
Why are so many Christian families doing wrong by their kids and homeschooling them?
Why do Christian homeschooling families think that they have the best way to raise their kids, and feel that they need to shun those who choose to live out the commandment of “going into the world”?
Why do mainstream, middle-class, predominantly white churches shun those who are different form them? so what if some one has a tattoo or several? so what if some one has a piercing or two? According to the Bible… Jesus loves them too… and are we not called to love our neighbors?
By renee on May 22, 2008 | Reply
i’ve pretty much given up on Jesus–especially and particularly in most of the ways he has been presented to me.
my spirituality is in no way dead, however, in many ways it is more alive and luscious than ever.
By A Good Place to Be on May 22, 2008 | Reply
men:
stop acting like you have no problems and that you’re john wayne or something.
be willing to be honest about yourself with the other men in your church: either they will extend the love of Christ that is in them, or they won’t have Christ’s love to extend to you, which means you have one less maybe now many fewer (fake chrstian) men to fellowship with — and that’s a GOOD thing.
women:
hold your men accountable to get right with God if they’re not. support your men and respect them even if you feel there’s nothing about your man to respect - isn’t it possible that God sees something in your man to respect?
By Mark on May 22, 2008 | Reply
I like this country club. The membership dues are cheaper than the ones with the golf courses.
Is there anyone else here that is getting absolutely nothing out of it.
Does anyone here really believe this stuff means anything to God?
By Paul on May 22, 2008 | Reply
I question infant baptism
We should trust God to provide for us and make immigration easier for people.
Veterans Day and Fourth of July and etc. have no place in the worship of the Church.
We are not a social club.
If we are so concerned about abortion, why aren’t we lining up to adopt the many children who need good Christian parents and actually show that adoption is a good choice for a woman to make. Don’t we believe God will provide
Be a contributer not a complainer
In response to serving the hispanic community, “Its a good thing that Jesus didn’t decide to stop giving himself up for us on the cross.”
By Minnie on May 22, 2008 | Reply
the parking lot is full of too big vehicles. women have no business ‘preaching’ (anyone read the bible anymore?) men have no business being best friends with women besides their wives. andy stanley is endlessly repetitive. messages are getting more and more manipulative and less bible based. please ladies, 1 pump of perfume only. people over 65, stop putting tons of onions in carry-in dishes. other than all that, church rocks.
By Yes I have issues! on May 22, 2008 | Reply
I hate it when people babble in church. They call it speaking in tongues. It’s bull.
By multiplemedia on May 22, 2008 | Reply
Food For Thought - Amen on your comment “Kind of interesting for grace based faiths to judge growth based on works.”
By Elizabeth N. on May 22, 2008 | Reply
Oh boy….
1. It’s okay to stop and retune your guitar if necessary while leading worship. Really. Just turn off the amp and do it. We’ll keep praying and praising in the interim. And lots of us will be very grateful.
2. Screaming HALLELUJAH THANK YOU JESUS WE LOVE YOU LORD WE SING PRAISES TO YOUR NAME HALLELUJAH COME ON PRAISE HIM PEOPLE!…into the microphone….does not equal leading worship. It equals causing pain. Shut up for thirty seconds and trust that your audience already knows how to tell God they love Him.
3. To the “drummer”: Playing loud does not equal playing well. Being able to bang out a rhythm with sticks does not mean you are a drummer. A concert hall sized drum set, used in a room that legally seats 300, does not require amplification to be heard when there are thirty people in the audience.
4. If you are teaching a new song, sing the melody and sing it clearly. Do not embellish.
5. If you hear some bit of news about someone and proclaim, “I had a dream about that very thing!” Then the dream should actually pertain to the news. It should not be some kind of symbolic thing that you conveniently bend to mean what you want it to mean, and it is not a prophecy. It is, at best, a confirmation and perhaps an encouragement for someone.
6. Looking up Greek words in Strong’s dictionary, picking out one possible meaning/translation of a word, and then going off on your own preconceived tangent is NOT the same as knowing Greek. Do not expect me to pretend it is when I know better, and do not expect me to holler AMEN to your cr… teaching when I know that is not what the Greek says.
7. Just because I am female does not automatically mean I am good with small children.
8. I am opposed to abortion in almost every instance. I still want it to be legal. I don’t want women who don’t share my point of view to not have access to a medically safe procedure.
9. You do not have to be a Republican to be born again.
Okay, that’s enough for now.
By CMF on May 22, 2008 | Reply
Please let me use my gifts instead of trying to smash this square peg into a round hole. And when I don’t fit into your round hole, don’t toss me aside like a rag. Just because I’m shy and not good with kids doesn’t mean I’m without gifts to use for the Kingdom.
Note to church leaders: don’t assume that you are easily reached or approachable. And when someone does come to you with a concern, really listen and then follow up with them.
Technology is wonderful, when it works. Always be ready for glitches though. Worshiping a capella without amplification can be even more moving than having all the bells and whistles. If someone on your worship team can’t sing without accompaniment, then they really can’t sing very well at all.
By LTC on May 22, 2008 | Reply
If we are to trust God for our needs, Why not the “Church” do the same? Put a box in the back and stop passing the plate! God will provide and bless what He has ordained.
Thanks Anne for the question.
By Joanna on May 23, 2008 | Reply
Elizabeth N, amen about the abortion thing. I know girls who couldn’t get access to an abortion so tried to do it themselves which could be very harmful. While it would be better if they weren’t having one in any form if its gonna happen i’d much rather it happen safely.
By CeddyBear on May 23, 2008 | Reply
I don’t believe in Eternal Conscious Torment, and want to believe in Universal Salvation (though there are some people I wouldn’t mind seeing in a prolonged, tho not eternal, Hell).
I believe in Evangelical Inclusivism. Jesus saves everybody, but people still should hear the Gospel. And regrettably, some people may make themselves irreconcilable to God.
That said, I don’t love everybody, don’t want to love everybody, and think that (premature) forgiveness is widely overhyped.
Civil union for gays. I’m not too irate on gay civil marriage. But once the State starts violating religious rights to enforce gay rights, the war is on!
Christian youth group should include rigorous apologetics, radical compassion, martial arts & small weapons training.
I really want to ask your daughter out, but I won’t even consider it till she graduates high school. Even then, I won’t really do it.
Stop feeling so much and start thinking, darn it!
I believe in speaking in tongues, BUT we Charies/Penties probably are not speaking in Divine-given real languages. We are probably just spilling our spiritual guts in a Holy-Spirit-given gibberish.
IF there is a future Tribulation, the Rapture will happen way late into it (at the 7th Trumpet, before the Seven Vials- Revelation 11 & 14). However, it may well be that most End-Time prophecies were fulfilled in 70 A.D.
Accountability group? Everyone from the church that I would tell any real secrets to are either in my family, and very good sworn-to-secrecy friends, the best one of which left the church because she’s gay. Like I’d tell anything really substantial to 95% of my fellow church folk!
I have no problem with national flags & secular holidays acknowledged in Church.
But saying the Pledge occasionally while never saying the Creed or any liturgy, and basing services around Mothers Day while not even mentioning Pentecost (IN A PENTECOSTAL CHURCH- the AofG) is just stupid.
By Terry on May 23, 2008 | Reply
To Eric Brown, I’m not a socialist and I hate the worship industry too.
By CeddyBear on May 23, 2008 | Reply
Also, wine, beer or something harder?
By Drew on May 23, 2008 | Reply
1. I don’t like Christian music AT ALL.
2. I hate when people pray out loud and ramble on and on and on.
3. Gay marriage and abortion are not the most imortant issues.
By John on May 23, 2008 | Reply
In God’s Grace John.
By John on May 23, 2008 | Reply
Ma’am, I really wish you would have put some more clothes on this morning.
This is my new favorite blog
By John on May 23, 2008 | Reply
Oh, and I forgot to mention. Having the Gideons come to talk is usually a torture for me.
By Elizabeth N. on May 23, 2008 | Reply
John, what a bummer that your church’s Gideons talks are torture for you. We’ve had the same couple of guys in for years now and they give great talks. Very inspiring and interesting. That’s one of the annual events to which I always look forward.
By Chris Austere on May 23, 2008 | Reply
That both George Bushes and John Kerry are part of a secret society called the Order of Death (or Skull & Bones), whose initiation rites involve masturbating in coffins and other morbid unspeakables.
By Anne Jackson on May 23, 2008 | Reply
Please keep in mind this is for things you feel like you can’t say in church…because you feel like you might be judged
…not because you have a chip on your shoulder and like to whine and moan and judge others. :)
Carry on.
By SolShine7 on May 23, 2008 | Reply
1. Why are there so few interracial couples in churches?
2. Why can’t there be an open space for dancing during the praise & worship time? Why can’t we try something new like folk-dancing to make it more interactive? Like a celebration.
By sharon on May 23, 2008 | Reply
Ok, the real reason I homeskrool my kid - I don’t like to get up in the morning.
By Elizabeth on May 23, 2008 | Reply
Jusr becuase I’m single and female doesn’t mean I want your husband / boyfriend.
By Elizabeth N. on May 23, 2008 | Reply
Oh Anne, I would say all those things in my church in a heartbeat if I wasn’t quite certain I’d get thrown out on my ear. I get what you’re saying, though.
By abby on May 24, 2008 | Reply
I want to tell some Dads to love their daughters and take a stand and tell them to put on some more clothes… their wifes too!
I want to tell single Christian men that they need to remember that that beauty is fleeting!
I want to tell parents that it is OK to tell your kids NO! And that for the good of society, they need to tell them NO!
I want to tell many churches the reality of why they need to pay attention to families and children and youth and college students and singles.
By abby on May 24, 2008 | Reply
I am quite confident that if i were to have said those things to people in the church that was my former employer… my employment would not have lasted as long as it did!
Sometimes the truth really sucks!
By Marcus on May 24, 2008 | Reply
Wow. A friend of mine pointed me here. I have read this as a foreigner, and what I hear is that most of you want reality not fakery and yet are too afraid to say that in church.
Wow.
Goodness me, if this was how people felt in my church I would be on my knees weeping before God and begging for mercy. Is this truly a reflection of how Christians feel in your country?
I guess it happens everywhere. I pray with all my heart that no-one in my small flock is ever too scared to say anything. Yet I know they probably are - people are people. Better get back on my knees.
By carlos perez on May 24, 2008 | Reply
The Catholic decadence was,and now comes the prosperity.The prosperity of protestants was and now comes the decline,dont you see it??Im a former protestant but now i do not want me beeing called protestant is a shame,you live inmersed in femenist ideas,evolucionist views,and concepts that every thing is about how society raise you,as the comunist in the 70s thought.You are not Christians,because you dont read the Bible as it speaks.You try to understand the Bible under human ideas supervision instead of understand human ideas under Gods view.You are lost,MY words are words that God put in my lips,there are not my owne ideas.Im a modern prophet but who is going to hear me,nobody.Because everybody is going to judge me under his sinful eyes.God is great,Who can understand His infinite love??if you write me.
By Anonymouse on May 25, 2008 | Reply
I don’t have any desire to make non-christians christian. I think a lot of them are better off staying as they are.
By sarah walston on May 25, 2008 | Reply
I do tell people I am not very good at being Christian. But I’m trying.
By whiny on May 26, 2008 | Reply
It REALLY drives me nuts when there are typos in the bulletin or on the worship slides.
By heatherk on May 27, 2008 | Reply
I don’t love God (nor most people). I get frustrated reading the Bible. If God wanted to us to have a relationship with him, he should have made the stories and information in the Bible easy to understand for everyone - not just scholars & others who spend hours studying.
By Nick on May 27, 2008 | Reply
The sermons here are pretty bad. It would be nice if the pastor would just preach the text and stop reading in all kinds of psychological babble and speculations about why so and so did whatever he did. Maybe I would actually learn something about the Bible if he did that.
By Bill (cycleguy) on May 27, 2008 | Reply
Got a new boat did you? Did you help anyone financially? Going camping again this weekend? Are you taking God with you? Going away again? Did you leave your tithe or will you make it up?
So…can you tell I am a pastor (who sometimes gets frustrated at poor excuses for being gone?) :)
By Cath on May 28, 2008 | Reply
I’d like to say to some people in my church (if they’d listen):
Why do you think homeschooling = sheltered kids? Can’t you see that my kids are living a terrific life? We’re meeting all kinds of people, watching & discussing movies, eating junk food, reading sci-fi/fantasy, using non-Christian curriculum, painting LOTR minatures, having drama lessons, exploring our city, and learning about the world. Oh, and we read the Bible and pray too.
By distant on May 28, 2008 | Reply
i HATE that the church is known for hating gay people (whether that’s true or not)
i think most churches spend too much money and put too much effort and time into ‘producing’ church services
i don’t really ‘get’ Jesus…i can grasp the concept of Father God, but the convergence of the God/man is something/someone i find very hard to relate to, and while i’ve been a Christian for 30 years and i love Jesus and am grateful to him for my salvation, i don’t really have a ‘relationship’ with him…and that makes me weep
By distant on May 28, 2008 | Reply
also, my Christian husband and i almost never speak of spiritual things…we have almost no spiritual connection at all
By mo on May 28, 2008 | Reply
1 God does not have a short attention span and you don’t have to say his name every other word when you are praying.
2 God is probably doing interesting things in your life and you don’t have to borrow someone else’s story and put it in a sermon as if it happened to you.
3. I do not think Calvininsm is a prerequisite for Christianity. I am an Armenian. Deal with it.
By Teresa on May 28, 2008 | Reply
I self harm, and I’m not sure I want to stop.
I don’t know if I love God.
By Cheryl on May 28, 2008 | Reply
I think that all humans are capable of being attracted to and loving another human……. regardless of gender. You can choose not to, you can even repulsed by the thought, but I just think it is part of being human, even if it’s not part of being a disciple.
By Jenn C on May 28, 2008 | Reply
That I dress up at church out of respect for God, not some tradition. And I kinda judge you if you haven’t attempted to take some pride in your appearance at church. ‘Cause we all know you got to sleep at least two hours later.
That most women in their 20’s dress like hooches in church to impress some guy in another row. And that it makes me want to punch some of my good female friends in the face.
That is pastor’s keep pretending like the internet is not the place to be relevant and reach people, (including youth pastors/leaders getting more involved on social networks), then we’re never going to catch up with people.
Anne, this is awesome. Thanks for asking.
By paula on May 28, 2008 | Reply
I have a couple of people that i can be candid with but here’s a couple of things:
I hate being 26 and single. I believe that God will bring the right guy along, but I wish He’d hurry up!
Thankyou for telling me how much you love singing, but don’t say that and then pass me over for a major event for someone younger, skinnier, etc! (I was going to add another qualifier, but i’ve been in trouble for blog contents before!)
My last one - Christians make for HORRIBLE customers! Stop asking for discount!
By paula on May 28, 2008 | Reply
Clarification: that should say ’singing with me’
By just sayin... on May 28, 2008 | Reply
that the denomination/church i belong to is known for teaching the word, not for loving well.
By karla ~ looking towards heaven on May 29, 2008 | Reply
that I yell at my kids a lot; that I’m not the sweet calm person they think I am.
By Zack on May 29, 2008 | Reply
On the way home from a church women’s retreat, my wife and sister were riding with a couple of other girls. The driver decided to go THREE hours in the wrong direction to have lunch at Cracker Barrel — without asking anyone else in the car…
By the time 2:00 rolled around and everyone realized what was happening (because they were about to enter another state), the conversation, I’m told went like this:
My Wife: “I need to get out of this car.”
My sister: “I need a cigarette.”
Another Passenger: “I need a beer.”
The driver: “Don’t say that in front of you know who…”
Another Passenger: “Why? You know you want one too…”
By BW on May 29, 2008 | Reply
This should be required reading for ALL pastors
If your calling is evangelism leave the pulpit to those who are chosen to preach, don’t use the church to support your around the globe ventures, if you are truly called God will provide
Fact; barely clothed young girls stir lustful thoughts in 99.9% of men, put some clothes on!
Fact; 2 ounces of perfume will make others physically sick, use a mist
Fact; I now have hearing loss from the over amplified worship music, lose the amps
By Jack Hager on May 29, 2008 | Reply
As a (dry) alcoholic, I wish the Bible condemned drinking, but it doesn’t. Does say a lot about gossip, though.
http://www.midlandjack.blogspot.com
By Jules on May 29, 2008 | Reply
I think all Christians should feel free to have a pickin’ glass of wine or beer when they feel like it. I shouldn’t feel embarrassed when someone from church sees me out at dinner having a glass of Cab with my dinner.
By Tater on May 29, 2008 | Reply
I am depressed. Really, really depressed. I’m a Christian. A 100% born again Christian. Why do so many people think that the two can’t go hand in hand?
By tricia on May 29, 2008 | Reply
I wish the people nect to me in church would want to talk, not just say hello. I do try..
Tater,
Check out http://www.morethancoping.wordpress.com
there are some amazing people there.