the trap of freedom, part 2 of 2
June 4th, 2008 @ 12:15 pm
yesterday i asked if we can become trapped in our freedom…trapped by our desires and ability to indulge.
around the time i hit twenty years old. i was making a ton of money working for a trendy, upscale dallas dot com. i had a great loft, a mustang (convertible), was in on the young professional social scene.
i also had around a hundred thousand dollars in stock options that would be turned into cash as soon as the dot com went public, so i began spending it like it was already mine.
but then the dot com folded.
all i had left was my car (which i missed payments on), my loft, and a good 20k in credit card debt.
i remember driving down elm street to where i lived, right off of downtown, and for the very first time in my life, thought the only way to solve this terrible mess was to kill myself.
i kid you not. i remember the intersection i was driving through when i thought that. it would be sooo very easy to jump off the top of the building where i lived and end it all. because i saw no way out.
the only thing that kept me from doing it was the fact my grandfather had just passed away, and my family was already a mess from his passing. i couldn’t bear to see my dad grieve the loss of his dad…and know he would have to deal with the loss of his daughter.
i was trapped.
but i knew i had to do something.
eventually the mustang was downgraded, i moved into a one-bedroom, 500 sq ft condo with my best friend julie, and began aggressively paying off my debt. it has been eight years since that dark time in my life. almost every month since the day i turned 21, i’ve been working out the best ways to pay stuff off in spreadsheets. (see, i told you i like spreadsheets).
it has been a slow road to freedom, but we’re getting there. as of july 1, we will have no credit card debt at all. we still have a few thousand in medical debt (thanks to bladdy) and car payments, but to not be shelling out $350/month to credit cards will be amazing.
as our bills have been reduced by not eating out often, spending as little as we can on groceries, not having cable or internet at home now, not getting tattoos, and other stuff…we have been able to give more away. to our two compassion kids, to an amazing rescue center in haiti.
looking at money in a whole new way has been an amazing path to freedom.
i have never felt more free in my life than when i give. or, than when i was in africa realizing the responsibility chris and i have to serve others with our freedom.
i have never felt more free in my life.
if you feel trapped, try giving. even if you don’t think you can…you can.
just try. and see what happens.
Church · Confessional
Marla Taviano said,
June 4, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Love, love, love this post!
cool dad said,
June 4, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Great success story, Anne. Hopefully many will be inspired and throw off the burdens of materialism. It’s a fight, but it’s worth it!
jarrod morris said,
June 4, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Awesome Anne. Getting out of dept is great.
Bill (cycleguy) said,
June 4, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Dave Ramsey would call that gazelle intensity Anne. Way to go! In my most recent blog (bllgrandi.com) I talked about the struggle to get out of debt. We have no cc that can be used i.e. cut up & closed and now have only one with a balance (and it is restricted) but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! I look forward to that day when I send the last payment. Thanks for this post. I hope others can learn about getting out of debt.
Josh Mickelson said,
June 4, 2008 at 1:51 pm
I can’t even express how encouraging this post was to me. Thanks!
Michael Johnson said,
June 4, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Great post… next step - talking to those with the money who are afraid to let go… afraid to trust God in these uncertain times.
Anne Jackson said,
June 4, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Thank you everyone. Michael, I hope to do this in the next week or so!!
Tyler said,
June 4, 2008 at 3:19 pm
from someone very very anal about money (yes I said anal) this was very helpful. thanks for your honest thoughts anne.
jimmy paravane said,
June 4, 2008 at 3:26 pm
You never forget the first time you think of killing yourself.
Kenyon said,
June 4, 2008 at 3:28 pm
agreed
Heidi Reed said,
June 4, 2008 at 4:03 pm
We gave recently to a complete stranger — over the internet. Truthfully, we didn’t really have it to give, but we did it. In a nutshell, God has come through loud and clear. Since we gave that $$ our tenant (who doesn’t pay the whole mortgage every month b/c we needed a tenant so we reduced the rent) has offered to buy our house. We were fearing he would move in August. Blessing # 1. Next, our mortgage payment on that house was cut nearly in half due to interest rate decreases — the first time since we refinanced it 4 years ago. Blessing # 2. My advice is LEAP and then wait on God.
Freedom comes with sacrifice. :)
Thought you’d like to know.
John Ireland said,
June 4, 2008 at 5:33 pm
bravo, anne…
i am big-time proud of you. our stories re: debt are not identical, but i for sure know of what you speak. eager for the day when all of the unsecured debt is no more!
Pete Wilson said,
June 4, 2008 at 5:45 pm
Great job Anne. There is a tremendous freedom in not letting the stuff we think we “own” own us.
Unka Bob said,
June 4, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Andrew taught me how to get out of the credit card crunch - only spend cash. If you ain’t got it, you can’t spend it. Worked - we got rid of most of the debt in a couple of years.
Timothy West said,
June 4, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Wow that is very humbling and inspiring as i am 21 at the moment and about to finish Uni. Thankfully i am not in dept through the fees and costs but in a years time i am going to be out in the big bad world with a Good degree under my belt and some potentually good jobs up in London or Anywhere even. Just if i take a stop and think what am I supposed to do with my life that is where I get stoped dead in my tracks I mean i could make lots of money and even…….
Sorry this it getting too long read on at my blog… trcwest.com/blog
Phil Thompson said,
June 4, 2008 at 7:34 pm
I appreciate your openness, you are a real encouragement to so many people!
Elisha Arlan said,
June 4, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Anne,
Thanks for being ‘real’ with your blog. It takes guts to be so open. I guess there’s freedom in that as well. If God be for us, who can stand against us? As Christians we need to be more bold in our sharing with one another.
kazzles said,
June 4, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Wow, great post and really inspiring. I got myself in a little financial trouble too two years ago when I had surgery and got made redundant all within a couple of days of each other (and spent money that I did’t really have I have to admit). Sometimes I feel so suffocated by it, but it’s great to see that you’re going to be debt free next month - it is possible!
I feel so selfish as a western Christian that I let myself get in this debt. There are so many things I would rather be doing with my money, but I’m glad I’m learning my lesson.
Andy Depuy said,
June 4, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Anne
Thank you for speaking from your heart. I got such a message to what you said It got me to start thinking about what I need to do.
Nikki said,
June 4, 2008 at 8:42 pm
wow. congratulations. that is so encouraging to me as my husband and I walk(meander) toward debt freedom.
BUSH said,
June 4, 2008 at 11:10 pm
great two posts. giving is the most freeing things you can do. genuinely putting others before you is one of the most rewarding things in life.
thanks for sharing this.
Greg Johnson said,
June 5, 2008 at 12:19 am
Anne,
What a great post! You are a great example and encouragement to many.
I’m glad you didn’t cut your mission off short. You are going to make a major impact in our world.
gaj
Mark Jaffrey said,
June 5, 2008 at 4:25 am
Super-huge congrats and here’s to a huge party on 1st July. Let’s call it “Financial Independence Day”, and here’s to the medical debt going the same way in due course.
I am right with you regarding giving being the key to financial freedom - whether it’s giving to your church, individuals, charities, sponsoring, whatever - that is my testimony. Something God is challenging me on at the moment is to give something away every day. I started today by buying bagels for my team. Maybe one day I can give away something huge like a car (did that once!), but bagels is a good start.
Carol said,
June 5, 2008 at 5:31 am
Anne:
Amazingly incredible post!!! Oh, if only more Christians could be share their feelings like you do….I see their struggles, but still they sit and stuff it in and go deeper and deeper in despair. I ditto everything Greg (2 comments before me) said…..oh my heart is so grateful for the major impact you are making in our world!!!!!!!
Joseph said,
June 5, 2008 at 9:15 am
Brilliant post! Again, I appreciate your vulnerability.
Paloma said,
June 5, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Thanks for being so honest. It’s great to see the other side! My debt isn’t huge, but it’s still draining.
I totally agree with the giving part, it makes a huge impact on so many lives. The giver, the receiver, the friends, our relationship and trust with God, and our relationship with money. I think the more you give away and see what a change it makes for other people, the less you want to waste it on trivial things for yourself!
You are such an encouragement on so many levels!
tony said,
June 5, 2008 at 1:16 pm
‘just try. and see what happens’
pretty much says it all doesn’t it? plus, it’s biblical
i too shall confess the same - don’t anyone dare knock it till you try it!!
Texas Ron Linebarger said,
June 5, 2008 at 9:19 pm
I have heard it said that true freedom is not the doing away with rules, but the choice what Master we decide to serve.
Kristiapplesauce said,
June 8, 2008 at 10:54 am
I like how your checkbook is like a rainbow. I thought you were nuts until I met Daniel. Seriously…you are like twins that way.
JESS said,
June 9, 2008 at 7:30 pm
thanks for sharing a wise view on finances. more people need to think this way.