what the heck?
August 15th, 2008 @ 6:15 am
for this lovely friday, i decided to go look at some referring keyphrases that have brought people to my site in the last couple of months.
some random favorites:
“i let the nun shave my head.”
“i am the lady who pooped in the elavator.”
“when you get married, keep your mouth shut.”
“what can i use instead of a rubber glove?”
“i gain water weight after eating nachos.”
“naked lady shaped cake pan”
“spider laying eggs in my throat”
“naked worship for widows”
“ideas for my pantyhose slave man”
“will you explode if you don’t poop?”
why is there so much poop talk? i don’t talk about poop on my blog!
hmmm….
always entertaining, though.
Blogging · Tech
Ryan Detzel said,
August 15, 2008 at 6:58 am
Maybe you should start talking about poop more…
…it’s what the people want.
Rachel said,
August 15, 2008 at 7:42 am
What service do you use to find that information?
Brad Ruggles said,
August 15, 2008 at 7:44 am
Dang! Your site got indexed for some pretty weird stuff!
My poor wife started her blog with a post about a funny story - my daugher asked why boys peed standing up. Ever since then she gets at least 10-15 hits a day from searches like “boys peeing” “watching boys pee” “girls peeing standing up”. I feel bad for her but I still jokingly call her blog the “pee-blog” :-)
Brody Harper said,
August 15, 2008 at 7:57 am
Ha HA HA…. yeah yours are weird.
Kelli said,
August 15, 2008 at 8:29 am
spider laying eggs in my throat???
I think Im gonna be sick
Mandi said,
August 15, 2008 at 8:38 am
Hmmm… pooping AND naked. Pretty racy blog you’re running ;-)
janowen said,
August 15, 2008 at 8:53 am
mine can’t compare but many times I get hits that make me wonder too. My blog is about my own spiritual journey. I talk about worship alot because I am a worship leader. I also talk about my everyday life…
One day we went to Paula Deen’s restaurant in Savannah and it prompted me to blog (as a good Southern girl) about southern comfort food. That was last fall. I still get hits almost every day from people looking for recipes for peach cobbler, biscuits and gravy, etc. I even have people comment wanting recipes. I think it’s the#2 post Ive ever written as far as google hits. I guess we like to eat more than worship.
I looked at yours and wonderd WHY anyone would google these things………do you ever WONDER about people!?
DaveAllen said,
August 15, 2008 at 9:41 am
LET’S HAVE A CONTEST!
Pastors= preach a sermon using as many of those sentences as possible. If you can use them as either the title or main points in the outline and still be theologically orthodox, bonus points.
Writers= take each sentence and use it as the opening sentence of your new novel. Write chapter one for us.
Winner gets something special.
DaveAllen said,
August 15, 2008 at 9:43 am
POETS= write an acrostic poem (ala Psalm 119); so that the first letter of each line needs to spell out , “ideas for my pantyhose slave man”
janey said,
August 15, 2008 at 10:22 am
Fun stuff!
I’ve been looking for ways to spice up the title of posts I’ve been writing.
I promise I won’t take your ideas but their good!
Zack said,
August 15, 2008 at 10:38 am
Seriously. Will you explode if you don’t poop?
Brooke said,
August 15, 2008 at 11:00 am
Why would a spider lay eggs in your throat? That’s nasty….bleh.
B.McCoy said,
August 15, 2008 at 11:12 am
I made an interesting confession concerning poop the other day..
(that sounds really bad..)
http://bmccoy.wordpress.com/2008/08/10/10-things-im-not-afraid-to-admit/#comments
tony said,
August 15, 2008 at 11:17 am
I Don’t Eat Asparugus Simply For Obvious Reasons. Mainly You Put Asparagus Next To Your Huevos, Or Salsa Eeggs. So Long Asparagus! Very Enticing Menu, asparagus. Not.
JudiFree said,
August 15, 2008 at 11:31 am
ha! I wish there was a great app to summarize what your google searches say about you and your blog. I could make millions on that!
Rachel said,
August 15, 2008 at 11:37 am
WOW! That’s quite the list. Wonder why all the poop talk?
Billy Chia said,
August 15, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Oh the joyous insights we gain into the human psyche when look at our referring traffic.
Chris Chowdhury said,
August 15, 2008 at 1:25 pm
These are off the wall! Way to go! Compel them to come anyway you can! :)
Dave Carrol said,
August 15, 2008 at 1:43 pm
I had a beauty yesterday “how do you tell a christian missionary you think there lazy bums”
that’s a tough conversation to have…
“as if the throng of angry pygmies aren’t enough… my friend thinks i’m lazy”
Andy McMahon said,
August 15, 2008 at 1:54 pm
“ideas for my pantyhose slave man” is actually how I found this blog…..
Only kidding!
Lorna said,
August 15, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Um, now that you’ve mentioned that you don’t talk about “that word” you have talked about it, (and received lots of comments using it) so you will probably be getting even more hits! :)
bryonm said,
August 15, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Your blog is obviously a gathering place for freaks and weirdos. I lurk here. I rest my case.
Lory said,
August 15, 2008 at 2:43 pm
DaveAllen: This is as creative as I can get in 10 minutes of work!
Inquiring about theology,
Daring, I raised my hand.
Everyone glared my direction,
Absurd was what they mouthed.
Slowly, I lowered my hand.
Figuring out how to escape,
Out the door I ran,
Running for my life.
My co-laborers laughed at me,
Yelling, “What’s your question, man?”
Panting, I found my cars keys,
About to make my break,
Never did I imagine that,
Trouble was on the way.
Yearning to leave the building,
Having a really fast car,
One would think I was already,
Somewhere down the road,
Everyone would be wrong.
Sirens were blaring behind me,
Loud speakers shouting commands,
All that the cop had concern for:
Very fast cars on the road.
Evidently, I had that car.
Meetings with staff can be brutal,
And after today’s little ticket,
Next time, I’ll just ask my question.
goteeman said,
August 15, 2008 at 4:57 pm
well, you see, it starts when we are wee young lads and lasses… no sooner can we get walking down than it’s time to use the potty… our greatest accomplishments from ages 2-3 are when we make poopie… which evokes praise from our parents, who whoop and holler and make a fuss, cuz little joey or little janie maked a poopie… YAY!!!!!
Then in elementary school, the jokes are all knock-knock jokes or poopie jokes… even the word sounds funny, and it evokes laughter from everybody but mommie… so everyone has successfully Pavloved that dog, and we are then imprinted with the poopie fixation for life…
or maybe that’s just my story…
J/
DaveAllen said,
August 15, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Tony and Lory,
Hilarious!! Your prize: Come on over to the house this weekend, you and your kiddos can swim and I’ll cook brats. wursts, that is, not your children. Bryonm, come on over to; you’re our kind of guy.
Christopher said,
August 15, 2008 at 9:24 pm
I just looked at your indexed pages you apparently have 16 pages that use the word poop more than once. Nice.
Andrea said,
August 15, 2008 at 11:25 pm
Come on, you poop, I poop, we all poop! :) Apparently there are not enough of these poop themed blogs.
Lory said,
August 16, 2008 at 12:08 am
DaveAllen,
Will a Sunday school lesson count instead of a sermon? My high school kids will be learning about Josiah and his faithfulness on Sunday. I can see how several of these phrases will fit in!! :)
Terrace Crawford said,
August 16, 2008 at 10:01 am
That is hilarious.
DaveAllen said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Lory, yes but I need audio (video is better) to qualify.
DaveAllen said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:08 pm
“what can I use instead of a rubber glove”
As probably the oldest guy hear, I want you to know if my proctologist ever said that in my presence, I’d run.
Paul said,
August 17, 2008 at 2:02 am
http://www.flowerdust.net/index.php?s=poop
Kelly said,
August 18, 2008 at 9:24 am
Oh my heavens . . . sorry, Anne, but this post made me laugh so hard.