i won’t lie.

sometimes i do my best to make my thoughts pretty and selective and organized when i write for my blog. because that is what smart bloggers do, right?

lately my brain has not been organized. i have been in an ultra-processing/ultra-internalizing mindset for the last few days and, just in case you have ever had the perception that i am a smart and/or organized blogger, this post is to prove you wrong. :)

with that disclosed, i now present to you, “brain barf, edition 1″ (as i am sure there will be many more of these as time passes).

on friends: i have had some of the most amazing conversations and hang time with my friends lately. they are generous and have blessed me in so many ways — some of them i’ve never even met before but in all the crazy, my friends are helping me heal, keeping me sane, and heck, even pampering me a little bit. i feel so unworthy but so lucky.

on family: right now, i’m in a weird season with some members of my family (and i know they read my blog, so…sorry). quite honestly, it sucks and it hurts but i am learning i can’t control the actions of others. nobody’s family is perfect; mine included, and this is new to me. and it’s been jacking with me. a lot.

on religion, and church, and christians: i recently had a conversation with someone who doesn’t subscribe to the christian faith. i feel like so much of the time, we are all in this little churchy bubble, and as intentional as i am to pop out of it for perspective, i realize i’m not doing a very good job at it. we aren’t doing a very good job at it.

during our conversation, my friend’s words sucked me out of the bubble with the force of a dyson and i really think my head exploded. we think we have so much figured out about life and the world around us, yet what we have actually done to shape and form the perception of those outside this jesus bubble TERRIFIES me. this conversation shook me to my core. it made me sick. it made me ashamed. it made me want to get a lobotomy and rediscover and relearn a faith i have “known” since i was in utero. i feel like i’m in the freaking matrix.

on panhandling: i live in an okay part of town, but nestled right in the middle of the hood. the last two days i have given in to panhandlers galore. seriously. i think they must have my picture somewhere because they find me everywhere and i can never say no. and i realize that it’s not always the “best” thing to do for people (ie the very drunk woman who told me she was sober tonight as i got the mail and handed her five bucks) and i can guess that my five bucks probably bought her a drink (when i really, really need one, can’t you tell?) but you know what? i can’t say no. sorry.

on keats: if you have never read the letters of john keats, you simply must.

on weather: my heart is so happy that it is autumn.

and there you have it. a fine mixture of various chunks of my brain. nothing sexy about it. just junk in my head. thank you so much for reading along.

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so…

if you ARE going to catalyst, a few things!

1. be on the look out for the cows. show them some love if you see them…

2. want a free, amazingly awesome t-shirt that’s will help promote mad church disease? promise to wear it one day at catalyst and it’s yours! email me your t-shirt size and cell phone number.

3. let’s meet! i’ll be at the deadly viper shin dig, thursday night, 8-9:30 pm. details and RSVP here.

4. don’t forget - catalystbackstage.com will be launching soon!

i seriously cannot wait for next week. i am not a conference person at all, but this isn’t just your everyday kind of conference. i haven’t been able to sleep i’m so dadgum excited.

who all from this little community IS going anyway?

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i was reading something today about the “a list” christians…you know, the really really famous ones.

i sent it to my husband who said, “there’s an ‘a list?’”

why, of course, silly husband.

don’t you know that jesus loves some christians more than others?

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check out what my friend aaron and his friend jonathan are doing at openapologies.org.

their post today is quite intriguing:

It is been said that you can judge the spiritual state of the church in every generation by the way they respond to Judas.

jump into the conversation…over there…by clicking here.

what are some new blogs you’ve been enjoying lately?

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the catalyst conference is only a little over a week away and there are many opportunities for you to engage like never before — even if you’re not able to attend!

CATALYST BACKSTAGE

this year, catalyst is launching something new: CATALYST BACKSTAGE, which will be hosted by none other than yours truly!

the website’s not up yet (here’s a sneak peek)…but OH MY GOODNESS is this going to be cool - whether you are attending catalyst or even if you aren’t!

CATALYST BACKSTAGE will feature off-the-cuff, LIVE, exclusive backstage videos with catalyst speakers (and surprise special guests), a completely live, interactive chat open 24/7 so you can chat with other catalyst attendees and discuss what you’re learning during the sessions as they are happening — all in ONE PAGE! we’ll also be pulling in catalyst twitters (#catalyst08 is the hash tag), and other catalyst webby goodness we find throughout the event.

when i’m not backstage, i’ll be running around with my trusty FLIP video camera invading your personal space, hanging out with you, crashing parties, and showing the world what god is doing through you…these videos will be published on the CATALYST BACKSTAGE site as often as i possibly can so you’ll get to meet other leaders and see what’s going on in their worlds.

yes…i will be drinking a lot of red bull and no…i probably won’t be sleeping very much but having the opportunity to connect leaders with other leaders both inside and outside of the catalyst arena gets me SO pumped up!!!

HOW WE NEED YOUR HELP
in order to connect as many leaders as possible - we are going to need your help!

next week, i will have a post with sidebar widgets and buttons that will link to the CATALYST BACKSTAGE site and it will take a viral, web 2.0 miracle to spread this as wide and far as possible.

WHY?

we realize not everyone can attend catalyst so we want to be able to connect everyone as much as possible via this site through the leaders who are there chatting, through the videos and all the interaction! and we want those who are attending catalyst to be able to connect with each other as well.

so, feel free to start blogging about this now…and next week we’ll have some widgets for you…but this is so stinking exciting…i couldn’t hold it in anymore!

tomorrow…stay tuned for another amazing catalyst announcement!

can we count on your help for spreading the word?!

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yesterday we talked about balls and it offended some people.  so i thought i’d come up with a female euphemism to complete the equation today. :)

my friend brandi (who is also the boss man’s wife) and i went to lunch, and more importantly - dessert - yesterday.  we visited gigi’s cupcakes over by vanderbilt and, as boomama would say,

OH MY LANDS!!!

heaven.

cupcakes are my kryptonite. i can never say no. and now that i have been to gigi’s, i fear i will be visiting over and over and over again…and that will just be tomorrow.

what’s your favorite sweet treat?

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