Lunesta has become a close companion lately. I go through seasons of insomnia…usually about 3-4 months long, followed by 3-4 months of healthy, non-medically-induced sleep. Currently, I’m about halfway into one of those insomnia cycles.

I decided last night to see if, by chance, I’d be able to fall and stay asleep without the drugs. No such luck. I drifted off into a weird, lucid dream.

In my dream, I was given a choice to do something and the consequences would require me to leave ministry. I’d be disqualified completely. And I remember the battle I was waging in my head.

“If I make this decision, I’ll lose my job.”

“If I make this decision, I’ll never be able to speak into the lives of leaders again.”

After I woke up following a very restless night of tossing and turning, I started thinking through what my dream-self was considering and realized something disturbing.

Not one of those thoughts I had was “If I make this decision, I’ll be disobeying God.”

Now, I realize this was just a dream and the decision I was considering in it was something that would likely never cross my path…and I realize a dream doesn’t represent my full consciousness.

But if it was a real life situation, would I have asked myself the same questions, while neglecting the most important one…How does this affect my relationship with Christ?

It’s easy for me to coast through life and walk a straight line. It’s actually pretty easy for me to be the good girl. But following rules isn’t the most important thing…that should just be an overflow of a lifestyle of obedience.

Why do you make the decisions you make? Are they out of love and obedience, or out of fear for losing your position, your marriage, your ministry?

Just something to chew on.

friday, pete and i had the amazing opportunity to meet up with the guys from the catalyst road trip. if you’re not familiar with catalyst, well, you need to be. [read more about catalyst and the catalyst road trip]. if you’ve been around here for any amount of time, you probably know that i’m a bit of a conference cynic. catalyst is much, much more than a conference, and has totally won my heart!

anyway, after some fine dining at star bagel, we took them to cross point to show them what it’s like to have church inside an old baptist church building…we talked about blogging, blogging, and well, blogging.

(by the way, holy cow has my hair gotten HUGE since moving to nashville. the humidity here is nuts! why hasn’t someone told me??! big hair rivals having something between your teeth!)

i’ll let you read more about what talked about here on their blog, but i have to say, it was such an honor connecting with these guys.

have you ever been to catalyst? are you going this year? if you are…i’d love to connect. i’ll be there doing some undercover spy work.

Some more tidbits from Mad Church Disease. This is from a survey conducted by Ellison Research.

71% of all ministers admitted to being overweight by an average of 32.1 lbs. One-third of all ministers were overweight by at least 25 lbs, including 15% who were overweight by 50 lbs or more.

Two-thirds of all pastors skip a meal at least one day a week, and 39% skip meals three or more days a week.

83% eat food once a week that they know they shouldn’t because they’re unhealthy, including 41% who do this three or more days a week.

88% eat fast food at least one day a week, and 33% eat fast food three or more days a week.

50% get the recommended minimum amount of exercise (30 minutes/day, three times a week). 28% don’t exercise at all.

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Anyone surprised?

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EDIT: According to the center for disease control, the percentages for adults over 20 years old:

- 66.3% are overweight or obese with 32% being obese (30 pounds or more).

So it seems the pastor sub-section might be a little higher than a national average.

Shawn Wood, the Experiences Pastor at Seacoast Church, has started a blog tour to support his new book, 200 Pomegranates and an Audience of One which releases September 2008 and is available for pre-order now at Amazon.com.

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Anne: Well it looks like everyone who has done the blog tour so far has made some type of joke in their first question so far about Pomegranates, so I will spare you any humor there. But what’s the book about and why would I want to read it?

Shawn: Well, first of all Anne, I am so excited to be able to stop by THE flowerdust.net…wow. We met through the blogosphere and then were able to hang just a bit at MinistryCOM this past year - which I am excited to see you are speaking at this year - and it’s been great to learn from you and see your journey develop with your book Mad Church Disease.

Mechanics are artists. No longer is art limited to painters and musicians. Each one of us is an artist, endowed by our Creator with skills and talents that can make our world a more beautiful place. Every good mom is an artist, molding her children as a creation of God. Every teacher makes a mark on the young people in his classroom. Every ethical businessperson leaves a legacy of people seeing God through his or her careful and honest work.

Anne: Well, you were nice enough to let me read your manuscript in its early stages and it captivated me. Your gift of storytelling, when combined with your passion for artistry, makes for an inspiring read. I know this is hard to decide as an author, but what was your favorite part of the book?

Shawn: The stories. The book is simply me telling areas I have blown it. Areas I have learned from people older than me. Areas that I have figured it out with God’s help and some of the dumb stuff I have done while trying to live the life of a Christ follower. The book highlights the life of a Dentist, a working Mom of an Autistic child, a wonderful wife and home keeper, a Pastor, and a Welder to show that God can use the life of ordinary people to do extraordinary things. Everyone who has read the books has said, “man this book will be great for a _______________” and filled in the blank with a different noun. That was the book I was trying to write.

Anne: So what do you hope readers will do after reading it?

Shawn: At the end of the book I have a prayer that I would hope would be the heart-beat of someone who had read, experienced and responded to the stories and scripture presented in this book:

God, I pray that you would remind me that you created me for a life of meaning and influence, ultimately to bring you fame. I pray that you would continue this work in me in me and hone my skills, talents and spiritual gifts in such a way that you would be honored by my greatness. As I walk in this journey, God, I pray that you would show me what to do, teaching me what the passion of my life should be. Along that journey, I pray that you would allow me to have the courage and the integrity to do something meaningful with my life. Lord, teach me to see the needs of others as you see them, and to invest in your other people your prized possessions. When I do this, I pray that it would be a beacon that shines on you. God, as I do these things I pray that you would be my audience. That my love and adoration would be for you and that you alone would get my praise. And lastly, God, allow me the grace to finish the race well. I look forward to seeing you and hearing you say, “well done.” Lord, give me your strength to finish strong in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Anne: When will people be able to pick it up and how can they help spread the word?

Shawn: The book will be available in September of 2008. In fact I am so excited to be releasing the book at Granger Church’s Innovate conference. It will be available through Abingdon press through Amazon, Barnes and Noble or as they say in the biz, wherever fine books are sold.

Thanks so much for letting me have a few hundred words of your time! Carve Pomegranates!

You can also download a sample of Shawn’s book right here, right now!

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Any other books you are looking forward to reading?

I was recently reading through some old drafts I had written and saved. In the fall of 2005, I wrote this after listening to an Erwin McManus podcast. He said,

“We need to reclaim the movement of Jesus Christ - it’s not the place where people are forced to conform and be standardized. But a place where people are seen as unique and find their originality in Jesus Christ. …I think those of us who have been entrusted with followers of Christ must not simply cast vision and call people to it; We must create visional environments where dreams and visions of those who work with us and serve under at times, have their dreams and visions set free and ignited.”

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Is the modern church today producing carbon copy, standardized Christians or are we, as leaders, helping release God’s unique calling in each believer? As the Church, are we helping build and release others’ dreams or do we focus on our own?

everyday, we set examples.

(even in the tiniest bits of minutia.)

how we drive.

what we wear.

what we buy.

how we spend our time.

my hot hubs shared a podcast with me (here)…which honestly and boldly notes that christians are the worst at taking a day off. finding rest. family time.

we operate 24/7.

and with that in mind, more specifically, i’d like to ask…

those of you who are pastors…what kind of example are you setting for the team that supports you? even if you don’t push them to go-go-go-all-the-time-like-you, what does your example say to them?

those of you who are leaders…what kind of example are you setting for those who follow you?

even if you don’t think you’re a leader, you are. someone’s watching. your kids. your spouse. the girl who doesn’t talk a lot that sits in the cubicle across from you. your team. maybe even your boss.

what kind of example are you setting?

just a little something to chew on today.