FlowerDust.net | Anne Jackson

WE ARE MOVING FROM OKC TO NASHVILLE!!!

June 27, 2003 - We got married.

June 27, 2008 - We are moving to Nashville.

Since we have been slowly leaking this information (work, family, friends)…I thought I’d try and answer most of the questions we have been getting…

Q: Didn’t you, like, just move to OKC?
A: Yes. Actually it will be six months to the day when we unload the moving truck in Nashville.

Q: Why are you moving so soon?
A: Why not? Actually, my husband has an amazing opportunity to do what he loves and earn a living doing it (film/music), and I have been praying for ways to support that. Be careful when you pray for something…about a month or so of praying about this, an opportunity fell in his lap, and we couldn’t say no. IT ROCKS TO SEE MY MAN PASSIONATE AND THRIVING!!!! Anyway, God has taken care of the rest in ways I could have never imagined.

Q: God’s taken care of the rest…what do you mean?
A: Like a place for us to serve and a place for me to use my gifts in an amazing local church (Cross Point Church in Nashville) with a great team of people (including these bloggers who I will be on staff with: Pete, Jenni, Pat, Chad, Matt, George, Jarrod. You also should check out these blogs: Brandi (Pete’s wife), Brian (He’s an elder) and LukeGiant Idiot (who’s a giant idiot), Kari, Jessica and Julie are also Cross Point peeps I have gotten to know!! )

Nashville also holds a bunch of welcoming friends…some who I have known since high school, others from the trip to Africa, and even more from our last few visits. I have no doubt this is the tribe I’ve written about in the past. We also found an incredible and insanely affordable place to live, exactly in the area we were hoping to live. And it all happened with perfect timing.

Q: So, what about LifeChurch.tv?
A: What can I say?? The last few months have been unreal and wonderful! Even though we have only lived here for six months, I’ve actually been working with Bobby and Terry for about a year. I never knew God could show me so much in such a short amount of time. I feel I should clarify (because unfortunately people typically assume there is something “more” going on that what meets this eye) There’s NO drama. NO scandal. Bobby didn’t throw chairs at me when I told him. We are honored to be walking away with their support, blessings and encouragement. We will miss everyone dearly. They have shaped and influenced us in so many ways. We are very excited and at the same time, not a day has gone by where I haven’t cried because we are really going to miss these amazing people.

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT!

I know we would both appreciate your prayers as we pack, say goodbye, and travel two days (June 27 and 28) to Nashville.

INVITATION TO PARTY!! (Or so I call it…) If you are in the Nashville area and want to help us unload (we don’t have a lot of stuff, I promise!) shoot me an email (anne [at] flowerdust [dot] net) and I will hook you up with the details.

I’ll share a little bit more this week some things we love about Cross Point Church and how everyone there has been an answer to our prayers as we have (quickly!) been put on a new and exciting journey!

ALWAYS HOPING!
Anne

how twitter saves lives

maybe i am exaggerating a bit, but given a little wider tornado, or a little faster wind, the tornado that hit edmond, oklahoma last night could have been much worse, and many more of my friends could have been in danger.

chris and i live in downtown. we went to bed around 12:30 after it appeared the tornado-producing storms were weakening. an hour later, the sirens went off downtown. i jumped out of bed and turned on the tele.

the only rotation was in edmond, which is where my office is and two of the lifechurch.tv oklahoma city campuses reside. as well as most of my okc friends. like terry. and sunny. and john. and john. and aaron.

i heard on the news that power just went out to the west side of edmond where the storm was. my friends began twittering about the power loss from their phones.

since we were totally in the clear, chris and i stayed up and kept our friends informed of the weather.

tornado on the ground.

over broadway.

even though they were hiding in closets and basements, they could know exactly where the tornado was because of twitter.

and they could know when the coast was clear.

i know twitter is all about friends and fun and updates and random 140 character bits of life, but in situations like this, i wonder how powerful it will be…

what if twitter was around during 9-11? during bigger storms? hurricanes? earthquakes? blackouts?

i think twitter can save lives - and i think it will. (remember, read the tweets from the bottom up in order for them to make sense!)

who are you and what have you done with me?

there is something really weird in the water here in OKC.

i’m not sure what it is, but it has completely reworked my DNA.

anne jackson circa 2008 has taken me by surprise. she is, kind of, dare i say (i shall) more confident? she is, kind of, dare i say (i shall) more outgoing?

she is.

anne jackson circa 2006 would have never waved wildly at a stranger who she *thinks* she recognizes from facebook…she would have never talked for fifteen minutes to the lady in the lobby of her apartment…

there are a bunch of other little things i have done over the last couple of weeks, and in the last couple of days in particular, that would never have gone through my head and now those things seem more comfortable, more a fit.

wow.

needless to say, the past two days as i get settled in my office at lifechurch.tv have been nothing short of incredible. i’ve so enjoyed finally getting to meet you all, and thank you for making me feel so at home. (and for fixing my email a million times).

i heart this place.

a courageous tale of grace - chapter 5

cindy wraps it up…

Better Than New

I remember telling my husband many, many weeks after his confession something that he couldn’t believe. We had been walking out our new life the best we knew how. We had embraced our new surroundings and jobs. We had begun to heal. And I told him that if I had the choice to go back to our old life, that I wouldn’t do it. He was pretty surprised to hear me say that. I mean, after all the pain his actions caused me, here I am telling him that I’m thankful that I endured it so that we could have what we have now.

Our pastor, Craig, preached to our congregation at the Edmond Campus about Chris’ confession and told them “we are going to believe God that they will be better than new”. He wasn’t kidding. Neither were they. We are so better than new. We are better than we ever imagined. We are better than anybody thought we’d ever be.

Chris and I are best friends and our marriage is blessed with an increasing passion for each other. (Ahem) We have had countless opportunities to minister to couples and individuals who are walking through similar challenges. (I expect this to increase as I’ve recently finished writing a book of a more detailed account of our journey.) Chris’ son has become one of the greatest blessings to our family. My relationship with his mother is so extraordinary that many jaws hit the floor when I describe it. Chris’ influence and impact at LifeChurch.tv continues to humble him as he never thought he’d ever participate in ministry again. Most importantly, my heart is full. My cup runneth over. I have a man who adores me and isn’t afraid to show it. And my trust in him is growing daily.

There are many things I don’t know in life. I don’t understand algebra. Just don’t get all that abstract math. I don’t get how a heavy airplane can stay up in the sky and not fall to the ground. I know it’s about jets and thrust and stuff like that, but it still doesn’t make sense to me. I wish I knew why innocent people have to suffer. If I did, I’d bottle up the formula to fix their problems and give it away. Don’t know lots of things.

But, here’s what I do know.

According to the Bible, I serve a big God. He created the Universe in less than a week. He formed mountains and scooped out valleys with His hands. He is everywhere, all the time. He can change a heart with the snap of his fingers. He can bring sight to a blind man with some dirt and saliva. He can part a sea and allow his people to cross on dry land. He can make walls fall down with the blast of a trumpet. He can keep a man from being eaten by lions. He can bring forth a child through a virgin. He can turn a Pharisee into a martyr for Christ. He can transform a fisherman into a minister of the gospel. He brings peace that no one can explain. He is truly a remarkable God. My marriage is living proof.

I remember asking God one day how He was going to take this awful situation and use it for His good (Romans 8:28). Tears were streaming down my face and I had no idea how I would survive this. God spoke ever so gently to my heart and here is what He said:

God: Remember when you told me that you would go through anything in order to bring glory to my name? Me: Uh-huh, sniff, sniff.
God: I’m taking you up on your offer.

Trust Him.

He is faithful and loving and kind and tender and good and miraculous and
amazing. He will carry you when you can walk no more and He will strengthen you when you need to make the journey. He is true to His word and will do what He says he is going to do. I promise because He promises and He does not disappoint.

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a courageous tale of grace - chapter 4

god’s grace is nothing short of amazing!

Let the Healing Begin

The morning I woke up to head back to Oklahoma from Texas was the first morning in weeks that peace was upon me. Actually, peace covered me like a blanket and let me tell you, it was well received. While it was only a few weeks in the pit of despair, it felt like a lifetime.

Chris greeted us with open arms and a warm home. He’d spent that week grieving himself and hoping his wife would return to give it another shot. We were about to embark on the most difficult road ever…the road to healing and restoration.

While there were plenty who were skeptical of Chris’ heart, he proved to be the real deal. Many men in his situation might have waited to find a “better” job…one more comparable to his previous one. Chris, on the other hand, only wanted to provide for his family doing whatever was necessary. He began selling 2X4’s at a local home improvement store and did that successfully for 18 months.

It is not by accident that I landed a part-time position at LifeChurch.tv just six weeks after Chris’ resignation. I was around the lead pastors on a daily basis and I’m sure my face was a litmus test as to the condition of our marriage. Not only that, but these amazing men and our congregation, led by our senior pastor, Craig Groeschel, supported and loved us from day one. Many ministers who fall into this type of sin end up next to the curb. Even though it was difficult, my pastor and friend took the narrow road for which I am forever grateful.

Chris began to build back my trust in him. He was accountable to a few and never once got defensive when I needed to share how I felt. As we endured the pain and the consequences of his actions, I committed to God that I would not throw Chris’ sin back in his face. Frankly, I didn’t need to…the man lived in brokenness. And still, to this day, he has NEVER been defensive when I have asked questions or when I tell him I’m hurting. He will tell you that he is willing to spend the rest of his life working to rebuild my trust if that’s what it takes. Isn’t that amazing?

I mentioned that Chris only worked at the home improvement store for 18 months. His length of time there was only cut short by the new role that Craig offered him at LifeChurch.tv. And within a year of his new position there, he’d be leading the same campus where he fell some two and half years earlier. Talk about kicking Satan in the… I’m sorry, did I say that out loud?

We are not at the end. The restoration is progressing, but not over. We still have our days where it hurts. Days where we re-live it when others go through a similar situation. Days where we have to explain to our 8-year old why he has a brother who is not his mother’s child. And the fact that we have an amazing relationship with Chris’ son and his mom is nothing short of a modern-day miracle in itself.

Come back tomorrow. More good news is on the way.

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a courageous tale of grace - chapter 2

cindy continues bravely sharing her story…

What Now?

Within thirty minutes, a couple of our pastors came over to our house. Their attempts to even speak were futile. I was crying, Chris was scared for his life and they sat across from us hoping they’d wake up soon. After learning the news, they left and I was alone with my husband. I hated him and I loved him and I didn’t want him near me and I wanted him to hold me. I wanted details and he reluctantly shared them. I wanted dates but he could not supply them. I wanted to know why he did this to me…to us. For that, he had an answer.

Pornography.

Seriously? I thought he struggled with looking at a few naked girls from time to time on the internet. I thought he wasn’t struggling with this very much anymore. I thought we were communicating fairly well on this subject. I thought that’s why he met with his accountability group on Fridays. I thought.

I was married to a full-blown porn addict. He explained that simply viewing images of naked women no longer appealed to him. He needed something more. His sickness grew and grew and gave birth to more repulsive desires. Eventually, after years of progression, this sin completely entangled him and he acted out.

As you can imagine, my husband’s resignation was forthcoming. Had he been employed in the corporate world, that wouldn’t have been necessary. But a pastor at a church? (You do the math.) His resignation brought even more death to my broken heart. Not only was our marriage deeply wounded and more than likely beyond repair, my ministry was lost, too. I would no longer be singing on the stage that had become my home in ministry for the past several years. No longer would I be pouring into mentoring relationships with women. Now, I was the one who needed to be ministered to. This role was not something I was accustomed to at all.

Next to our marriage being absolutely torn to shreds, the most devastating part was trying to go about some semblance of a life for the heart of our 3-year old. I tried to hide my tears from him but that was a feat far too difficult to perfect. One day he walked in on me when I was crying and said, “Why you so sad fo mommy?”

What in the world was I supposed to do.

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and, if you’d like a little flowerdust in your day, i have a guest blog posted up at swerve. :)

a courageous tale of grace - chapter 1

before cindy and i had even exchanged one word, her story had impacted me. i’ve been good friends, close friends, practically best friends, with a handful of people in ministry who had fallen to sexual sin. it has always broken my heart how, for the most part, the churches and ministries these people had invested into kick people to the curb with a trite “jesus loves you and so do we,” leaving the broken families alone to put together the pieces of their lives.

it just isn’t right.

when i was interviewing at life, they asked if i had questions, and one of the biggest ones was, “have you ever had a ‘moral failure’ on your staff and if so, where are those people today?”

i was told the story of a pastor who confessed to several affairs, and how he was removed from his position on staff, but over the last several years, because of his repentant heart and humble spirit, has been restored and now serves as a leader on their staff.

the church family surrounded him, walked through his consequences with him, and was there to help his family heal.

the way it should be.

cindy is someone i am really looking forward to getting to know better (over diet dr. peppers at sonic). :) she is opening up her life to the public and sharing her story this week on her blog. since we are in the midst of our last week at work, and moving in a few days, i am going to be posting her story here, but closing the comments so you can interact with her on her blog.

here goes:

our story - chapter 1

The day was Tuesday. February 19, 2002, to be exact. Although my husband, Chris, had completed six weeks as the new worship pastor at our church in Edmond, Oklahoma, we’d only spent three nights in our new home. Unexpectedly, he walked through the front door at 9 somethin’ in the morning. Attempting to inch my way through a plethora of boxes, I looked up and saw the face of the man I’d loved for nearly 10 years. And the man who was soon to break my heart. Chris walked toward me and asked if we could “talk.” The look on his face said enough. Something was wrong.

After getting Noah settled watching a Blue’s Clues video, Chris motioned for me to sit on the newly purchased sofa that had arrived just 24 hours before as we were beginning our new life in a new town. My heart began to palpitate as the next several minutes consisted of him confessing to numerous affairs with numerous women from numerous places. I heard the cracking of my heart as he spoke and felt the devastation setting in almost immediately. As if that information was not enough to handle, he also informed me that one of the women was pregnant and he was pretty sure the baby was his child.

You have got to be kidding me. He was not.

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