FlowerDust.net | Anne Jackson

weekend thought: what is influence?

a friend of mine was talking about mother theresa yesterday…how she was significantly influential, but “to influence” was never her pursuit…” she only wanted to love and care for the sick, the unloved, the least, the dying. to allow the actions of jesus to be expressed in her everyday life.

it made me think of this quote from an oswald chamber’s sermon:

“The people who influence us the most are not those who detain us with their continual talk, but those who live their lives like the stars in the sky and “the lilies of the field”— simply and unaffectedly. Those are the lives that mold and shape us.

If you want to be of use to God, maintain the proper relationship with Jesus Christ by staying focused on Him, and He will make use of you every minute you live— yet you will be unaware, on the conscious level of your life, that you are being used of Him.”

i pray to be this kind of influencer.

the grass is greener [on the other side of the world]

i’ve noticed from the “introduce yourself” post that quite a few of my blog readers are from australia. i’ve subscribed to their blogs now and with each read i more and more find myself wanting to move there. it’s autumn there, you know.

lately, i’ve also been in touch with some friends from scotland. i even had a lady from an ad agency in edinburgh email me last week asking for my CV (resume) and art portfolio, completely out of the blue. talk about temptation! i sent it along, knowing full well we can’t afford to move overseas, or afford to apply for the HSMP to get our visas.

all of this comes down to my struggle with contentment…being happy where i am at and not day dreaming of far off lands (which i hold in idealistic regard). if money were no issue, and my husband was down with it…i think my dream would be to travel and write for the rest of my life.

what would you do?

bonnie scotland

i had a dream we were back in scotland a few days ago and ever since then my heart is breaking on how much i miss it. hanging out with the petticrews, the baines, rosemary, all the wonderful people we met in glasgow, and even taking roxy for a walk with mairi up the hills behind their house…climbing all the stairs in the city centre which left me out of breath the first two weeks, sleeping with the windows open, riding the buses, letting my clothes air dry, watching everyone else eat haggis, walking princes street and rose street at 1 in the morning taking it all in, praying with each step, looking in the windows of the flats lit up with life…knowing how much more life there is yet for that city…the city of dreams as geoffrey has dubbed it as we all sat up on salisbury crags, listening to james talk with such passion as he shares god’s vision for edinburgh. we must go back. soon.

All the Scotland Pictures

Finally, we uploaded all of our Scotland pictures. Click on the one below to see them all.

Sad Eyes

Every time we leave this charming little house on Bonaly Brae, it’s like entering a different world. Last night, Chris, James, Geoffrey and I ventured out again into the City Centre. It was a little earlier than it was last week, so we didn’t see quite as much stumbling around. But within a few minutes of strolling down George Street, Princes Street, and back over to the pub-lined Rose Street, we encountered a couple who was fighting.

The guy had evidently done something to really upset the girl, who was not ashamed to let him know. She kept running off…he’d chase her…she’d run off…he’d go after her again…I wanted to grab her, to duck into some quiet corner, and let her cry. I wanted to help her find a true love that would never forsake her. That would never betray her. That would bright light back into her smile. But for last night, her eyes were so sad.

Later, we passed a girl on the street, sitting under a blanket. She couldn’t have been any older than me. I reached into my wallet to see if I had any money to give her, but all I had was a few American quarters. As we walked by, I tried making eye contact with her, but she stared straight ahead. Her eyes were so sad.

As we finished up the night, we were met by an elderly woman - probably in her sixties. You can tell from looking at her yellowed, spotted skin she had some sort of liver disease. Alcohol had wrecked her body and mind. She asked for some money, but none of us had any.

At some point, this old, homeless lady was a baby girl. A child with hope in her laugh and skin as smooth and soft and rosy and that has a scent which only comes from a small child’s skin (and that is a mix of the smells of babypowder and what I’d imagine the sun smells like.) I’m sure at some point she had a best friend. She had a doll. She became a young woman. She fell in love. She stared up into the night sky and dreamed.

But last night, those eyes that may have held so much promise and light were sad. Her eyes were so sad.

As we got in the car to leave, there was a girl sitting in front of some flats. She was dressed to go out, but she was sitting alone, having a smoke, and staring off into space. Her lips were turned down at the corners. Her shoulders, slumped over; her head, resting inside her other hand. For some reason, her eyes seemed the saddest of all. I’m not sure why.

As loud as the nightlife is here in Edinburgh, there’s a haunting silence. It’s a quietness you can’t hear, only see. It’s a quietness that has given up hope. Given up love. Given up meaning.

It’s a quietness I’ll remember long after I leave.

(Painting: Untitled, Wisam Rady)

The Prodigal Church

Read the following familiar passage - the Parable of the Prodigal Son. This is what we studied on today before heading out to do surveys & interviews. Before leaving, we discussed it.

Something illuminated to me as we contemplated was how the Church can be compared to both of the sons. I’m sure this wasn’t the intent, but hey, the Word is a living thing, right? There are churches who represent both sons - the one who wandered away, chased meaningless things, and was left alone in the time of famine. Yet he wised up, humbled himself and came back. His father rejoiced.

The other son could represent the churches who have always been busy about “the Lord’s Work.” They’ve spent tireless hours, blood, sweat and tears and get a little grumpy when they don’t see the joy the father has over a renewed breath of life.

I am praying for a fresh spirit to go through our churches. Those who have knowingly or unknowingly wandered will have their hearts softened to return, and for those who have been around for seemingly all time, to be open to new life and celebrate the bride returning to her bridegroom.

Your thoughts?

And He said, “A man had two sons.

“The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the estate that falls to me ‘ So he divided his wealth between them.

And not many days later, the younger son gathered everything together and went on a journey into a distant country, and there he squandered his estate with loose living.

Now when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country, and he began to be impoverished.

So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

And he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods that the swine were eating, and no one was giving anything to him. But when he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger! I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired men.”‘

So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.

And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet; and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.’ And they began to celebrate. Now his older son was in the field, and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing.

And he summoned one of the servants and began inquiring what these things could be.

And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has received him back safe and sound.’ But he became angry and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him.

But he answered and said to his father, ‘Look! For so many years I have been serving you and I have never neglected a command of yours; and yet you have never given me a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends; but when this son of yours came, who has devoured your wealth with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him.’

And he said to him, ‘Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours. But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live, and was lost and has been found.’”

Haggis!

You get to watch it.

We had to try it.