where is a place you’ve never been but have always wanted to go?

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now, let me preface this by saying i am not a doctor or a psychologist (although i’ve been to more than my fair share of both) :-)  however, here are some common myths about depression i thought we’d remove so that everyone can have a better understanding.

why are you depressed?  i thought you loved your new job and it seems like stuff is going well for you.

you’re right.  i love my new job and things are going great.  for the first time, we’re not financially stressed out in our marriage, the relationships i have are incredible and i have never felt more at home than i do in nashville.  all of my external circumstances are awesome!  too bad depression isn’t caused by any of them.  sure, environments can influence ups and downs, but a lingering bit of sadness or feelings of low self worth means it’s probably something more.

to further prove this point, last year at this time i was going through probably one of the toughest times in my life.  i had an awful, no good, very bad situation i was walking through over the course of late fall and early winter.  on top of that, i was also weaning off of anxiety medication (stressful!), writing a book (stressful!), and getting ready to move from dallas to oklahoma city (stressful!)

but you know what? i had absolutely no symptoms of depression at all.  nada.

don’t worry.  if you trust god more, he’ll bring you through.

thanks for the kind and faithful words. and i don’t doubt that.  but depression generally has little to do with someone’s relationship with god.   if that were the case, every person without faith would be miserable and every person with faith would be happy all the time.   can i afford to spend more time with god? absolutely. depression isn’t caused by a bad relationship with god or healed by a good one.  if anything, i have to lean even more into that relationship (and the relationships with my husband and friends) to get the strength i need during the seasons of depression.

so, you wrote this book on burnout and you talk about being emotionally healthy.  your past struggles with this and your current struggle doesn’t really give the best example.  what gives you the right to write about this?

i won’t lie. that email hurt (and that is just a small snippet of it).  and the thoughts of my own human inadequacies haunt me all the time when i ask myself, “really, what authority do i have to speak into this topic? i’m struggling right there!” fortunately, i got another email after this one that said this.

Listen, your struggle doesn’t mean you are broken as a person, and it doesn’t make you less spiritual.  The devil is going to lie to you and say you have no business writing about Mad Church Disease with this going on.  Don’t give in to that lie!  Your experience and even your struggles uniquely qualify you to speak authoritatively on this subject.  God uses our weaknesses to demonstrate His strength in us.  I believe our precious Lord wants to take what the enemy meant to destroy you and use it to bring glory to Jesus.

that answer was for both the person who wrote the first email, and the demons that walk around in my brain.  but i know that question is something probably a lot of us wrestle with: what qualifies us to do the work we do when we screw up all the time?

grace.

so there you have it.  depression has little to do with your environment, relationship with god, and capacity to be used in this world.  it has much to do with our bodies’ brokenness, chemical imbalances, and the hand we’re dealt.  we honestly have very little control over it.

what we do have control over is how we manage it if we have it, or how we treat others who are struggling.

both require a little patience, a little wisdom, and a lot of love.

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i’m at a point in my personal faith where i have more questions than answers.  where i know the scriptures are divinely composed, yet i question the way i’ve been taught to interpret them over the last twenty years.  in sunday school, they seldom teach you about historical cultural context or literary patterns of the hebrew language.  scripture is timeless, but for the most part, we have taken the words and filtered them through a 21st century, westernized lens.

lots. of. questions.

atop of my questions are positioned relationships i have with those who don’t believe in god the way most of us do, if they believe at all.  most of these insights have challenged me to think about the words of jesus…his obvious call…and what should be our obvious answer.

my friend kary oberbrunner has a book coming out in the next couple weeks or so called the fine line.  since he is also a zondervan author, i begged and pleaded to get a copy early.  they gave in.  and it rocks.

here’s a nifty video about the book, and a sample chapter from the book.

one of my favorite parts of the book (granted, he uses proper capitalization) says,

“i’m not afraid to admit it: the sermon on the mount contains some startling commands.  like matthew 5:40: ‘if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.’ or matthew 5:42: ‘give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.’ or matthew 5:48: ‘be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly father is perfect.’

no wonder we look for ways to get ourselves off the hook of following these difficult sayings.  we toss out rationalizations.  ‘maybe they’re metaphors.’ ‘maybe they’re about some future time.’ ‘maybe they’re just suggestions.’

i think it’s christians who live like they’re ‘off the hook’ who cause people like mahatma gandhi to become critical of our religion.  he saw a disconnection between the way jesus lived and the way christians live.  because of this gandhi said, ‘if it weren’t for christians, i’d be a christian.’ gandhi didn’t disagree with jesus’ teachings.  he went on record to say, ‘i like your christ, but i don’t like your christians.’ and those of us who know gandhi’s story understand the sobering reality that he embodied the ethics described by jesus on the mount better than most christians.”

it is here where i wrestle.  why do people who understand, yet officially don’t associate with christianity live more transformed lives than we do?  why do those of us who say we believe fail to live like we are transformed by what we believe?

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this contest is easy to win. it goes to the highest bidder.

(welp, ego…it was nice knowing you!) :-)

whoever donates the most pairs of shoes to the 50000shoes.com website between 6 am CST tuesday and 6 am CST wednesday wins. and i’ll even autograph it with your favorite bible verse, sprinkle holy water on it, engrave your name in gold, give you a bronze dove plaque, and throw in some snacks from my desk.

click here to read more stories of where your shoes are going!

oh, and here’s the icing on the cake. more truthfully, it’s probably the actual cake. be the highest bidder and not only will you get a hyper-anointed copy of MCD, you’ll also get an autographed copy of seth godin’s newest book, tribes. i know that’s nothing like snacks from my desk, but thought it might sweeten the deal. who knows? maybe he’ll throw in some snacks from his desk.

comment below (and yep, i’ll need proof if you are the highest donor if you do win!)

ready…go! how many shoes did you donate today?

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two years ago, it got pretty nasty and i blogged about it a little bit. but last year, i really can’t say that it even affected me.

this year, it’s back to rearing its ugly head. it’s been about six weeks now and that dark cloud hasn’t left yet.

i’ve decided this time around, it’s time to try chemical help again. last time i was on medication, it didn’t help so much (in fact, it just made it worse), but a pastor and friend i deeply respect has recommended trying something new. he’s battled it for over thirty years, while leading a very large church. he has a ton of insight. he even wrote a book about it.

all this to say a few things: if you suffer from depression, i’m sorry. i know how it envelops your soul, your life, your joy, and turns you into someone you don’t want to be. if you’re married to or friends with someone who has depression, thank you for supporting them. it’s not a fun place to be either and i’m sure a lot of the time, you feel helpless and you don’t understand it. and that’s okay. and if you’re reading this, you know what? i could sure use your prayers and i bet a few of you could use mine.

again, depression isn’t something i like talking about much because, well, it’s pretty depressing. i don’t like being depressing. i like being the girl who has everything all figured out and her life’s all put together perfectly.

(let me let you in on a little secret - that’s SO far from the truth!!!)

on the other hand, depression is something many of us face one way or another, and i just wanted to say you’re not alone.

and i’m pretty sure that i’m not either.

===

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speaking of yesterday, i met an audio engineer on my flight to grand rapids. somehow, we got on to the topic of where americans spend money, and what our responsibility is to help others and i told him about my trip to uganda. i shared with him my breaking moment of stepping into annette’s house, where six people lived in a 6×6 room. that her rent was $9 a month and she was having trouble keeping up. i had probably spent $9 in the airport for my breakfast.

the opportunities for us to do a world of good in a world of scarcity are endless.

many people in the states are feeling the pressure of a maybe-almost recession. people are losing their jobs and their homes. yet i wonder if we will ever truly get to an economical state where we really discover need versus want. even here in america, it blows my mind that we have such an imbalance in our distribution of wealth. that there is so much homelessness and poverty, yet most of us can still comfortably afford a $3 cup of coffee or a $40 meal out. that most of us don’t think twice about spending $200 on a christmas tree or $75 on a pair of jeans.

i’m not sure what all this means…except that i am hoping we are all waking up. we’re waking up realizing we’re not alone, and none of us are guaranteed a safety net woven together with five dollar bills. that while we have it good, we should help others. because in the next moment, we may be the ones in need.

how can we do this? it’s counter-cultural. downsizing, living with less intentionally, and giving more to others. not putting quite so much stock into our 401k and maybe putting more into our neighbor who just lost his job.

idealistic? maybe. but i have hope in mankind. i think (and pray, really, really pray) that we’ll do the right thing, even now…as we sip our lattes and sleep safely in our cozy, heated homes. we can do it.

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little did i remember, the FCS home office and zondervan’s offices are in the same building. so yesterday, when i walked into zondervan, it was like a crazy flash back. who would have known i would be back?

today i spend most of my day in meetings with all the people who have worked so hard on mad church disease - my editiors, designer, marketing guy, and a few others in different departments as well. it has been so awesome to see the inner workings of a publisher!

also today, most of us GET PAID!

we are almost at 4000 shoes on the 50,000 shoes website. i challenged the facebook group of 1000 members to all give 5 bucks today (at least!) and so i am challenging you to do the same as well. some of you have already given and i appreciate that, but since it’s payday (and someone suggested the great idea of reposting the need on payday!) here i am. i am going to go donate a few pairs.

it’s my goal to you guys and the facebook group to get it to 8000 shoes by the weekend. i know we can do it…especially if all of us just do our small parts.

visit the site here to see how many shoes we have donated and how much time we have left!

see you guys soon. and thank you.

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“Please pray for our team in South Asia as they execute an operation on a large brothel today. Pray for continued good cooperation with the police and safety for our staff as they enter an especially dangerous situation. Pray that the girls would be rescued quickly as they are currently suffering very violent treatment.”

read more. think twice today.

sponsor a child
donate some shoes

and pray.

today, the world has been heavy on my heart. as i pick up my soon-to-be spoiled bananas, throw away my grocery receipts, hang up my dry cleaning, and get ready to eat overpriced airport food…i am constantly reminded the world is broken, yet in its disparity, has potential for so much hope…

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just in case you were wondering. i’m sure you were.

so here are a couple of random facts for you on this fine autumn tuesday:

-nine years ago i read my last fiction book until friday, when i finally read the shack (and since some of you may ask, i loved it. especially after spending some time with the author at catalyst.)

most recently, i’ve been reading nashville author chris coppernoll’s a beautiful fall, which honestly, i wasn’t sure what to expect since i haven’t really read any fiction lately. i have to admit…the book is amazing, and i think fiction is growing on me as a new escape.

-what do donald miller, brian mclaren, jon acuff, shaun groves and i have in common? read here. it may or may not involve jock straps.

-so far we have almost raised enough money for close to 3000 pairs of shoes through the 50000shoes.com campaign. that is HUGE! financially, that’s almost $7,500, which, in less than 48 hours is ah-maz-ing.

can i be honest? it’s also super scary. that is FORTY SEVEN THOUSAND shoes away from the goal. and yes, i realize we have 47 days left but i’m already getting a little nervous. interestingly enough, there have only been a few hundred transactions…so most people are giving more than $5…meaning there are a lot of people who haven’t donated yet…which is confusing yet shows there’s a ton of potential!

this is where i want to eat your brains.

how do you think we can build some sustainability into this campaign? turn one-time $5 donors into multiple donations? increase influence and awareness?

i’d love to hear your thoughts.

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i’ve been talking about a secret project i’ve been working on the last few weeks…today’s the official launch day!

IT’S THE LAUNCH OF 50000SHOES.COM!

soles4souls is an amazing charity here in nashville that has one mission: get shoes to people who need shoes. over 300 million people around the world don’t have shoes and are forced to walk around unsafe and in potentially life-threatening conditions. not only is it unsafe physically, but having to look down all the time causes these people to also live without dignity and confidence.

just a few weeks ago, i was meeting with wayne elsey, the founder and CEO of s4s and he asked me what is the craziest thing we could do using social media to meet this huge need? what kind of ridiculous goal could we create? and literally ten minutes later we had the answer.

let’s get money raised for 50,000 shoes in 50 days and make it as easy as possible for people to not only donate online, but to spread the word about the campaign. the only way this goal can be reached is if you not only donate $5, but spread the word!

HOW DOES IT WORK?
go to 50000shoes.com. a $5 donation buys two pairs of shoes.

everyone has $5 (or more!). and everyone has 2 minutes. from start to finish, donating is literally three clicks. no fluff. no hassle. anyone can donate. it is so, so easy!

and it’s easy to spread the word. use the graphics on your blog. email everyone you know. join the facebook group and ask your friends to do the same!

YOU CAN WIN A TRIP TO GIVE SOMEONE THEIR FIRST PAIR OF SHOES!
besides the fact that the blogging world can literally impact 50,000 people before the end of the year, one person (and their guest) will be chosen at random to hand deliver the shoes they purchased on a s4s trip to mexico. can you imagine handing someone their very first pair of shoes? it could be a child. or it could be a mother. or a father. or a grandmother. who knows?!

PLEASE DON’T CLICK AWAY…
we could have made the goal attainable - like 5000 shoes in 50 days. i have no doubt that could happen. but we wanted to show a watching world the positive power of social media. we wanted this to be a challenge for bloggers and people to unite in a way never before seen!

50,000 pairs of shoes in 50 days. THAT’S HUGE!!!!!

please donate. please blog about this. please email everyone you know about this.

five bucks. three clicks. two minutes. that’s all and it can make a HUGE difference!!

THE MATH
if 500 people influence 10 people to donate, and those people influence 5 more, that’s 50,000 pairs of shoes (because remember - $5 buys 2 pairs!)…please help make this a reality! let’s blow it out of the water…can we raise enough for 100,000 pairs? I THINK SO!!!

300 million people around the world need you!

chris and i donated on friday. we are spreading the word today.

please join in! even non bloggers can help. just email everyone you know! take up a collection in your office or at your church. do you know someone in the press who can do a story on this? be creative!!!

forbes.com and cnbc.com have already picked up on this…and we have only just begun. with your help (and only with your help) this can be a worldwide movement. i truly believe it can!

are you in?

====

Nashville-based Soles4Souls(TM) facilitates the donations of both new and used shoes, which are used to aid the hurting worldwide. Since its inception, Soles4Souls has distributed more than 3.5 million pairs (or one pair every 23 seconds) to people in 61 countries, including Honduras, Romania, Thailand, and the Sudan. The charity has been featured on CNN Headline News, NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams, ABC News, FOX, CBS, and hundreds of regional outlets around North America. Soles4Souls is a 501(c)(3) recognized by the IRS; donating parties are eligible for tax advantages. Visit www.giveshoes.org for more information.

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