sometimes

i just want to turn the comments off.

i wonder if

this space becomes a boxing ring

instead of a place where truth and love

(and truth in love)

is spoken.

where grace is demonstrated.

i love a healthy discussion,

but the unhealthy ones

break

my

heart.

and i just want to hit

[delete]

but backspacing isn’t always enough.

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even though i’m a “J” temperment (highly organized, structured), i am terrible at organizing my own goals.  heck, i am terrible at even setting goals. or boundaries. or any kind of future-planning things.

as 2008 comes to a close, the year 2009 is stalking me, hiding behind every corner, threatening to attack me with it’s scythe - the crazy schedule, book things, conferences, job stuff, and oh yes, relationships - all demanding time and energy.

after going through a large stack of brown paper bags, hyperventilating in each one until they were soggy with spit, i decided that now is the ideal time to set some boundaries and goals in place for next year before next year eats me for lunch.

and thus the five focuses of anne jackson’s 2009 were born.  i’m going to really laser in on these during the first six months, and adjust if i need to.

i hereby promise to focus on these five things, and these five things alone: (listed in no particular order, and puh-lease, do not be hatin’ saying “you left god off the list.”  god is interwoven through every fiber of my being and is too worthy to be placed on a silly list. thank you.)

1) my relationship with chris

2) my job and the people of cross point community church

3) things directly related to mad church disease and investing in church leaders

4) specific relationships i feel god leading me to nurture

5) fighting injustice and poverty by supporting compassion international

the things outside of these five focuses will get cheated.  but hopefully the things in these five focuses will become rich and valuable.

i’m learning if you don’t put some intentionality behind your actions, you really will be less effective, less healthy, and way more stressed out.

how do you process goals and your future? are you a list maker? or fly by the seat of your pants?  how have you seen your style work or not work?

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i said that a lot to my husband a few years ago.

so, why the empathic disgust?  well, it’s obvious, don’t you think?  perry was bold and brash.  he had and shared his super strong opinions on church growth, how to do ministry, and a plethora of other terrible topics.  he was one of those pastors.  the ones that only cared about relevance and numbers.

a spiritual leader? pssshhhaw. what-ev-er.

and of course, the world needed to be warned.  back in my xanga blogging days, i actually encouraged people to send perry emails about a katrina relief campaign he was doing, saying how he was using a tragedy to get people into church (of all things!) i got into blog comment fights about him.  and once, i even had to ask tony morgan to remove one of the comments i left because after sleeping on it, i realized how flat out mean it was.

seriously.  perry and his blog made me so angry, i actually unsubscribed from it for a year or so.

and then my world got flipped upside down on me a few times.  i came crashing down in a pile of pride and self-righteousness and oh wow, was it ugly, and messy, and shameful.

and over the last year or so, i’ve had such clarity in how stupid i was.  how i was projecting my own lack of confidence and faith and pride and issues on perry.  i don’t know why he became the target, but he was.  i sent an email apologizing.  and perry was gracious enough not only to forgive me, but to selflessly contribute a “second opinion” section to mad church disease.

last night, i was talking to my husband chris at cracker barrel (which is what honestly sparked this whole post.  if you know anything about perry, you know his affinity for their biscuits).  and i saw the whole journey, from five years ago until now.  and how perry hasn’t changed much, but my perspective of him has.  and how that has little to do with him and more to do with the fact i stopped am trying to stop being a self-righteous jerk ball.

and i also think how i still read church blogs where someone thinks someone else’s church or ministry is awful, or how they’re doing things wrong, or for the wrong reason. or how they’re spending money inappropriately, or how “trendy” they are, or…whatever.

GET OVER IT.

that’s it. GET OVER IT.

it’s not worth it.  and if you’ve ever had the mirror turned back on you, you know exactly what i mean.

phillipians 1:18 has been a key verse in this journey of mine:

“So how am I to respond? I’ve decided that I really don’t care about their motives, whether mixed, bad, or indifferent. Every time one of them opens his mouth, Christ is proclaimed, so I just cheer them on!”

it’s easy to forget in general, but ESPECIALLY on blogs, there are so many people who aren’t believers looking in.  what kind of example are we setting?  that we’re a bunch of cry babies who can’t get along? a lot of the time…YES. that is exactly what we’re saying.

suck up the pride, bite your tongue, and listen to your momma.

if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.

people will know us by the love we have for each other.

remember that.

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happy thanksgiving.

[ht: message in hand]

==

**if you haven’t yet, donate $5 to buy 2 pairs of shoes for the needy and be entered to win a chance for two round trip southwest airlines tickets! just visit 50000shoes.com

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since it would be a wise choice, i decided to develop an author site to be the hub for all things anne jackson. it does not have a separate blog, but links here instead. anyway, many props to brad ruggles for his amazing design work on the site AnneJacksonWroteThis.com. go check ‘er out!

we have also spiced up the MadChurchDisease.com site with a new look…wanted to keep it really simple and hopefully engage people in the interactive forum (which is obviously not complete yet) but i am really looking forward to the discussion that is stirred up in that arena. we point people to it in the book and i really hope it can be a place for people to share their stories, offer encouragement and pray for each other because we are NOT in this alone!

other fun mad church things would be some places i am speaking early next year, a soon-to-be-announced contest/partnership with relevant magazine and neue, that our friends in both the UK and australia can order the book online, and that it will also be available via audio book, ebook, and symtio.  oh, and if you’re signed up for the catalyst filter, you’ll be getting a copy of it inside the aqua box!

you can still get the book for $11.55 (that’s for a hardcover!) on amazon right now.

thanks for all the MCD love and support over the last year and a half. can you believe that?!  PHEW!!!

goodness. i need a nap. :)

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first of all, anyone who donates a pair of shoes on 50000shoes.com from today until midnight (CST) on december 6 will be entered into a chance to win 2 round trip tickets for wherever southwest airlines flies!

you don’t need to leave a comment (although it would be nice to know!) because we will be tracking the entries from the 50000shoes.com site. the more shoes you buy, the greater your chances are of winning the tickets!

also, we have a special challenge during this time frame too.

if we can have 1000 shoes donated between now and december 6, we have a very special corporate sponsor who is willing to match 500 of those shoes. so, for every 2 pairs donated, this sponsor will donate 1 pair. how incredible is that?

we are currently at 6314.  we need to be at 7314 by december 6.

we have some other fun giveaways coming up, but don’t let this one pass you by. now is a great time to re-invite your blog readers, email address book people, facebook friends, and everyone you know to participate. don’t forget to tell them about winning the SWA tickets and the fact that we basically have 500 “free” shoes will be donated if we reach our goal of 1000 shoes by december 6th!

donate now…donate often! and please, for the love of thanksgiving turkey, spread the word!

=======

ABOUT THE SPONSOR

Lipo in a Box is ah-maz-ing body shapewear. Guys, you may not have a clue about this stuff, but ladies, you know where I’m going with this. We all love our Spanx. I confess, I do too. But Lipo in a Box is BETTER than Spanx. It lasts much longer and fits more comfortably.

Don’t take my word for it. Connie Elder, the brains behind Lipo in a Box, has had her products featured on Oprah, QVC, MORE Magazine, The Today Show, The View and in author Charla Krupp’s NY Times best selling book, “How Not to Look Old.”

Lipo in a Box is super excited to partner with Soles4Souls and the 50,000 Shoes campaign.  They can’t wait to chip in 500 shoes…you guys just have to show them what you’re made of and get 1000 pairs donated by December 6!  You can save money by not buying a new holiday dress - instead, getting Lipo in a Box to help you fit into that dress from last year, and put the savings to some shoes for those in need!

(interested in your company or church doing a match sponsorship? email me!)

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anyway, i just wanted to give a little love to some videos and ideas people have put together.  there are probably more out there, so i’m sorry if i haven’t found yours yet.  if you have done something cool, please leave a comment!

==

my friend and coworker jenni talks about how many shoes she owns. she decided that she’s not only donating 20% of her shoes to soles4souls, she’ll also purchase a pair for every pair she owns. so she’ll be buying 51 pairs! jenni, like me, works in a church…so she’s sacrificing eating out and not buying any new shoes during the holiday season. hello? that’s hard core!

==

bryan, who writes the blog prayers for blowouts, made this cool video and threw his kids out in the cold…

==

fellow nashvillian amigo newton dominey owns a rock climbing gym called the crag. see what their big goal for the challenge is in this video. they ended up raising enough for 108 pairs on the night this video was shot!

==

crystal’s been a friend of mine for years. last week, she asked people to give shoes in honor of her birthday. people obliged!

==

so, enjoy these creative ways to spread the word about the 50,000 pairs challenge. make your own! let us know how you’re spreading the word. and again, tomorrow, i’ll have some very cool announcements to make!

and if you haven’t, go ahead and donate some shoes! heck, even if you have, drop another $5!

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i have to admit, i’m a little nervous about it.  growing up the daughter of a small town, southern baptist preacherman, i never envisioned one day i’d be hanging out in strip clubs for jesus.

but for every ounce of nervousness, there’s about a gallon of excitement.  i can’t wait to meet these girls and let them know how beautiful they are and how loved they are.  chances are, they haven’t ever really heard that in a meaningful way before.  and yet they are so beautiful.  they are so loved.

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where is a place you’ve never been but have always wanted to go?

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