FlowerDust.net

I was having a little Twitter chat with a friend of mine yesterday - one who has been a big cheerleader in my life. After sending me a bit of encouragement about the roads I’m taking, and ones I am considering taking over the next six months to a year, he said this:

Go after the biggest dream in your heart.

I don’t know about you, but I know for me, the biggest dream in my heart is scary. It’s crazy! It doesn’t make sense.

I find myself asking, “God…is that really you?”

And yesterday I heard Him tell me, “If it doesn’t make sense, it probably is me!”

God asks us to do things that don’t make sense.

In fact, a preacher chick I admire once said to me, “there is NO NATURAL way a supernatural destiny can be mapped out….”

So as my friend said…Go after the biggest dream in your heart.

Especially the ones that don’t make sense.

God’s your provision. Get out of the way and give Him a chance to prove it to you.

What’s the biggest dream in your heart?

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Normally I reserve Thursdays for book giveaways but I discovered something today that I wanted to celebrate!

(We’ll still be doing our typical Thursday giveaway too!)

I found out that Mad Church Disease is on its third run of printing and wanted to say THANK YOU!

And as a thank you, I have five copies to giveaway! Actually…ten…one for you, and one for someone you think needs to read it!

Just leave a comment telling me one thing you are doing to stay healthy and you’ll be entered.  Use Tweet This below and be entered twice!

Good luck!

Something I am SO excited about is…

We are taking some of the core values from each chapter of the book Mad Church Disease and putting them on video so churches or staffs or groups of people can use them to help walk through the book and begin a discussion.

Oh, and the thing I’m SUPER DUPER jazzed about is that they will be completely, 100%, no strings attached FREE!

We start working on them next weekend, and before we do, I’d love to get your opinion on what makes (for lack of a better term) a “teaching video” helpful to you?

If you haven’t read MCD yet, you can download a FREE chapter (which happens to be one of my favorite chapters) here.

And I just got a case of books in a few weeks ago, so if you’d like a bulk discount on books (10+ copies) just shoot me an email. We’ll get ya hooked up.

Have a great week!

This summer I have the opportunity to meet some amazing people in some amazing places. If you’re near any of these churches, come out and say hi! I’d love to connect. And leave me a comment to let me know you’ll be there!

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May 30-31, 2009

Oak Leaf Church Weekend Services
Cartersville, GA
Saturday at 6 pm
Sunday at 9:30 & 11:15 am

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June 4, 2009

Radio Interview with Chris Fabry
Moody Radio
2:00 pm CST - Listen LIVE HERE

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July 5, 2009

Turning Point Community Church Weekend Services
Lubbock, TX
9 am & 10:30 am

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July 12

The Oaks Church Weekend Services
Red Oak (Dallas), TX
9 am & 11 am
Panel on Social Justice with Len Sweet & Pastor Scott Wilson

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By the way, I’m not speaking, but my friend Tony Morgan’s Killing Cockroaches tour will be stopping by my digs, Cross Point Church in Nashville, on July 17. I’ll be there soaking in his brillance and hope you’ll be there too!

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During Lent, I said “until next time…” to some of my online habits, including Facebook.

It’s been a struggle and a season of readjusting since returning.

I’ve been a member of Facebook for a while now - probably close to three years or so. It’s been a great place to reconnect with old friends from former lives, and to interact with people and ideas that were interesting and remarkable.

Over the last several weeks I’ve been seriously debating shutting it down completely. I’ve sat on the idea for a while, consulting friends and my own soul. As I was drawing closer to my conclusion, I never felt convicted by shutting it down…yet I tried every reason I could to justify leaving it open.

As of Sunday, my Facebook account is deleted. Not just deactivated. Deleted. Gone.

And I have no doubt this was the right thing for me to do.

Call me a purist, but I’ve lost my own innocence in it. And as such, I must retreat.

I’ll leave you with these words from Nouwen’s Inner Voice of Love. Words from a meditation in his journal upon which I am reflecting almost every day.

I pray they challenge you in the way they have challenged me. Wherever your old country, or your new country, may be.

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You have an idea of what the new country looks like. Still, you are very much at home, although not truly at peace, in the old country. You know the ways of the old country, its joys and pains, its happy and sad moments. You have spent most of your days there. Even though you know that you have not found there what your heart most desires, you remain quite attached to it. It has become part of your very bones.

Now you have come to realize that you must leave it and enter the new country, where your Beloved dwells. You know that what helped and guided you in the old country no longer works, but what else do you have to go by? You are being asked to trust that you will find what you need in the new country. That requires death of what has become so precious to you: influence, success, yes, even affection and praise.

Trust is so hard, since you have nothing to fall back on . Still, trust is what is essential. The new country is where you are called to go, and the only way to go there is naked and vulnerable.

It seems that you keep crossing and recrossing the border. For a while, you experience a real joy in the new country. But then you feel afraid and start longing again for all you left behind, so you go back to the old country. To your dismay, you discover that the old country has lost its charm. Risk a few more steps into the new country, trusting that each time you enter it, you will feel more comfortable and be able to stay longer.

–Henri Nouwen

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Fact: Kem Meyer has the coolest chick hair I’ve seen.

Fact: She’s also given one of the niftiest presentations I’ve seen.

Fact: She has a book that you need to read.

Fact: Especially if you have no background in communication and you work in a church.

Fact: Or even if you do.

Fact: I have 10 to give away.

Leave me a comment with either your biggest communications FAIL or your biggest communications WIN and you’ll be entered into the contest…next Thursday I’ll pick ten random people and you’ll get a copy of the book! Tweet this post below and you are entered twice!

Tweets about this post:
niki716 at 2009-07-03T14:19:11Z: BOOK GIVEAWAY - Less Clutter, Less Noise http://www.flowerdust.net/?p=2612

Once upon a time I wanted to kill myself.

Seriously.

I was 19…maybe 20 years old…and had an amazing life. I was earning a ton of money working at a trendy dot.com in Dallas, living in a fabulous Dallas studio over a nightclub, driving a new Mustang convertible, had a personal shopping assistant at Nordstrom (who knew my name, my size, my style, and I’d go in once a week to get what he thought was new and best for me).  When the dot.com went public, my earnings would go into six figures (it never went public, by the way) and well, everything seemed to rock.

Except I was over $40,000 in debt.

I couldn’t pay my bills.

And as I drove to my nifty little loft I looked at the parking garage and wondered if it was high enough to kill me if I jumped.

No joke.

So that was ten years ago.

Five years ago, things looked a little better. Chris and I were newlyweds. I had paid off most of my debt…well, 75% of it anyway. We bought some new fancy furniture for our new fancy apartment because we wanted to keep up with the Pottery Barn lifestyle of the suburbs of Johnson County, Kansas. So we added a few thousand more bucks to the pool of debt.

And we couldn’t pay our bills.

And we’d take out payday loans to get us by.

(Don’t ever, EVER do that.)

So that was five years ago.

Three years ago, after having an expensive gall bladder surgery (which carried a hefty price tag of $12k) we sought help from a financial counselor. We negotiated all of our credit card interest rates. We chopped them all up except for two, $300 cards only to be used in emergencies (and to keep a credit line open which is actually good for your credit score). We saved. For the first time in a long time we tithed.  We still screwed up. We still took out pay day loans. But it was getting better.

So that was three years ago.

One year ago, we paid off all of our credit cards. We only have a couple thousand left in medical bills. We still have two stupid car payments, but we will drive these cars until they rot.

In the last year, we’ve made decisions that have cut our monthly expenses almost in half. Here are some (not all) of the things we’ve done. And keep in mind…this wasn’t an overnight flip (although some of them were). We prayed, begged, negotiated, bartered and we still will continue to ask how we can better manage our finances.

• DOWNSIZING! We’re moving in June from West Nashville to Franklin (a southern suburb of Nashville)…our friends own a cottage that they are leasing to us for a more than reasonable rate. It’s small. It’s 800 square feet. It has one bedroom. It has one bathroom. We’re losing a basement, a garage, an office, and a half bath. But we are gaining a good $300/month in housing expenses because of paying less for rent, having less square footage to heat and cool, and we don’t have to rent any appliances. (Oh, and 800 sq ft forces one to declutter. I hate clutter. We moved in with 35 boxes of stuff (and I realize that isn’t a lot). It’s my goal to move out with 25 boxes. Or less.)
• EATING OUT! We limit our eating out to one meal a week (of each). One coffee, one lunch, one dinner. Sometimes we share. And we always have leftovers. This saves us about $300/month from our typical habits. It adds up.
• NO SHOWTIME! We cut our cable plan to basic cable. This saves us about $50/month.
• HELLO? No home telephone. $30/month.
• WIFI NOWHERES! We used to have a wireless card. We don’t anymore. $30/month.
• GEICO GECKO! Shopped our car insurance. Saved $150/month.
• CUT THE CARDS! Did I mention no credit cards? Saved $600/month.
• CUT THE FAT! We don’t buy much junk food. Saved $100/month. And love handles.
• SHOP THE CELL! Upcoming in December: I’m moving to Sprint and getting a Blackberry. $20/month savings over my iPhone.

Total Cutbacks: $1580/month…$18,960/year

It’s not just about cutting back, it’s about managing the money we do have better. How is that money better invested?

• THE CHURCH! Kingdom resources. We are more free to give more and more often and in more places.
• COMPASSION! We are sponsoring three kids. Soon to be four.
• LIFE INSURANCE! I don’t care who you are or how old you are - GET LIFE INSURANCE. Chris and I have ridiculous amounts of coverage for about $30/month. If one of us happened to get hit by a bus, the other one would be taken care of for life.
• SAVINGS! We don’t have a ton, and call me stupid but I don’t think we need a ton. Having an emergency fund is helpful, but we don’t keep this fund super huge. There are needs right in front of us…so we try to not worry about the “what if.” God’s proven faithful. We hope to do the same.

So…a few of you have asked, and here is your long answer. Yes, we budget. Yes we have spreadsheets. Yes, we talk about our money all the time. We talk about purchases no matter how big or small. Communication is key for us. Being on the same page is key for us.

And I have to say the freedom it brings is…amazing!!!!

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So here’s something you need to know about.

I’ve partnered with a new web-based video teaching/training site that launches next month called Innovative Ministry Leader. And the crazy kids over there are using my little video to launch things on June 9th! It was a great experience working with these guys. Even though it was the day Nashville got pounded by tornadoes, that didn’t stop them from doing the video shoot!

Following me in the month of June are videos from Jeff Deyo (Sonic Flood guy), Troy Gramling, Sheri Gould, Greg Stielstra, Doug Gould, Jonathan Lee, Dino Rizzo, Paul Jackson (no relation!) Tommy Kyllonen, Mark Batterson, Ross Parsley, Glenn Packiam, Skye Jethani, Carl Cartee, Jud Wilhite….and the list continues to grow.

Innovative Ministry Leader is the world’s first complete web-based training center for today’s leaders. It allows EVERYONE from your team (one person or one million) teaching and insight from innovative leaders from around the world.

IML has video teaching in the areas of leadership, worship, marketing, culture and technology.

Every month IML features new web-based videos that range in length from 20 to 60 minutes. There are areas for people to engage in chat rooms as they watch the teaching and even has a “buddy list” of sorts so you can connect with leaders with similar interests.

All videos are archived as well, so you can access them at anytime!

It’s a monthly subscription and it is SO affordable…$34.99/month for unlimited access to everything. Again — that is for your WHOLE staff, leadership team, volunteers, whoever!

**And…I’m happy to announce the first 150 people who register will receive all 8 of the Leadership Network Innovation Series books FREE!**

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-Deliberate Simplicity by Dave Browning
-Confessions of a Reformission Rev  by Mark Driscoll
-The Multisite Church Revolultion by Geoff Surratt, Greg Ligon and Warren Bird
-Leadership from the Inside out by Kevin Harney
-The Big Idea by Dave Ferguson
-The Monkey & The Fish  by Dave Gibbons
-Sticky Church by Larry Osborne
-Servolution by Dino Rizzo

So…click over, check it out, sign up…and can’t wait for June 9th when some Mad Church Disease teachin’ will be going down.

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One of my friends emailed me last week about the boundaries I’ve set for some of my online habits. He wanted to talk about them a little bit more, and jokingly said “I’m addicted to that stuff!”

His remark sent me into one of those little ADD brain tangents I frequently find myself in…(to which he received the brunt of in my return email).

We wouldn’t joke around about an addiction to porn, or to alcohol, but we do joke around about being addicted to technology.

And so I wonder…are we?

My friend Mike has a good, unofficial way of finding out. If you wonder if you’re addicted to something, take a break - cold turkey - for two weeks. See how long you make it. You’ll get a pretty good idea if you’re addicted or not.

Could you imagine taking two weeks off from Twitter or Facebook or your RSS reader or…?

More importantly, would you?

Statistics have shown that whenever I use the word “porn” or the word “boobies” in a title, multitudes of traffic will follow.

And I don’t do it for traffic’s sake.

I do it for the message.

Really.

About a month ago, my friend Mike Foster (co-founder of XXXChurch.com and Deadly Viper ninja) and I spoke at Community Christian Church in Chicago to about 600 high schoolers & junior high students (AND their parents….) about porn, sex, and we even threw out words like “homoeroticism” and “masturbation” and “boobs”…and there may have been talk about cows mating as well.

CCC has made this video available online and I’d love for you to check it out - just click the image below to go to it.

At the same time, I want you to know that both Mike and I are VERY passionate about discussing these issues within the church…whether it is within a StuCo setting, college, or yes, even adults, God has wired us to discuss the freedom that comes from healthy sexuality.

We don’t have a formal tour organized (although we’ve discussed getting a huge light show and some big buses and maybe some pyrotechnics at some point) but we do want to let you know that if this is something your church, college, or student ministry would like for us to visit and to talk about, we would be honored to serve you.

Just shoot me an email and we can work out the details from there.

And you might want to check out how we fight the Assassin of Boom Chicka Wah Wah on the Deadly Viper Week of Hot Sex.

Now, on to the show…

The cold rain was unusual for Baton Rouge in December. Yet even in the dark, we pulled the van in to the parking lot at the Alamo Motel. The same motel where drug dealers and hookers are the nicer people you’d meet. Where a 47 year old stabbed his 76 year old cousin to death. Where a serial rapist found refuge until he was arrested.  Where girls under the age of fifteen are raped or sold for sex.

A group from Healing Place Church and I checked in on Miss Ella - a grandmother who was taking care of her six grandkids, and a dog, in a 300 sq ft motel room. If you could even call it that. She had a roof over her head and a few mattresses, but that was about it.

During the time I spent in Baton Rouge with the people at Healing Place Church — one thing was for certain. This church was living out the message of love and Christ in their own backyard. From the places where they were rebuilding from hurricane damage, to Dream Centers that housed anyone from the homeless to the domestically abused to the kid who didn’t have anyone to go home to.  While we were out, we saw another van delivering meals to the widows in this community. We visited strip clubs to give flowers to the dancers and earlier that morning, set up tables full of a warm breakfast for anyone who needed it. And there were several hundred who were fed.

Pastor Dino Rizzo and his team have been friends, encouragers, and champions in my own little ministry. I’m so green and new at this, but they don’t care. They challenge me, love me, pray for me, inspire me, connect me with others I can learn from, and they love to learn from others too. I don’t have much to teach them, but their attitude of openness and servanthood is beyond what I could possibly describe in a blog post.

Pastor Dino has a book out called Servolution. If you could package the DNA of Healing Place Church this book does that. I am not exaggerating when I say every single believer out there needs to read this book. We are called to transform the world with the love of Christ and Dino has been so gifted to share what he has learned along the way.

I have ten copies of Servolution to giveaway (although I highly encourage you to go ahead and just buy it).

Here’s how you win.

Leave a comment about how you have seen the church BE the church lately and you’ll be entered to win. I’m going to throw in something new this time. If you use the “Tweet This” button below and retweet this post, it will count as a double entry so you’ll have a better chance of winning, plus you’ll be spreading an important message that needs to be heard.  Next Thursday I’ll randomly pick ten people and Zondervan will contact the winners to get their mailing information.

Ready? Steady? Go.

Shame is a sickness…

A disease…

That keeps us hidden.

The remedy for shame is grace.

Grace that requires you to step aside when you know you’re right.

Grace that requires you to consider others better than yourself.

Grace that hurts and is dangerous.

Someone around you needs that grace right now.

Go give it.

And give it freely.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I pressed delete.

Delete on this blog.

Delete on my Facebook.

Delete on my Twitter.

What if I ceased to exist in this online world?

Am I relying on the means too much instead of trusting the power of the message I feel I’ve been charged to communicate?

Isn’t the message, and the One who it came from enough on it’s own?

Is this life of online media the new normal, or is it a mutated form of normality I’ve come to accept?

Has this method of communication become an idol of mine that does things for God instead of the other way around?

Sometimes I wonder.

And I wonder if I’m the only one who is wondering.

Lately, I’ve been feeling a little stressed, so I go back to the measurement of my time and see what the problem is  - my calendar.

And even with the boundaries I established at the beginning of the year, they weren’t specific enough to really help release me from my demon of overcommitment.

I’ve been away from home (give or take) 31 days this year.

That’s a MONTH.

Using some other tools to analyze my time, I realize I spend an average of 2-3 hours a day on social networking sites (checking Twitter, Facebook, whatever).

That would be almost 40 days SOLID in a YEAR!

And I wonder where my time goes.

The stress comes when the things I value in my heart (mainly my faith and my marriage) are not getting the time and attention they deserve. There’s a misalignment of values. What I say is important and where I spend my time don’t line up to a degree where it’s healthy.

It’s not that I don’t see spending time online, interacting, praying, caring, sharing, and learning with people as valuable. But when it trumps the things MOST valuable to my heart (faith, marriage) is where it gets sticky.

Yesterday at lunch I sat down with my calendar and my thoughts and my husband. I had to cancel two speaking engagements, not because they aren’t valuable or important, but because ultimately (due to a variety of circumstances) went away from - and not toward - making my faith or marriage stronger. Being gone at these specific times would have impacted those things negatively, thus causing unhealthy stress.

We also talked about my time online, and decided because I NEED STRUCTURE, I will be sticking to the following “boundaries” until the beginning of September, when we’ll evaluate and adjust if necessary. I’m not saying YOU should do this. I’m just putting in writing what is best for my faith, my marriage, and myself right now.

Twitter. Currently, I probably check it 50 times a day. Lord knows how many times I actually tweet. New boundary? I’ll check and update only three times a day - once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and once in the evening. NO notifications, except direct messages, ping me elsewhere.

Facebook. I’m not on it much anyway, but I’ll only log in to Facebook once a week. NO notifications at ALL ping me elsewhere.

Online Sabbath. Once a week (it’s looking like Saturday) I will be completely unplugged. I will not be checking email, Twitter, Facebook, whatever. If my computer is on, the only thing open is Word so I can work on writing. One day a week, completely computer free.

Stat-Ho. I am only going to check my blog stats, Technorati (as if that means much anymore) and Feedburner stats once a month. I can get obsessed by these numbers and sometimes measuring things too much is a bad idea. At least for me.

So…there you have it. A few new rules in the life of Anne Jackson. I think margin is so important and will talk until I’m blue in the face about it, but if I’m not living that life myself, well, I’m just a big fat liar.

Is there anywhere you need to build in margin? What steps can you take to do it? Sometimes it just takes DOING it.

Just in case you have abandonment issues, I wanted to warn you…this blog might be pretty quiet for the next couple of weeks. My schedule is a little nutty, but outside of tangible things like meetings, speaking engagements, and work obligations, mentally and emotionally I am still in major recovery mode.

(Not to mention my introvert has been stretched to the limits, so solitude is a necessity for my soul!)

I haven’t seen my husband in practically three weeks, so time with him and time to rest are first on my agenda. Blogging isn’t really high on the list at the moment.

But I’ll be back. If I find something worthwhile to post, I’ll post it.

I’m just not going to force it. You guys deserve better than that.

Much love.

I heart Jud and Lori Wilhite.

Seriously.

I met Jud through my friend Mike Foster. The two of those guys authored a great book called Deadly Viper Character Assassins and every once in a while, I pop over and contribute on the Deadly Viper blog.

Jud and I met face to face for the first time at Catalyst, although he had helped me process some significant changes in my life before then.

He’s also part Texan. Which I dig.

Jud had a book release a few weeks ago called Eyes Wide Open: See and Live the Real You. I haven’t finished it yet, but that doesn’t stop me from recommending it to you.

Why?

I have always had a HUGE problem accepting WHO I am…the person God has created me to be. It’s been difficult to embrace the quirky, awkward, not always put together, sometimes shy girl who gets sweaty feet when she’s nervous. And as such, I would always try super hard to prove myself.

To God. And to others.

I am definitely on a journey to find my identity in Christ. And that is what this book is about.

And since we’re back to giving books away on Thursdays, I have ten copies of Jud’s book to giveaway.

All you have to do is leave a comment talking about your own journey to finding your identity or embracing who you are. I’ll pick 10 comments at random and contact the winners by email next Thursday.

If you can’t wait that long, pick up a copy of Jud’s book here.

Justin wrote me an email with this great Mother’s Day idea!

Here’s a cool idea I’d like to share. Today I’ve decided my kids and I are going to sponsor a Compassion Child as a mother’s day gift for my wife. I’m going to have my kids help me pick a child from the website, then we’re going to draw pictures of him or her and give those as my wife’s card (along with a massage gift certificate!)

I think I’ll write her a note in my card that goes something like: “You have given US so much love and compassion, we’re passing it on to someone else. Thanks for being a mom that brings out the best in us.”

Just a little throw down/inspiration for some of the other guys out there!

What a super cool idea. If it sounds like something you’d like to do, just click here to begin finding that special kid you can sponsor for Mother’s Day!

You won’t just be giving a huge gift to your mom, or your wife, you’ll be giving an amazing gift to another mom all the way around the world.

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You know the whole picture of having an angel on one shoudler and a devil on the other?

Is it just me, or does that really seem to happen a lot?

Most of the time, the devil stays pretty quiet and the angel and I have some good conversations.

But every once in a while, the devil scoots his blazing little behind closer and closer to my head, and then he latches on with some really wicked claws to my ear.

He’ll start screaming stuff like,

“You’re not good enough for this!”

“If they only knew the real you, nobody would listen!”

“You might as well just give up now because your time is up - you’re useless!”

“You’re dreaming to do what?? YEAH. RIGHT.”

Lately he has been yelling those things constantly. And no matter how loudly I turn up my iPod, my car stereo or my TV, he just keeps getting louder.

Aside from checking myself into an institution, I’m not quite sure what to do but to keep walking in spite of the negative voices.

Does it still affect me? Sure.

But I refuse to let him get an inch.

How do you shut him up?

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All of us bloggerfolk made it back to the States uneventfully…well, as uneventfully as one can when traveling between three airports in India before finally heading home. I am looking forward to taking today to unplug, relax, and reconnect with life back here in Nashville.

One of the things we did right before we left was sit around a table and simply talk about how the trip has affected each of us. Shaun told us a story about how Compassion International started.

Back in the 50’s, a preacher named Everett Swanson went to Korea. Driving through a town, he saw piles of war orphans huddled together to keep warm. The military would drive up to these groups and make them scatter, not wanting anyone to discover the huge orphan problem the country faced. The children that didn’t survive the cold were thrown into the back of military trucks like sacks of trash.

Obviously upset by what he saw, Swanson sought counsel. The key question someone asked him was,

“Now that you’ve seen what you’ve seen, what are you going to do about it?”

Swanson took that and began Compassion International. What’s great to see is now Korea isn’t a country where Compassion children are sponsored, but one that sponsors children - like the US, or Canada, or the UK, or Australia. It’s completely turned around. Some of Korea’s largest churches are pastored by people who grew up sponsored through Compassion.

If you’ve been around my blog at all over the last year and a half, you know I still talk about the Uganda trip, so needless to say, this is not my final post about Compassion or this trip. And for the second time in a year and a half, I’ve seen first hand what something as simple as around $1 a day can do in the life of a child.  It’s been an honor to take you on this journey with us as well.

To close out the series of posts for this trip, I’d like to leave you with this thought:

“Now that you’ve seen what you’ve seen, what are you going to do about it?”

I personally hope you’ll sponsor a child with Compassion.

Tweets about this post:
noelpentony at 2009-06-28T14:28:44Z: So whatcha gonna do? http://www.flowerdust.net/?p=2532 ..As long as you did it to the least of these my bretheren.

Seriously.

I have no idea how in the world I am ever going to blog again after a day like today.

I haven’t laughed harder - or cried harder - in my life.

And it all has to do with this little boy.

His name is Tushar. He’s five. He is one of the children Chris and I sponsor through Compassion.

Our day started out pretty simply.

We met.

Then…well…this madness ensues.

(Watch it. It will seriously be the best minute of your day. I dare you to disagree with me).

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And, well, after five hours of that…there’s nothing left to say but this.

Only $32 a month to give this little boy and his family hope, food, care, education, prayers, letters, photos, laughter, rest, love?

After a day like today, I’d pay a million.

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Today was an INCREDIBLE day.

We spent all day with our individual sponsor children. I had the chance to meet Tushar, mine and The Hub’s sponsor child…who was the most ADD, hyperactive, bright, hilarious five year old I have EVER EVER met.

We are about to head out and meet with some LDP (Leadership Development Program) students. The Compassion Leadership Development Program is a unique program that targets these outstanding high school graduates who want to pursue a post-secondary education but lack the money to do it.

Anyway, until I can find the time to put everything together and introduce you to Tushar (because trust me - you do NOT want to miss this kid!!!) I thought I’d leave you with a quick video of what a typical day looks like here in India. Several of you asked some questions in the live chat we did last night (this morning for us) and I hope this gives you a glimpse inside our day.

Sans all the crying we do back at the hotel.

And the 120 degree weather.

And all of our BO.

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The project in this video still had about 90 kids who haven’t been sponsored. If you’d like to meet some of them, you can click here.

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Just in case you think I have it all figured out (which I pray you don’t) I’m just going to be honest here and tell you what’s in my head. It may not be the most uplifting, call to action post you’ve ever experienced, but it’s me. And it’s what I’m experiencing right now on this trip, which is what I’m supposed to be writing about.

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Tonight, I laid back on the bed in the quiet, with the sound of dripping water outside my window and soft music flowing in my ears. Throughout the evening, I had texted and emailed a few friends, asking them for prayer.

The darkness was getting too much for me.

The phrase from scripture “He is near to the brokenhearted” kept coming to mind. Over and over and over and over again.

Brokenhearted?

Yeah, a little.

Or maybe a lot.

I’m still not sure.

So many questions…if I am brokenhearted over the things I saw today, is God near me? If he is…why don’t I sense him? How brokenhearted could I truly be, lying in my plush blankets after seeing babies sleep alone on cardboard cots? How do I think my life is really dark when I know millions of families are going to bed tonight without getting a drop of clean water? Is God near to them? Where is he?

In spite of the questions, I still see God near. I see him in the eyes of the children we’ve met. The unconditional smiles and hand-holding. The beautiful voices, the excitement, the hope.

He’s more than near…he’s here.

It’s difficult to think one could be frozen when it’s 115 degrees outside.

When your body is drenched in sweat and covered in smoke and smog and the warm hands of children.

But I am.

Physically, no. I’m not frozen. Although the room from which I type this post is easily under 60 degrees (oh, where art thou, space heater?) mentally, emotionally.

I am.

Completely.

Frozen.

I have no words to describe what I’ve seen today. What I’ve touched. Tasted. Hugged. Sang. Clapped. Eaten. Smelled.

These bloggers around me, they’re sharp. Somehow they’re able to process these things in a beautiful way.

Quickly.

Me?

Not today.

I need more time.

I need more of Him.

And yet there are so many needs, I can’t believe I have no words.

Your $32 a month does amazing things for a child.

Education. Medical care. Spiritual care. Food.

And it doesn’t just influence the child you sponsor, it influences the whole family.

Pretty much anyone of us can send $32/month and not think twice about it.

And as that $32 represents amazing opportunities for a child, as Spence says below, it’s the letters that make dreams happen.

We visited the Compassion East India offices the day before yesterday. They receive over 1000 letters a week from sponsors.

Here are a few videos that show you what happens with those letters after you send them off in the mail.

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The first one is a quick video from Compassions’ East India offices.

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The second one is of a home visit where we ask if the little girl is sponsored. She doesn’t just say yes…watch what happens.

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I know many of you already sponsor children - I’d love to hear about them! Please share their stories in the comments…

Also…if you haven’t sponsored a child yet, you can meet the ones who need sponsors here.

And I urge you, if you sponsor a child…write them a letter. Send them some photos or stickers. And if you don’t have one of the letter forms handy, did you know you can write to them online or even download the official stationary? You can also send them a little extra gift!

Who knows? They totally might buy a sheep with it.

These letters make dreams come true. Your words have the power to do amazing things!

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Her name is Anne.

She has fallen victim to some bad curry.

Or maybe it was the pizza.

Either way.

She wears no makeup today.

She doesn’t fix her hair.

Her eyes are red because she’s been crying.

And her bed has been one of her two closest friends.

(I’ll let you guess what her other friend has been).

Two of us bloggers had to stay behind due to gastrointestinal issues. It just seemed like the smartest thing to do. Our project was out two hours on bumpy roads, and the heat index is to reach 115 degrees today.

Probably not so good for those who are naturally dehydrating themselves.

On to Anne.

In early 2008, she had it all. An amazing job working alongside two of the most respected and innovative pastors in the American church. She had a good salary, a cushy downtown apartment with red walls and hardwood floors. She had just purchased her adulthood dream car.

And sure, she was generous — at least in her own American way. She tithed to her church, gave above and beyond for new projects, and sponsored a Compassion child in Ethiopia. (The one who bought a sheep with the EXTRA money she and The Hubs sent).

Then in February, she touched poverty on a trip to Africa. She smelled it. For a week, no matter where she turned, it was there.

They had eyes of hope, but skin and bones for flesh.

They had dreams, but no clean water.

They were covered in potential, but they had no clean clothes.

And on this trip, something inside her broke. Sixteen months later, it’s never been fixed.

Anne and The Hubs quit their jobs. They moved to Nashville where they had friends with like-minded pursuits and opportunities. Now, using the internet, and video, and Twitter, and Facebook, she wants to take you as close to these under-resourced areas as possible.

You may never touch the rough hand of a young, hungry child.

You may never smell what raw sewer and smoke and smog smell like on a hellishly hot and humid day.

But it is my prayer for you that something will break.

Reading our stories, and learning about the children and the families and the culture we are experiencing isn’t enough.

Yes, I am more than amazed at the response as some of you have connected to one story or another. I am amazed that close to 200 children have been sponsored because of this trip, and over 1400 have been sponsored as a result of all blogging trips.

But as Shaun said yesterday, it’s not about the money.

It’s about the relationship you and a child a world away will have. It’s about them hearing they are loved. It’s about praying for them. And knowing they are praying and thinking about you.

See that? Those are sponsor letters. This Compassion office in East India processes over 1000 letters to children a week.

For The Hubs and I, over the last year and a half, it’s been about living with less. It has taken time, but we have cut our expenses literally in half. In the summer, we will be moving into an 800 sq ft, 1 bedroom cottage thanks to our friends who have so graciously rented it to us for a more than reasonable price. Our credit cards are paid off. We’ve canceled things like cable and wireless cards and I’m even weaning myself off my beloved Lunesta to save another $50/month.

I tell you this not in pride, but because as we have developed these relationships with the sponsored children we have, they continue to affect us. They continue to bring us to new levels of “comfort.” For us, “comfort” doesn’t mean what it used to mean.

We can’t be comfortable the way we used to be.

I’m not going to try and passive-aggressively manipulate you. This trip is about getting children sponsored, yes. Not only for the financial freedom $32 brings them a month, but for the financial freedom it will bring you as you store up in treasures elsewhere. I’m not talking about heaven. I’m talking about Africa, India, Burkina Faso.

Your own home.

This girl named Anne is not perfect. She still spends far too much money on clothes and hair product. (Just ask my roommate on this trip). This girl still makes decisions that are meaningless and selfish.

But she also believes with all of her heart that one child sponsorship will not only change the life of someone across the world, it will change yours in ways you can never imagine.

If you feel stuck…trust me on this. Just trust me. Because I’ve been there.  There is freedom in truth. There is freedom in carrying the burdens of others.

You will be amazed.

I promise.

Here’s the link to look at the children that need your help.

This is my ask.

The rest is up to you.

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